No one’s ever going to mistake Stan Helsing for a high-brow horror flick. But this title, that you can get in video stores starting tomorrow, will prove to at least be a watchable horror comedy with some slightly entertaining elements.
In Stan Helsing, which Anchor Bay sent me a copy of, the title character is a video store clerk on a mission–to make as little of an impact on the world around him as possible. Seriously, I don’t know if this guy’s just the laziest guy on the planet or if he’s got some kind of allergy to doing anything, but he sure seems like he just plain doesn’t care. Faced with losing his job at a video store (a Schlockbuster, no less!) he’s forced to make a delivery run for the owner’s mother. With his friends in tow, Stan goes forth on a voyage of discovery, personal growth, and godawful monster parodies to make his delivery and save a gated community from the wrath of various aforementioned monster parodies.
There were a few parts in here that got me to laugh. This is important. Had it not been for that handful of parts I would’ve dismissed this outright as plain old garbage intended for teenage boys who otherwise couldn’t get their hands on porn.
Let’s put it this way–the movie openly admits it was written and directed by the executive producer of Scary Movie, and the writer and executive producer of Soul Plane.
Yeah. That’s what we’re dealing with.
Like I said, this isn’t THAT bad a movie, but it’s definitely nothing great. It’s predictable, it’s tired, it’s badly disjointed, and frankly, it’s trying to do entirely too much in entirely too little time. I don’t know why their Freddy Krueger analogue Fweddy is dressed like Flava Flav. I don’t know why their Chucky’s face has a tic-tac-toe game carved into it. I’m not sure I want to know why their Leatherface is wearing a purse or why their Michael Myers is wearing a yarmulke. And possibly gratefully the movie will respect that and not even bother to try explaining it.
The Screenhead Ten Scale hands this barely passable rental a three out of ten and says that Bo Zenga should stick to producing. At least Scary Movie wasn’t complete crap.
Popularity: unranked [?]
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