Well, folks…bad news. Terrible news in point of fact.
Apparently, Herr Doktor Uwe Boll hasn’t had enough of destroying video game to movie translations yet, because he’s somehow gotten access to the Far Cry series.
A trailer has emerged, and man, is it a doozy. It has all the hallmarks of a Herr Doktor film–halfassed plot, weak dialogue, and lots of explosions. The trailer doesn’t look too bad, but I’ve seen enough decent trailers built out of horrendous movies. Naturally I’ll reserve judgment until the actual product emerges, but you’ll excuse my skepticism.
This IS, after all, Herr Doktor we’re talking about here. Seriously, does the guy have any GOOD movies to his credit? Sure, Postal was a riot but even that was still pretty weak. It’s hard to imagine a Boll movie going over well at all.
And of course, we have the trailer right here for you, so settle in and enjoy this newest wreckage in the making.
Well, despite a whole lot of stops and starts, and the arrest of the original series’ writer, it seems that Silent Hill 2 may not be completely dead. In fact, it’s so alive that they’re projecting a release date…in 2010.
Dig the word from the series’ designer:
“I was working on storyboards for that around the same time last year…It’s going to be pretty crazy. There’s a lot of cool stuff in there. Roger (Avary) has some awesome ideas and hopefully we’re going to bring that to fruition sometime next year.”
Yeah…too bad Roger (Avary)’s in lockdown, buddy. But hey, if Roman Polanski can engineer his movie from prison then maybe Roger Avary can drop some notes down or something. Stranger things have happened, and many of them have happened to us.
I have to admit, I’d kind of like to see where they go with it. After the miserable ending the last one had, I have no idea what they’re planning to do. There’s not even much of anything they CAN do. I mean, two of the three mains are ghosts of some kind and the third is sort of, well, still around.
So what can they do? I don’t know. And that intrigues me.
Well, folks, since the “stop Uwe Boll” petition crapped out at just over three hundred fifty thousand signatures, well short of the million required to put an end to Herr Doktor Uwe Boll’s movie career once and for all, he’ll be coming out with a new movie called–get this–Darfur.
As always, it includes a preposterous mix of has-beens and almost A-listers like Matt Frewer (this one hit me especially hard), Edward Furlong (what, no Crow knockoffs hiring?), Kristanna Loken (yeah, the T-X Kristanna Loken) and Billy Zane (possibly as part of an arbitration agreement after his distribution company so clearly let down Herr Doktor for Postal) come together to bring us a movie about the war-and-genocide capitol of the world.
Oh, and the best part? Seems Herr Doktor couldn’t be bothered to get copy editors around to make sure the trailer had no typos. Follow this link to check it out for yourselves and see the wonder he has spawned.
I’ll admit though, the movie itself doesn’t look that bad for a change. Maybe Boll outside of video game knockoffs isn’t a complete disaster, but we’ll have some time to wait before we find out.
Ohhhh wow. Okay, folks, sit down for this one, because this is some SWEET news that’s already got me hunting in the couch cushions for ticket money.
Seems Jerry Bruckheimer’s got it in his head to try and do a remake of the old PC game Shattered Union, in which Washington D.C. gets nuked and the remaining states collapse into their own regional nation-states, with the Europeans insisting that we get our act together. Meanwhile the Russians are using the resultant melees to retake Alaska.
It’s a pretty complex idea, and putting Jerry Bruckheimer in charge of it assumes that major portions of the backstory will be smoothly glossed over in favor of more bang-bang. I say “major portions”, of course, this isn’t a MICHAEL BAY movie, after all–there’ll be some story in here too.
But is this too narrow a concept? Is Bruckheimer counting on the gamers only to show up in droves? Will that be enough? We’ll be waiting quite some time to find out-the project is still in development.
Seriously, when I first heard that Steven Spielberg was looking to handle the Halo movie I was just all sorts of perplexed.
One, I thought that role had already been offered to District 9’s Neil Blomkap.
Two, seriously…what’s Spielberg doing handling video game translations?
Three, aren’t video game translations supposed to suck out loud? What if this one turns out to be, you know, GOOD? Granted, this isn’t so much a video game adaptation as it is an adapation of a book based on a video game (the movie’s script is slated to center around The Fall of Reach), but that’s really just semantics. At its roots, this will be a Halo movie.
I’m not sure this will work out, but one thing’s clear, the whole thing will probably prove to be pretty interesting before it’s all said and done. Whether or not Spielberg can make a video game movie is up for grabs, but considering his array of successes, I’d figure he’s got a chance. Might be interesting to have a GOOD game movie to talk about for a change.
This trailer for Max Payne shows more and tells more about the movie. For those who are not familiar with the video game, you’ll get a better understanding of the film. I love the lines: “Are you a cop?” Payne shows his badge, “Not tonight.”
Another trailer came my way — Max Payne– based on the video game of the same title. Mark Wahlberg stars in this movie. A very appropriate role for Wahlberg; he’s Max Payne. The action sequences are tour de force. Beau Bridges also stars, which is a real treat for the audience because he is a very strong, confident actor.
Well, despite a whole lot of stops and starts, and the arrest of the original series’ writer, it seems that 
Well, folks, since the
Ohhhh wow. Okay, folks, sit down for this one, because this is some SWEET news that’s already got me hunting in the couch cushions for ticket money.
Seriously, when I first heard that Steven Spielberg was looking to handle the Halo movie I was just all sorts of perplexed.