Screenhead

Oh, my heart is heavy, fellow movie buffs.  The fact that there even is a Monopoly movie to talk to you about today makes me vaguely resentful of the whole entertainment industry.    But the plot has recently come to light, and one thing’s for sure…the whole thing is about as outlandish as possible.

So without further carping on my part, here it is–the plotline of Monopoly, the movie:

There’s a guy in Manhattan, he’s a real estate agent.  He hates his job, but he just can’t get enough Monopoly.  Which is a little bit ironic but kind of stupid because Monopoly has about as much to do with real estate as Life has to do with, well, life.

Our real estate guy then decides he’s going to go for the world’s longest Monopoly jag, and he brings his buddies along to challenge the record.  From there, they get in a fight about a girl Captain Monopoly likes and the hero storms off.  The next morning, he wakes up in Monopoly City with a stack of multicolored money and a Chance card in his hand.

And for some reason, now that he’s in Monopoly City, he’s got to defeat the evil Parker Brothers and get back home.

No, seriously.  That’s the plot.  I’m horrified.  And scandalized, frankly–this is just ludicrous in the extreme, and worse yet, apparently Ridley Scott is STILL attached to direct.  This might well be a train wreck on par with absolutely ANYTHING we’ve ever seen before.

Ridley Scott is one BUSY individual.  But let’s face facts–the man’s got like thirty hojillion projects in the works right now, so his announcement that he’s considering an Alien prequel needs to be taken with a grain of salt.  A grain of salt about, say, the size of a Buick.

But he’s clearly been thinking it over, and even has some possible strategies.  Dig the word:

“It’s a brand new box of tricks. We know what the road map is, and the screenplay is now being put on paper. The prequel will be a while ago. It’s very difficult to put a year on Alien, but [for example] if Alien was towards the end of this century, then the prequel story will take place thirty years prior.”

There are possibilities here.  After all, I seem to remember that one of the earliest parts of Alien described an alien ship that crash-landed on LV 426.  Checking Wikipedia confirms my scattered memories, so a great point for an Alien prequel would be, what is that ship, and how did it get jam-packed with xenomorphs?

Of course, it’s a fair bet that that’s a Predator ship that was seeding the planet for use as a hunting ground, so they may have already kinda sorta covered that already.  Still though, I find myself plenty interested in where they’re looking to go with this one.

Prolific screenwriter and playwright John Logan just closed a seven-figure deal with Fox 2000 to adapt The Passage, the Jordan Ainsley vampire novel being taken on by Ridley Scott.  Scott may direct the film, which designates first collaboration for Scott and Logan since the Oscar-winning Gladiator.

The story is about terminally ill patients who become healthy after they are bitten by bats in South America. The government conducts secret tests on human subjects to see if the virus can cure illness in general. The result is an apocalyptic unleashing of bloodthirsty vampire test subjects that include death row inmates.

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Word comes from The Hollywood Reporter that William Hurt has joined the cast of Ridley Scott’s upcoming Robin Hood film.

The upcoming action-drama, penned by Brian Helgeland, takes a more realistic look at the famed outlaw.

Hurt will play William Marshall, the Earl of Pembroke, a hisotrical figure who was one of the most powerful men in Europe at the time.

Other cast members include Russell Crow, Cate Blanchett, Scott Grimes, Mark Strong and many others.

Filming has already begun in the UK.

In today’s second bit of release date news, Universal Pictures has set Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood for release on May 14, 2010.

This completes the whole month of May next year. May of 2010 opens with Iron Man 2 on May 7, then Robin Hood, followed by Shrek Goes Fourth and Prince of Persia on 21 and 28, respectively.

Cast members include Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett in the roles of Robin and Maid Marian. It will be a retelling of the origin of the legendary character.

Cate Blanchett signed on as Maid Marian to star alongside Russell Crowe in Robin Hood with Ridley Scott directing the movie for Universal Pictures.

The movie was first called Nottingham but is undergoing a title change and a rewrite. The filming is set to start in early April.

According to Variety the story follows Robin Hood of Loxley played by Crowe as an original story that hews close to historical facts of the period. Abandoned as a child, he finds community with the common people of Nottingham. Robin’s abandonment and trust issues hamper his ability to fall in love. He meets his match in Marian, a strong, independent woman.

It looks like “The A-Team” has a sensible team of creative folks who will bring the 1980’s TV Series to the big screen. Twentieth Century Fox has joined Joe Carnahan to direct and Ridley Scott to produce with his brother Tony executive produce under their Scott Free banner with the movie opening summer 2010 film.

I’ve met Joe Carnahan; he’s from my neck of the woods, northern California.  The guy can articulate and knows direction. Carnahan is set to work with Brian Bloom to upgrade the script by Skip Woods (G.I. Joe).

Hopefully, production will start June 2009.

If you have been following the route of bringing “The A-Team” to the big screen, then you are familiar with the pot holes Fox has been trying to avoid the series’ original campy tone. Director John Singleton had most recently been attached to try such an attempt before dropping out. Woods came in and started over.

According to Variety, Carnahan and the Scott brothers will use the original premise of the series as the template for an action film. In the original, four Vietnam vets convicted of armed robbery escape from military prison and became do-gooder mercenaries. The Middle East will replace Vietnam as the place the four did their tour of duty, but Carnahan said the origin story is the jumping-off point.

Two major films have been pushed back by Universal Pictures: Horror movie The Wolfman from April 3 to November 6, 2009 and Ridley Scott’s Nottingham out of 2009 completely.

Also, Universal’s The Fast and the Furious 4 will now open on April 3, rather than June 12.

Nottingham starring Russell Crowe, will open in 2010, but no specific date is set.

Nottingham hasn’t even started shooting yet, not until March the latest.

Monopoly like Blade Runner?  That’s a little hard to visualize, but Ridley Scott, lately, has been attached to direct several projects. Monopoly has been added to his list with a futuristic flavor like Blade Runner.

Hasbro-Universal is collaborating on Monopoly, based on the board game according to Hollywood Reporter with Scott attached to direct.

Scott is also producing with Pamela Pettler writing the script, which is supposed to shape into a narrative from the real-estate game.  Pettler’s credits include Corpse Bride, Monster House and upcoming 9.

Several other projects are in the works between Universal and Hasbro while Platinum Dunes is producing feature adaptations of Ouija Board and Battleship. Paramount is set to release G.I. Joe this summer.

Ridley Scott plans to make a science fiction film, The Forever War. He last directed sci-fi classsics Blade Runner and Alien little over twenty-years ago. So, this is great news.

The Forever War will be adapted from Joe Haldeman’s 1974 novel of the same title. Scott’s intent was to direct The Forever War, two decades ago but rights complications delayed his plans according to Variety.

Scott told Variety that that book is a science-fiction epic, a bit of The Odyssey by way of Blade Runner, built upon a brilliant, disorienting premise. The story revolves around a soldier, who battles an enemy in deep space for only a few months, but returns home to a planet he doesn’t recognize some 20 years later.

The sci-fi story is quite a tale which you can peruse here.