Screenhead

I have to admit, the crop of movies that have been coming out of the Halloween Horror Nights festival’s short film contest have been pretty impressive so far.  Short films often have a tough row to hoe in that they don’t really have time to crank up the scares, but these have done nicely.

Today we’re checking on If I Die Before I Wake, another 2008 entrant.  Will it keep up the hot streak?

The answer here, sadly, is no.  This is the first bad one I’ve seen in the series, and there’s a good reason. It’s incomprehensible.  While it starts out interesting, as a man undergoes a series of violent dreams, or possibly hallucinations, the cause behind them all is what’ll get your dander up, especially if you’re into coherent narratives as much as I am.

Seriously, not one iota of this makes any sense.  By the time I got to the ending I was so abjectly butt-lost that it didn’t even matter any more.

Thus, the Screenhead Ten Scale spits my ire at this incomprehensible sludge pile by handing it a two out of ten.  It’s a confused mishmash of images with no overarching theme to hold it all together, and the ending is just the runny icing on this pudding of a cake of horrendous filmmaking.

You know, one of the great parts about doing this kind of thing is that, generally, you learn something new and usually interesting every day.  And what I learned today is that the Halloween Horror Nights show down in MGM Studios Florida had a short film contest.

This is one of those films.

In this one, a sleepwalker discovers that his nightly walks can lead to something a lot more sinister than waking up naked in public.

It’s not a bad film–I can see why it made it to the finals of the Halloween Horror Nights festival–but by like token, I really can’t see it doing much good.  The ending was fairly predictable, and it didn’t bring anything that new or original to the table.  I would’ve liked to see it try something different and exciting, but it is what it is and it didn’t turn out that badly.  Especially considering you’ll only put three minutes into watching it.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, therefore, gives Sleep Walker a six out of ten for doing a passable job, but not taking as many chances as it might have.

Time for another round of rumor control, kids–we’ve got a doozy to investigate this time.

Seems word’s getting around that no less than Bryan Singer will be brought in to handle the upcoming adaptation of Battlestar Galactica–pretty much the only popular SyFy series there is–to be converted to the big screen.

I personally would find it terribly awesome to do a big screen version of Estate of Panic, and if anyone wants a script for that, just say the word. I’m all over it like lawsuits on a ten-dollar Best Buy TV ad.

But anyway, the big problem with that word that’s getting around is that, back in February, Universal hired series creator Glen Larson to do the EXACT SAME THING.

Given that there’s not too much likelihood that Larson and Singer would work together, that means somebody’s out.  But is the original creator overthrown for the big name?  Or is the big name’s appearance a massive steaming load?  Right now, no one’s all that sure, but keep it right here for all the latest.

For those of you around the Florida area, you may already be familiar with Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, a yearly bacchanal of horror in which the greatest of special effects wizardry comes together with hordes of live actors to create a great and scary event.

The initial word so far is that the old classics have been removed.  Freddy and Jason and Leatherface, who are actually still big and going today except for Leatherface, have been pulled in favor of things like a new set of games with Jigsaw.  Michael Myers, however, will also be involved probably thanks to the new if heavily flawed life he’s gotten through Rob Zombie’s godawful remakes.

I’m not a hundred percent sure I’m happy about this–a lack of respect for the classics is no sign of class, and it’s clear that there’s no respect for the classics here any more.  Chances are it’ll still turn out solidly–there’s more than enough fun to be had with the whole “Jigsaw’s game” venture to fill an amusement park of the darker variety.  But without the respect of the classics, well…the culture becomes tainted.

When it comes to family movies, Dr. Seuss has to be the outright king.  Cat in the Hat, The Grinch…all of these are characters that have been both converted into movies and thoroughly merchandised and otherwise monetized by the great Hollywood Engine.  But who’s next for Seuss transfer?  Well, he speaks for the trees, and he knows what he sees…he’s the Lorax, my friends, and he’ll be in 3-D…s.

I am a trained professional writer, do NOT try these impromptu rhymes at home.

Anyway, Universal inked the deal with Seuss’ estate to turn it not only into a 3-D feature film, but also into a ride at Universal Studios.  How’s that for irony, huh?  They’re going to build a ride for The Lorax!  You think maybe he’ll be out front telling us about how he speaks for the trees while we board a ride that burned them to produce steel to make it?

Still though, this could be interesting–keep it here and we’ll bring you all the latest.

Amazing!  I remember playing this game as a kid and can’t believe that a story will actually come from this simple Atari video game. It looks like it will happen because Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to pick up the film rights to the classic Atari video game “Asteroids.” Matthew Lopez will write the script for the feature adaptation, which will be produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura.

As I remember, the concept of the game was so simple.  A player controlled a triangular space ship in an asteroid field. The object was to shoot and destroy the hulking masses of rock and the occasional flying saucer while avoiding smashing into both. 

As opposed to today’s games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. I can’t imagine what that story would be about that could keep an audience interest for at least an hour and a half.  But I guess, Universal is used to that development process because, according to THR, the studio is in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board game properties it is translating to the big screen, such as “Battleship” and “Candyland.”

Universal is currently developing “Pharm Girl,” a comedy focusing on one woman’s journey through the drug industry. The project centers on a woman, star Reese Witherspoon, who gets a job at a pharma powerhouse but begins to see the sometimes unpleasant underbelly of the industry as she ascends through the company’s ranks.

Maradith Frenkel and Tracy Falco are supervising for the studio. The modern pharmaceutical industry has played a wicked role in some Hollywood pictures such as “The Fugitive,” and it was also at the focus of a conspiracy in the Focus Features thriller “The Constant Gardener.”

And yet another graphic novel is being adapted for the big-screen, as Hollywood Reporter carries word that Blake Masters, the creator of Showtime’s Brotherhood, is adapting Boom Studios 2 Guns for Universal.

Written by Steven Grant, the story follows a DEA agent and an undercover naval intelligence officer who are unwittingly investigating each other and who are stealing mob money for the good guys.

They realize later that the mob actually set them up to swipe $50 million from the CIA.

Marc Platt, Andrew Cosby and Ross Richie are producing.

Joe Wright is set to direct Indian Summer for Working Title and Universal.

The film originates from the book of the same name by Alex von Tunzelmann about the last days of Britain’s colonial rule in India and the symbolic end of Britain’s status as a world superpower.

William Nicholson (Gladiator) is penning the screenplay.

Wright hopes to start shooting the film early next year on location in India, but no cast has been mentioned.

According to Variety, the film will follow the momentous events as Britain’s Lord Mountbatten, with glamorous wife Edwina in tow, is sent to oversee the handover of power in the summer of 1947 to Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first prime minister.

Matt Damon is finalizing his deal with Universal to star in The Adjustment Bureau, a modern day love story with sci-fi overtones. The movie will be directed by George Nolfi, who also wrote the script. The story is somewhat based on a Philip K. Dick story.

According to Variety, Damon will play a charismatic congressman who seems destined for national political stardom. He meets a beautiful ballet dancer, only to find strange circumstances keeping their sparks from catching fire.