You’ll never guess who, of all people in the UNIVERSE, wants to star in a romantic comedy! Let’s just say it’s probably the most unlikely person you can imagine–let’s have a little fun and see if you can guess who!
A. Artie Lange
B. 50 Cent
C. Bruce Campbell
The answer? Shockingly, it’s B! FITTY CEN! Can you believe this? After the sheer number of craptacular games and albums he’s put out, he actually wants to star in a romantic comedy. I mean, come on now…I’ve heard some idiotic ideas in my time, but this second rate halfwit in a romantic comedy? That’s one of the dumbest ideas I’ve heard since “John Kerry, reporting for duty.” ! And this is how he put it:
“I’d do a romantic comedy if I liked the script. But it has to be believable and I have to feel I can bring the character to life.”
Kinda like you “brought your character to life” in that horrendous game you put out about the crystal skull a month or so ahead of Indiana Jones, Fifty? Yeah, okay…call me when you discover reality.
Yes, I know…some eye rolling cynicism is to be expected here, as this is not the first time you’ve heard about a revived Arrested Development about to make a push on the movie front. But this new bit of news has something of a new twist to it–a script is reportedly being written by series creator Mitchell Hurwitz and co-executive producer James Valley.
Even better, apparently the last holdout, Michael Cera, has expressed interest in coming back and playing both the role he made famous and the character he’s been playing ever since the show got cancelled–George Michael Bluth.
So there’s reason for at least cautious optimism–all the former cast is on board and the script is in progress–but you should probably take it with the same enormous grain of salt that you’ve been taking all Arrested Development news with for years now. But hopefully, the news is accurate, and by this time a couple years from now we’ll all get to see them…hm. Um…rebuild the banana stand?
Today I’m talking about a movie you probably haven’t heard of.
It was just released this week to theatres, mobile devices, online, and on DVD, and it’s called Rage, a film that will ensure you never look the same way at couture culture again.
It’s about a filmmaker that goes by the name of Michelangelo, a young man out to shoot a film on his cell phone about the fashion industry. As his subjects slowly reveal bits and pieces about themselves, a series of crises bursts into life around them, and each must come to grips with the disasters in their own way. But just how much of these are Michelangelo’s doing? Or is everyone just in the wrong place at the right time?
There’s a mix of no-names bundled in with a bunch of big names–Jude Law’s sharing the screen alongside Simon Abkarian, and Steve Buscemi’s right there with Adriana Barraza. There are plenty more recognizable names, and they’ll all turn in outstanding performances.
Why? Because they HAVE TO. They have literally no choice but to excel since there’s absolutely nothing in the shot but them. No explosions, no other characters, no action, not even music, really–just the actor and his or her lines.
Rage proves the incredible power a movie can pack when it’s well written, and shows what little the Michael Bays of the world are actually doing. The Screenhead Ten Scale gives Rage plenty of respect with a nine out of ten for an amazing display that only becomes predictable at all toward the end.
While the world of cinema is no stranger to Nick Cave, the antipodean singer-songwriter who released brilliant and brooding songs such as The Mercy Seat and Where the Wild Roses Grow, it is pretty strange to see him be part of the Hollywood engine that churned out Gladiator. This week it was revealed that Cave wrote a sequel to the sword-and-sandal hit, at the behest of fellow Ozzie Russell Crowe.
Many would be confused at how a sequel was possible considering the end of the original, but Cave, obsessed with the afterlife (his Lyre of Orpheus album is one of his best), sets the story in the Roman afterlife, as our hero Maximus is reincarnated in an attempt to find his son, and ends up living well into the 21st Century. Sounds strange? Well, it is, so much so that the script was rejected and the film will never be made, despite Crowe’s positive response to the story and Cave’s writing. For more details on the story, including sample dialogue, head here.
In other news relating to Nick Cave, John Hillcoat (director of the Cave-written The Proposition) is also set to direct Cave’s next script, Death of a Ladies’ Man.
Latinoreview.com offered another concept art for Halo: Combat Evolved based on Stuart Beattie’s proposed movie script. According to Lationreview.com Halo is a 2001 science fiction novel by Eric Nylund based on the Halo series of video games and work as a prequel to Halo: Combat Evolved, the first game in the series. The novel details the events which led up to the game and explains the origins of the SPARTAN II super soldiers, narrating the story of the series protagonist, the Master Chief. It is set in the fictional Halo universe, taking place in the 26th century across several planets and locations.
Here’s an interesting little scoop. My.spill.com managed to get a hold of Michael Bay’s unsolicited script for The Dark Knight, which of course got instantly rejected by Warner Bros, who released Christopher Nolan’s current record-breaker. The site manages to post a couple of pages of said script, revealing the extent of Bay’s “talents”. Quality moments include a description of Rachel Dawes as: “She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world”, the attention given to Bruce Wayne’s pecs, and the slow-mo sequences of the Batmobile narrowly avoiding civilians happening “seventeen times”.
Okay, obviously this is a joke, but in every joke there is some truth, and I imagine if Michael Bay ever attempted a Batman script, we’d end up with something pretty similar. Kudos to My Spill for coming up with one of the funniest parodies in months!
With Tarantino set on shooting Inglorious Bastards later this year, the film’s script has already been reviewed for public consumption by Latino Review and NY Mag’s Vulture.
Both reviewers rave about the WW2 project, revealing some of its basic storyline which is broken up into five chapters. I’ll leave it up to you to read up on the story on either site, but personally I find it pretty cool, especially the third chapter.
The film is scheduled for release sometime next year, with shooting set to begin later this year.
