Screenhead

Okay, maybe not so strangely familiar.

Today we’re talking about The Final Destination, latest and possibly last in the series of Final Destination titles, and oddly enough, almost exactly the same movie as the three that preceded it.

See, once again, we’re back with a group of what I’m guessing are college students who are out for a good time.  Suddenly, for absolutely no explained reason AT ALL, one of them has a vision of a whole bunch of people getting killed, and takes advantage of this vision to get him and his buddies to safety.

This of course torques Death to no end because he was clearly behind in his quota and thus decided to engineer the demise of fully several hundred people at a stock car / possibly NASCAR race.

Thus, Death’s got to finish the job not by a heart attack or brain embolism or by even something as simple as choking on a piece of food, but by engineering a series of complex, Rube Goldberg style situations in which the tiniest thing builds into a horrendous demise for everybody in sight, including stuff that makes no sense, like explosions started off by light making contact with dirt.

Look, I’m familiar with the physics behind a dust explosion, but I SERIOUSLY doubt the sun through a pair of glasses making contact with dirt is sufficient to IGNITE BENZENE.

And this kind of strange logic lapse will show up all through the movie, including one particularly awesome sequence that features tire squealing that sounds like a dolphin.

The logic isn’t just the only puzzle here–the puzzle is how they can make the same movie basically four times over and not have anyone notice that they’re watching, basically, the SAME MOVIE FOUR TIMES OVER.  I have seen all three prior to this one, and I am truly hard-pressed to determine where anything NEW is in The Final Destination as compared to any of the prior three, aside from different characters and locations.

That having been said, to death, it’s not as though The Final Destination is a bad movie.  It’s actually kind of entertaining in its way, to see the whole “death’s design” thing play out in front of you.  Sure, the plot is a complete joke and logic is about as welcome here as a cop at a high school kegger, but it’s still a fun movie with lots of explosions and bright colors, so it’s not all bad.

Of course, by “not all bad”, I mean, “having virtually no redeeming feature whatsoever.”

The Screenhead Ten Scale, thusly, gives this sad little logic bomb a four out of ten for insulting me with its insistence that I sit through the same movie I already saw back in 2000.

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