I think I may well have had the best moment at the movies in a long time when I went to see Observe And Report. But more on that jolly time later–let’s take a rundown of the plot.
When an anonymous flasher exposes himself to shoppers at the Forest Ridge Mall, it sends head of mall security Ronnie Barnhardt off on a whirlwind adventure of violence, carnage and alcoholism. He must fend off the outside influences of a local detective, pursue his dream of becoming a police officer, further pursue his dream girl Brandi (she works at the makeup counter), once again pursue the thief that’s been preying on the mall, and attempt to overcome his own numerous handicaps in order to achieve his dreams.
Whoever said that Observe And Report was just going to be a darker version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop was absolutely right, but they weren’t COMPLETELY right. What they said was spot-on, but they didn’t say ENOUGH. See, not only is Observe And Report a darker version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, it’s also a vastly more over-the-top version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. You could already tell from the above that there’ll be plenty of similarities between the two; each features a handicapped mall cop in pursuit of a co-worker, each features over-the-top heroism on the part of said handicapped mall cop, each features a mall cop who desperately longs to be a “real” police officer. Plus, both Ronnie and Paul live with their mother. Both Ronnie and Paul will have to face corruption within their own departments.
Like I said, lots of similarities here. But there are differences, and it’s these differences that will distinguish Observe and Report from Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Observe and Report features Seth Rogen, who is much, MUCH more painful to watch than Kevin James. Where Paul Blart was a fat hypoglycemic, Ronnie Barnhardt is merely a slightly chubby medicated bipolar who’s recently gone off his meds. There may also be a touch of sociopathic tendency in Ronnie Barnhardt, which you’ll discover as you watch this guy lay an ASTONISHING number of beatings down on most everyone he comes in contact with.
I will NOT spoiler, but I tell you this, I truly do not believe the thought of Seth Rogen taking on a dozen cops with nightsticks armed only with a Mag-Lite. It just doesn’t work for me.
Better yet, there will be lots of gunplay going on in Observe and Report, and mostly by people who should actually not be allowed to own firearms. Oh, and there will also be full frontal nudity. Full frontal MALE nudity. I haven’t seen this much sausage in a theatre since I saw Beerfest, and that’s LITERAL sausage, not the metaphorical kind in Observe and Report. And that great movie moment I mentioned earlier? Observe and Report has an entire arsenal of F-bombs, and it will not hesitate to drop them even at the most inappropriate times. In fact, so many were flung around one particularly awesome scene that the only other guy in the theatre when I was watching walked out. And he did not come back.
Gunplay, male nudity, alcoholism, profanity in extremis…this is what separates the funny and relatively inoffensive Paul Blart: Mall Cop from the funny but wildly over the top Observe And Report. So if you’re of a sensitive constitution, or didn’t laugh once during Paul Blart: Mall Cop, then you’re definitely not going to like Observe and Report. But if you’re the forgiving sort who can take a whole lot of adult content, then you might get a few laughs out of this. I got quite a few, myself, so I can recommend it, but with so much objectionable about it, I must recommend only with several reservations. If you’re willing to take the risk, then chances are you’ll like this just fine.
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I admit, I walked into the theatre and settled down to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and I was ready to tear it a new one. Several new ones. My claws and fangs were out and I was leaking a hallucinogenic neurotoxin from every pore and orifice my body contained. I was in Full Critic Mode.