Screenhead

I never imagined Adrien Brody playing a role that Arnold Schwarzenegger played before. But I guess I have been disabused of that idea.  Now, I can see Brody playing the heroic mercenary who battles alien hunters in Predators. This is clearly a reinvention of the Predator franchise that is being spearheaded by Robert Rodriguez.

Brody joins a long list of actors: Alice Braga, Danny Trejo, Walton Goggins, Oleg Taktarov, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali and Louiz Ozawa. A much larger cast compared to Schwarzenegger’s original Predator where it was pretty much a cat and mouse game with Schwarzenegger as the mouse and the Predator as the cat.

Brody plays a mercenary who tries to keep his team alive when its members are hunted by the aliens. There are high hopes to spring a new franchise, and Brody has signed options to return for future installments.

Nimrod Antal is directing the film, production is about to get under way on location in Hawaii with a release date set for July 9, 2010.

Obviously this is Brody’s first action hero turn, though he is best known for his Oscar-winning turn in the Roman Polanski-directed The Pianist.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Normally when I say “Rose McGowan was in a big hit”, you think maybe it was  a movie or TV show.  You might be thinking Charmed.  But as it turns out, it took on a whole new meaning on the set of Red Sonja–a literal one.

“I had wrist and elbow surgery and they took part of my elbow out. I had really bad nerve damage from doing stunts – I do a lot of my own stunts,” McGowan recently told Tarts. “I could no longer use my arm, but now I can hold a fork and drive so we’re working our way up. It’ll probably be another six months of rehab, but It’s the price you pay for being really limber and being able to do back flips!”

I just READ about that and it’s enough to make my arm hurt.  I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for her.  It’s especially strange, though, that technically shooting for Red Sonja isn’t slated to begin for a while yet, so how’d she get the injuries on set?  Pre-filming training?

We don’t know, but we’ll keep an eye out and let you know when the Red Sonja filming gets back in play.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I’m intensely conflicted about what to write about Robert Rodriguez’s newest outing, Shorts.  It’s clear that, despite the fact that he’s gunning for more family-friendly stuff of late, you can still feel the influence of his grittier stuff like Machete, Planet Terror and From Dusk Til Dawn.

And it’s this strange synthesis that leaves me a bit nonplussed.

The plot is about what you’ve gathered from the trailers–a magic wishing rock falls from the sky one day for no clear or explained reason, and the town of Black Falls, a planned community revolving almost entirely around a corporate headquarters, runs amok, horrendously misusing its powers.

Where Shorts is somewhat different is that, mostly because it’s told by a ten year old with all the short term memory of certain breeds of hamster, it’s presented as a series of interconnected short films shot out of order.  They’ll start with zero, a fairly pointless exercise about a brother and sister who regularly engage in long-term staring contests, so much so that they’ve developed the ability to sleep with their eyes open.  They’ll then segue into a series of other shorts, starting with a lonely boy with few friends and braces like railroad ties who’s regularly hassled by the town’s bad girl, her lunkhead brother, and their gang of small evil children.  They’ll move to a threesome of adventure-craving brothers who aren’t too bright, a germophobe engineering wizard and his brilliant put-upon son, a costume party gone terribly wrong and finally the end of the whole mess in which pretty much every character we’ve seen so far comes back to settle the assortment of loose ends that have spawned throughout the film.

On the one hand, Shorts is a highly unique and highly entertaining film that takes a lot of chances and succeeds about half the time.  On the other hand, Shorts is a poorly written pile of garbage with lots of unresolved plot holes that watches like it was conceived, whole and breathing, by a particularly bright ten year old who just learned about narratives last week in Mrs. Thompson’s English class that takes a lot of chances and FAILS about half the time.

I found myself wondering how long it would take before someone noticed that the town bad girl’s name was actually a FONT (her highly unlikely name: Helvetica Black.  They’ll make a SONG out of it while she’s driving a rocket-propelled motorcycle in the grandest Rose McGowan tradition despite the fact that she’s about TEN.) and sure enough, when the movie was almost done, the put-upon genius son of the town’s germophobic engineer called her “Typeface” and all was briefly well.

Basically, Shorts is one of those movies that you don’t want to insult too loudly because it actually tried to do something different for a change, and in Hollywood, that’s all too rare.  However, Shorts only manages to succeed in the chances it takes roughly half the time, therefore, the Screenhead Ten Scale recognizes effort and gives Shorts a seven out of ten: a five for its successes, and two bonus points for effort.  It’s a great kids’ movie, but adults shouldn’t be too insulted by it.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Everyone remember when Robert Rodriguez was talking about some really really awesome sci-fi flick he was planning to do called Nerverackers in Trouble?

Yeah…um…that’s gone now.

Seriously, it’s just vanished; future distributor Dimension Films pulled Nerverackers in Trouble from its release calendar, which pretty much means it’s either gone or delayed so far out that it might as well be gone.

Though that doesn’t mean it may not come back at some point, or under some new studio or any of the hundreds of other possible scenarios that this business generates on any given day like so many chess matches.  I’m actually hoping that’s the case, because Rodriguez’ s stuff is actually pretty good, and for all the times he’s been compared to Quentin Tarantino, all I can say is, none of Robert Rodriguez’s pieces sucked out loud.  Tarantino, meanwhile, cannot say the same.

Two words: Death. Proof.

So we’ll keep an eye on Nerverackers In Trouble, so that hopefully one day we’ll be able to announce that neither they, nor their movie, are in trouble any more.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Has Robert Rodriguez lost his mind?  Even I’m beginning to wonder and you know that cinematic weirdness is my bread and butter.

So it was just a couple days ago when I filled you in on the startling addition of Lindsay Lohan to the cast of Machete.  Well, I just got an updated cast list, and frankly, I’m just baffled.  Take a look at this list and tell me if you see ANYTHING wrong here: Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey.

For those of you wondering, no, I never believed I’d live to see the day when Robert De Niro shared the screen with Lindsay Lohan.  Or Steven Seagal.  And after the slow painful death of Nash Bridges I NEVER believed I’d see Cheech and Don together again.

Don’t even get me started on my puzzlement at the sudden reappearance of Jeff Fahey, either.  Guy’s been doing TV and one-shots since 2007–and this is his first feature in nigh on three years.

I’ve got to admit, if Machete didn’t have my interest before (which it did, but only in a limited sort of way) it definitely does now.   I am all locked into this sucker now and eagerly await its reappearance.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Momma always warned me my sinful ways were going to catch up with me, o my readership, and they certainly have today.  Guess who, I find, is going to be appearing in the upcoming Robert Rodriguez grindhouse special, Machete?

Those of you who said “Paris Hilton”, NO, you clever, clever readers you.  But what I’ve got is almost as entertaining.  It’s LINDSAY LOHAN!

Seriously!  La Lohan herself is going to be showing up in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete.  At least, that’s at last report–the IMDB still has her credit as “rumored”, so it may or may not be accurate.  In a way, this is kind of a sweet idea.  Lindsay’s career has been on the slow slide to nowhere for the last couple years, pretty much ever since her breakup with Samantha Ronson and of course her go-round of I Know Who Killed Me.  That canard would kill anyone’s career.

This may, however, be the start of a turnaround for her, maybe even a shot at scream queen status.  How it works, though, we’ll have to wait to find out.

Popularity: 1% [?]

An unlikely alliance has formed between Jessica Alba and Robert Rodriguez, who have teamed up to option Jean-Claude Bartoll’s French spy thriller comic book series Insiders.

The story revolves around Najah Cruz, a Columbian operative working for the White House. The agent has to infiltrate and bring down a corporate-backed international crime syndicate. The action is spread out across the world, including Chechnya, Afghanistan, Russia and China.

More on it as the film develops.

Popularity: unranked [?]

It’s not the year 3000 yet, but we’ve seen (and will see) quite a bit of cool technology happen within our lifetime. However, I doubt we will be seeing sky-high buildings and flying cars anytime soon except maybe on a big-screen, courtesy of everyone’s favorite director Robert Rodriguez.

He is currently working on a live-action adaptation of classic sci-fi cartoon The Jetsons which I grew up with.

"I’ve been developing [The Jetsons] for awhile," said Rodriguez. He hopes to start shooting “next year” and confirmed that it will be live-action.

However, it should be noted that the man is very busy with other projects, including the Sin City sequel, Predators reboot, the Grindhouse spin-off Machete and the upcoming sci-fi feature Nervecrackers. Despite all this, I’d love to see robotic maids and mile-long horizontal escalators in the sky on the big-screen soon.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Variety reports that Robert Rodriguez will reteam with Dimension on futuristic thriller Nervecrackers.

The story is set in 2085, focusing on a character named Joe Tezca who is part of an elite unit dispatched to quell a crime wave in a theoretically perfect future society.

Famous for his Spy Kids franchise, as well as Sin City and Planet Terror, Rodriguez will write and direct the feature which is being aimed for release on April 16, 2010.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Another movie hits the remake mode, Red Sonja, with Rose McGowan playing the title role. She’s teaming up again with Robert Rodriguez as producer and his cohort Douglas Aarniokoski as director. 

McGowan worked with Rodriguez on Planet Terror, so the familiarity of their work ethnic brings Red Sonja comic book story to full potential of a successful franchise.

I am usually not the one for remakes, but considering the earlier version with Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’m inclined to let this one ride to success.

Red Sonja, which original spelled Sonya, is based on the character created by Robert E. Howard and adapted for Marvel Comics by Roy Thomas.  Story begins with a young girl who over comes tragedy to become the most feared woman warrior ever while she seeks vengeance on those who destroyed her family and discovers a larger purpose for her unearthly powers.

Popularity: 1% [?]