The Gore Era ends with the disaster that is The Hills Have Eyes 2.

March 24th, 2007 in Dvd, Movies, Opening Today, Reviews, horror

Well, what can I say? Friday night I witnessed the most horrible, disgusting, unnecessary scene in movie history. Then after turning off the Neo/Trinity love scene in The Matrix Reloaded, I went to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 and witnessed something equally appalling during the first seven minutes. Just. Wow. This sequel to a remake, that was a remake itself, but not really a remake, but with the same idea, just a different plot, was epically horrible. Before I rip it apart, let me give you an idea on the ’story’…

In the middle of the New Mexico desert, trainees of the National Guard are going through exercises to ready themselves for war (Yeah, I didn’t know the National Guard fought either.). Their Sergeant calls them in after a full day of playing G.I. Joes to reveal their less-than-exciting assignment of escorting some secret scientists around baron government property. When they arrive at the work-site, there’s (gasp!) no one in sight. They quickly rule out a coincidence and begin their search for the missing soldiers and scientists only to succumb to what the movie trailers have been teasing us with for months.

Ever since the movie Saw, gore has been all the rage with the kids. Who needs a storyline when you can show some blood, some guts, and an exploding head or two? We saw box office hits in all the Saw sequels, Hostel, and the first Hills Have Eyes, the industry figures a gory flick is a guaranteed paycheck. Hopefully this will all come to end with this disaster.

Everything about this movie was wrong. It was beyond cliché with it’s somewhat familiar faces (”Where have I seen him before?”), it’s hot and sexy leading lady who holds out on the nudity until the next sequel, it’s gore for the sake of having gore, and it’s long list of famous last words (”There’s nothing over there.”, “I’ll be fine by myself.”, and “We can’t leave her here.”). On top of that, it includes what I feel is a little overused and yet unneeded in today’s cinema, the rape scene. Even I felt a little comfortable at the first film’s graphic scene. The sequel just had to throw one in there to keep the shocking more shocking. Less graphic, but still unsettling. This is coming from someone who laughs at sudden decapitations (I enjoy them.). 

There were some funny moments that some may missed that I caught.  You can tell the film was rushed from the lack of details in the film.  Helmets don’t magically tilt and turn during dialogue and the overuse of the same insult is neither funny nor original.  Why they rushed it, I’ll never know.  The re-shoots were obvious.  Holding a study lamp next to an actor’s face and setting up a blurry, brown background does NOT replicate a desert.  The film was not well made.  How dare you, Wes Craven.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 ranks just above Land Of The Dead, but just below the remake of The Fog. Don’t see it. Don’t see it for free. Don’t see it ever.

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