Screenhead

So there’s a little bittersweet news today, folks.  I’ve always had a fondness for boat movies, undersea movies and suchlike, and I definitely liked the whole Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea concept.  So when a remake of same was announced, I was somewhat happy about the whole thing.

At least until they told me McG was directing it.  And then I had a problem with the whole thing…but the irony is that I needn’t have a problem with it any more.

See, it seems that McG decided he wasn’t going to have anything more to do with the remake, and thus, he walked away.  And when he did that, Disney decided to shut down the whole program.

The big problem here, of course, is that McG is pretty much a tainted director now since the lesser performance of Terminator Salvation, and the fact that filming an underwater epic like Twenty Thousand Leages Under the Sea would necessarily have to be would cost money like no tomorrow in really lousy economic conditions and be only remotely guaranteed returns (it’s a known quantity but nothing’s been done with it in decades), they just didn’t have much choice.

So hopefully McG can find work again, but if nothing else, he probably made enough cash to not have to worry about work for a while.  Maybe he can go write a biopic or a chick flick or something, something really out of left field

Excuse me while I recover from the paroxysm of hilarious laughter I just had.  My stomach hurts SO bad right now.

But anyway, apparently, Michael Bay’s huge embarrassing failure that was the Friday the 13th remake is toes up.  So much so that word is already out saying that Friday the 13th two is going to be Jason’s last dance. For good.  In perpetuity throughout the universe.

Now you see why I was just laughing my ass off.  Seriously, what are you going to do to Jason Voorhees that hasn’t already been done DOZENS of times?  Stage it in Florida, get him to walk under a space shuttle booster?  Hurl him into the sun?

…okay, that might work.  Marcus Nispel, call me–I’ll write Jason an ending like no one’s ever seen before!

But seriously–considering that Jason’s already had two “final” movies, I kind of doubt that this one will be his REALLY final movie.  Especially with fans actively clamoring for a second Freddy Vs. Jason installment.

So maybe Peter Berg wasn’t the best choice to handle the upcoming remake of Dune.  He walked off the project very recently, leaving Paramount to fill in the hole as best it could, and man, do they ever have an option.

They’ve sent out scripts to two new director possibilities, and you won’t believe who they are.

Neill Blomkamp and Neil Marshall.

Oh yeah.  District 9 and Doomsday themselves are going after Dune.

And even better, chances are Berg took Robert Pattinson with him back when R-Pattz was thinking about tackling Paul Atriedes.

Between two prime directors with actual sci-fi cred now possibly handling the Dune remake, and the fact that Rob Pattinson likely now has nothing to do with Dune, suddenly I’m feeling like getting into a happy dance out here.  There’s so much joy and win in this news post that I may well faint from the sheer happiness of it all.

Well now, here’s something interesting for you lovers of dystopian fare, like myself.  Seems that they’re working out some of the kinks involved in a remake of Mad Max, and they’ve come to two very interesting conclusions:

1. Charlize Theron should be in it.

2. Mel Gibson should NOT be in it.

You may be wondering how the elderly raving lunatic that started the whole thing, pretty much, is managing to be thrown over for a much younger man in the form of Tom Hardy.  In case you’re wondering who Tom Hardy is, he’s the guy who played Captain Picard’s clone in the poorly-realized cash grab Star Trek: Nemesis.

And I basically just answered the question right there.  Studio heads claim Mel’s just too old to handle the part any more.  So they’re handing it over to…the guy who made a bad movie even worse?  I guess this is why I don’t make the big bucks, because that just sounds IDIOTIC.

After hearing the various rumors flying around the Star Trek remake, which was still one of the all time greats as far as the Star Trek series specifically goes, and probably as science fiction in general goes, it was a surprise to catch up to this new chunklet of news.

Apparently, there’s talk that no less than William Shatner will be coming back to the second installment of the remade Star Trek.

J.J. Abrams himself is apparently looking at bringing Shatner on Board, saying that he “would love to work with him (Shatner)”, but the big problem was that “his character died on screen in one of his (Shatner’s) Trek films and we that we wanted to adhere to Trek canon”.  So let that be a lesson to you, kids…Shatner cares more about Shatner than he does established canon.

It’s pretty much shameful how Shatner’s been handling this pretty much since the inception of the Trek remake got started, so frankly, I’d sooner not see him back at all.  But if Abrams can work out a way, I’m willing to work with it.

Remember when I was telling you all about the Phantasm webseries that might possibly have been in the works?  Well, this next bit isn’t about confirming or denying same, but what we’ve got here is a bit of news on a possible remake.  Or even possible sequel.

Director Don Coscarelli, an affirmed Master of Horror based on the short-lived Showtime series of the same name, had this to say:

“It’s something we’ve talked about through the years but the timing hasn’t worked out or getting the finances exactly right. I’ve been cooking up a couple of incarnations of things that I can’t talk about now but hopefully in the near future we could get something in the “Phantasm” world happening.”

Frankly, they could use it.  The fourth installation was a joke that was made up of mostly clips from the earlier titles.  We’re all dying to see The Tall Man get his in the end because he’s had THREE MOVIES to run amok and turn America into a gigantic cenotaph.  I’m eagerly awaiting this one, and hope they can find some financing even in these slim times.

Remember when I said it was the dumbest idea ever to put some UFC fighter in charge of the role of B.A. Baracus in the upcoming remake of The A-Team?

Well, as it turns out, it may not be that bad an idea after all.  Check it out above–the pic with the text is old B.A., otherwise known as Mr. T.  The other pic is NEW B.A., Quintin “Rampage” Jackson.  You may well notice that, well, they look pretty darn similar.

Sure, it’s not an EXACT translation.  That’s never going to happen.  But there’s something to be said for “close enough”, and this just might qualify, or at least it does from where I’m sitting.

Take a look at the two pics then hit the comments section.  Do you think this new B.A. is going to work out all right?  Or is his lack of acting experience going to be too noticeable?

I will admit, before I segue into today’s movie review, the 2009 remake of Children of the Corn of which Anchor Bay provided a copy, that it’s been a while since I last saw the original Children of the Corn, a movie that featured a young Sigourney Weaver.

But the remake, while not really how I remember much of it, did at least manage not to suck.

Children of the Corn takes us back to Gatlin, Nebraska (which makes it doubly ironic that this was shot entirely in Iowa) where a group of children live.  This group of children has killed off all the adults in town , as directed by their theocratic leader, a tiny preacher in short pants by the name of Isaac.  Isaac, aided and abetted by his sociopathic cohort Malachi, control the town full of children with an iron fist.  But when outsiders appear in Gatlin, this may be a test for the children–but will they pass?

Now, there are SIGNIFICANT differences here between the remake and the original.  The remake, for example, casts Burt as an insane Vietnam veteran who runs amok and kills a few kids by the time he’s done.  Isaac, in this movie, is not the stubby shrieking psychotic personality he was, but is now a young preacher that seems almost placid in his duties.  For those of you who love the original and can’t abide any changes, don’t even bother watching this one.  It won’t be the same movie, though it will be within the same ballpark.

However, there do at least seem to be more parallels between this version and the original Stephen King short story, so that’s a very definite plus.

The remake is good, just not in the same way as the original.  Fans of the original who don’t mind a few changes will likely be just fine with the new one.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, meanwhile, is fairly forgiving of this reasonable facsimile and hands it a seven out of ten for being a satisfying watch, if not exactly respectful of the original canon.

All right, He-Man fans, listen up, because I’ve got some good news.  Remember when I told you earlier that the live action He-Man dream was dead?  Well, apparently, it got better in rapid fashion because Sony has picked up the rights from Warner Brothers, and they’re taking that ball and running with it.  Fast points to note: Joel Silver is out and all the development that’s already happened is gone.

This means they’re basically starting over fresh, and given how little we actually knew about the title, it’s probably for the best anyway.  Hopefully they can manage to recover and get a product ready to show, because I’m dying to see if they actually manage to get one right and NOT completely turn my childhood into a smoking ruin of profit driven remakes.

Night of the Living Dead: Origins.  That’s a thought that should both astonish and horrify all at the same time.  While there was already one remake, and as far as I’m concerned it’s the gold standard of remakes, I’m not too sure about a new “remake“…especially one that’s billing itself as, get this–an American-style anime.

Like I said, it’s called Night of the Living Dead: Origins, and they’re meaning to have it explore some of the characters’ backstories.  On the one hand, that’s kind of an interesting idea–I like the thought of figuring out everybody’s backstories myself.  Sure, we know the Coopers got to the farmhouse, but do we really know how?  And which version of Cooper will they follow: the jackass from the remake or the helpful one from the original?  I don’t know, and that’s what this movie should help explain.  What about Tommy and Judy Rose?  And what happened to Ben in Evans City?  How did he KNOW it was a “war zone”?  There are some good questions here that a remake could help explore, but I find myself skeptical of Hollywood’s ability to handle the remake.  Especially since they’re handing the remake over to a couple guys that don’t have much of a filmography that I’ve even heard of.  But seeing as how Night of the Living Dead is now public domain, if I remember correctly, it’s not like there’s anything stopping anyone else from doing the job right.

No word on release dates just yet, but hopefully we’ll be hearing more about this in short order.