Screenhead

See, I knew it.  I knew this was coming.  I knew that, somehow, Katie Featherston was going to burst onto the scene as, at the very least, the flavor of the week in Hollywood after the incredible success of Paranormal Activity.

One, she’s pretty good.  Two, that movie did unbelievably well.  But it’s actually one of the ballsiest things I’ve ever seen to consider what her next movie is.  It’s either phenomenal brilliance, stupidity or hubris for them to retitle Featherston’s next movie from Walking Distance to…

…Experimental Activity.

No, really.  They changed the title from “Walking Distance” to “Experimental Activity” JUST BECAUSE of Paranormal Activity.  Oh, sure, they’re downplaying the title change in interviews, but you know and I know and the half-blind family DOG knows that’s why they did it.

I’ve heard about…Experimental Activity…and it sounds like a pretty awesome movie regardless.  The question of the day, of course, is will more people follow because of the change…or in spite of it?

Paranormal Activity work its scary way to the top of the box office. This is very horrific and awesome! Saw VI came second despite heavy promotion on television and the Internet. Where the Wild Things Are came in a nice third with Law Abiding Citizen behind at fourth. And Astro Boy? He sadly arrived this weekend at sixth place — yet, I still love those machine gun butts!

Results:

1. Paranormal Activity
$22,000,000

2. Saw VI
$14,800,000

3. Where the Wild Things Are
$14,420,000

4. Law Abiding Citizen
$7,017,000

5. Couples Retreat
$11,097,000

6. Astro Boy
$7,017,000

7. The Stepfather
$6,500,000

8.Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant
$6,347,970

9. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
$5,600,000

10. Zombieland
$4,300,000

(Source)

I mentioned yesterday that my daughter, who is nine, went to see Where the Wild Things Are with a friend’s birthday party.  I picked her up from the party, thinking that she had a great time and loved the movie, wrong!  My daughter thought the movie was scary and cried in the car as we drove home from the party.  I thought, “Did she see Paranormal Activity instead?”  No, Wild Things was scary to my daughter. She mentioned one scene where Carol tears off one of the wild things’ arm; it scared her. 

I am only mentioning this because perhaps Wild Things is more of a boy movie. 

Results:

1. Where the Wild Things Are
$32,500,000

2. Law Abiding Citizen
$21,300,000

3. Paranormal Activity
$20,200,000

4. Couples Retreat
$17,900,000

5. The Stepfather
$12,300,000

6. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
$8,100,000

7. Zombieland
$7,800,000

8. Toy Story & Toy Story 2 (3D)
$3,000,000

9. Surrogates
$1,900,000

10. The Invention of Lying
$1,900,000

(Source)

Thanks to the tireless vigiliance of my able cohort Kenna McHugh, we all know that G.I. Joe had a really awesome weekend this week, right?  Good reviews abound–they even coaxed one out of me–and a huge cash weekend.

Huge by any reasonable standard, anyway–the Joes battle with Cobra took in a whopping fifty six million dollars.  But what if I told you that they’d need–get this–another TWO AND A HALF weekends exactly like this just to break even?

This may well be the perfect expression of what’s wrong with Hollywood today.  That incredible movie we just saw?  That took in a huge amount of cash and great reviews?  The very epitome of summer blockbuster?  Its shooting budget was a whopping one hundred and seventy five million dollars at last report.

It’s made fifty six million so far.

To break even, the Joes have to pull off another two and a half opening-sized weekends.  Can they even do it before people lose interest completely?  And with so many more movies coming up–we’ve got District 9 in a matter of days, folks…and for crying out loud, Saw VI is only just over two months out.  Halloween’s almost here!  How are the JOES going to pull off another hundred million bucks, just to break even?

Only time will tell, folks, but I have to wonder if between the economy overall and the performance of GI Joe if we’ve seen the last of the blockbuster for a while.

There’s just no profit in it.

Has Robert Rodriguez lost his mind?  Even I’m beginning to wonder and you know that cinematic weirdness is my bread and butter.

So it was just a couple days ago when I filled you in on the startling addition of Lindsay Lohan to the cast of Machete.  Well, I just got an updated cast list, and frankly, I’m just baffled.  Take a look at this list and tell me if you see ANYTHING wrong here: Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey.

For those of you wondering, no, I never believed I’d live to see the day when Robert De Niro shared the screen with Lindsay Lohan.  Or Steven Seagal.  And after the slow painful death of Nash Bridges I NEVER believed I’d see Cheech and Don together again.

Don’t even get me started on my puzzlement at the sudden reappearance of Jeff Fahey, either.  Guy’s been doing TV and one-shots since 2007–and this is his first feature in nigh on three years.

I’ve got to admit, if Machete didn’t have my interest before (which it did, but only in a limited sort of way) it definitely does now.   I am all locked into this sucker now and eagerly await its reappearance.

For those of you around the Florida area, you may already be familiar with Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, a yearly bacchanal of horror in which the greatest of special effects wizardry comes together with hordes of live actors to create a great and scary event.

The initial word so far is that the old classics have been removed.  Freddy and Jason and Leatherface, who are actually still big and going today except for Leatherface, have been pulled in favor of things like a new set of games with Jigsaw.  Michael Myers, however, will also be involved probably thanks to the new if heavily flawed life he’s gotten through Rob Zombie’s godawful remakes.

I’m not a hundred percent sure I’m happy about this–a lack of respect for the classics is no sign of class, and it’s clear that there’s no respect for the classics here any more.  Chances are it’ll still turn out solidly–there’s more than enough fun to be had with the whole “Jigsaw’s game” venture to fill an amusement park of the darker variety.  But without the respect of the classics, well…the culture becomes tainted.

When it comes to family movies, Dr. Seuss has to be the outright king.  Cat in the Hat, The Grinch…all of these are characters that have been both converted into movies and thoroughly merchandised and otherwise monetized by the great Hollywood Engine.  But who’s next for Seuss transfer?  Well, he speaks for the trees, and he knows what he sees…he’s the Lorax, my friends, and he’ll be in 3-D…s.

I am a trained professional writer, do NOT try these impromptu rhymes at home.

Anyway, Universal inked the deal with Seuss’ estate to turn it not only into a 3-D feature film, but also into a ride at Universal Studios.  How’s that for irony, huh?  They’re going to build a ride for The Lorax!  You think maybe he’ll be out front telling us about how he speaks for the trees while we board a ride that burned them to produce steel to make it?

Still though, this could be interesting–keep it here and we’ll bring you all the latest.

Fresh news out of the “Schaudenfreude Much?” folder for you today, as it seems that an unlikely force is being really badly hit by the economic downturn–Hollywood lawyers.

Citing a decrease in overall film production (for the period between January 2 and July 21 this year, 284 films were released.  That time last year, it was 336.) and in declining dollar value for actor contracts, the Hollywood lawyers that negotiate these contracts and enforce them are having to do lots more work for lots less cash.  Lawyers typically take about five percent of the value of any contract negotiated, and when the contract goes from ten million dollars to two million dollars, that’s a pretty healthy loss for the lawyers.

It’s at this point that most regular folks laugh blackly and say: join the club.  And considering that they’re still making huge money by any realistic standard, it’s reasonable to do so.  And of course, most everyone’s doing more with less these days.  But when you consider that those lawyers are also losing eighty percent of their original revenue in some cases, it’s enough to actually leave you feeling sorry for lawyers.

Never mind, of course, that twenty percent of THEIR pay is still several orders of magnitude above what most people make in a year….

Golden Globe nominee Leonardo DiCaprio is eyeing to star in movie version of “Beat the Reaper.” New Regency is acquiring screen rights.

The novel by Josh Bazell is about a Manhattan emergency room doctor, whose life becomes full of twists and turns when a mobster identifies the doc from his earlier life as a hitman who went into the witness protection program.

According to Variety, the book is just being published by Little Brown, which acquired the title in an eight-house auction in 2007. Bazell, a medical intern, was in his hospital scrubs on the night shift as publishers waged a seven-figure fight for his first novel.

I came across this production still from the movie Where The Wild Things Are directed by Spike Jonze.