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Max Payne is one of those fairly pleasant movies that’ll require your brain to be partially malfunctioning to enjoy fully, but once you’ve had a couple vodka stingers or something similar, you’ll definitely be in a frame of mind to enjoy it.  After all, it takes a kind of brain damage to fully appreciate the bringing together of Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges and Ludacris, which if you’re playing Celebrity Bingo qualifies as a Royal Sampler.

See, Max Payne is one of those hard-boiled gumshoes that…oh, wait.  No. I’m thinking Humphrey Bogart.  Max Payne is a barely contained sociopath. And the reason why Max Payne is a barely contained sociopath is because his wife and baby were killed one fine day by drug addicts.  This left Max to pick up the pieces of his shattered life and use them to cut open the throats of pretty much every criminal that so much as wanders into frame.  As he progresses through this gigantic killing spree that will wind up bankrupting New York from the sheer number of lawsuits it’ll be facing, he’ll discover conspiracy in the hallowed halls of corporate power, extending even into his own department.

I remember my jaw dropping, slightly, when I found out Mila Kunis was in this—my exact words were, “My God, is that MILA KUNIS?”—because she is not who I think of when I think of action heroine.  Thankfully, she’s also not what the director thought of as an action heroine either because she’s not in this wreck for more than like ten minutes or so.

And someone needs to get Mark Wahlberg back into an acting class, hasta pronto, because his Max Payne will go about blasting the first thing he sees at literally any opportunity, and his facial expression will not even change when he does so. That may be the creepiest part of a movie where people on a regular basis hallucinate dark angels flying around and snatching them up and carving them into teeny bits.  Seriously, Mark—you want to change facial expression when you’re blasting those gangbangers with twelve-gauge buckshot fury?  Maybe arch an eyebrow or quirk the upper lip, something to show that the TAKING OF HUMAN LIVES ON A GRAND SCALE is registering in that hunk of dryer lint you laughingly call a soul?

That’s the creepiest part, by far.  The second creepiest part is how anyone accounts for the “valkyries” being hallucinations when they’re actually seen pulling people out of windows and cutting them into teensy bits.  The biggest problem with that, of course, is no one does.  This is why the bit of brain damage comes in handy, because then you won’t notice these teensy-tinsy gaping plotholes and will instead look at the monsters and gasp over how COOL they look.

Because they really DO look cool.

And that’s Max Payne in a nutshell.  It LOOKS cool.  It SOUNDS cool.  And if you’ve got a mild case of brain damage to ignore the massive structural failure that is a plorline, you’ll probably even find it cool.  And you’ll probably even be happy to note, that based on the ending, a sequel is almost certainly guaranteed.

Meanwhile the rest of us will go watch movies that don’t require a baseball bat to enjoy.

Max Payne topped the box office this week with W. trailing far behind and Beverly Hills Chihuahua just at the heels in third place. High School Musical 3: Senior Year opens this weekend with a huge audience base. The upbeat movie has a good chance of out dancing Payne to the top. We shall see come Sunday night.

October 17, 2008 - October 23, 2008(*millions)

The Max Payne movie, despite unanimously bad reviews, raked in some serious dough last week. Quite unsurprisingly, game designer Scott Miller, CEO of 3D Realms, who helped produce the game series, hates the film adaptation, stating that it has “several fundamental story flaws” which had him “shaking [his] head in bewilderment.”

Said Miller: "A big problem with the film is that we do not really know what is driving Max until we see the flashback scene. In the game, we put this scene right at the front of the story for a reason. Saving this scene until mid-film is a narrative blunder, because the audience needs to empathize with Max in order to like him and understand what drives him.”

He added that the other characters fell flat, too, with the character of the titular character himself falling short of the game series’ standards.

Max Payne ruled the box office weekend per the weekend estimate from Variety. Beverly Hills Chihuahua came in second followed by, my favorite, The Secret Life of Bees. Good ol’ W. came in fourth.

October 17, 2008 – October 19, 2008 (*millions)

1 Max Payne $18,000,000
2 Beverly Hills Chihuahua $11,200,000
3 Secret Life Of Bees, The $11,050,000
4 W. $10,550,000
5 Eagle Eye $7,343,000
6 Body Of Lies $6,880,000
7 Quarantine $6,300,000
8 Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist $3,900,000
9 Sex Drive $3,566,000
10 Nights In Rodanthe $2,680,000

20th Century Fox has provided a new Max Payne movie trailer at its official website. The film, based on the popular video game, opens October 17^th. The film stars Mark Wahlberg, Chris O’Donnell, Beau Bridges, Ludacris, Mila Kunis, Donal Logue, and Amaury Nolasco.

The updated site tells of a maverick cop determined to track down those responsible for the brutal murder of his family and partner. Hell-bent on vengeance, his obsessive investigation takes him on a nightmare journey into a dark underworld. As the mystery grows deeper, Max (Wahlberg) is forced to battle enemies beyond the natural world and face an unthinkable betrayal.

Shacknews reports that John Moore, director of Max Payne, has secured a PG-13 rating for the upcoming film adaptation of the action game. The film was initially rated R by the MPAA, which Moore strongly criticized in a rather vocal interview. He then had to “trim frames for the sake of trimming frames”, which helped the film get the audience-friendly PG-13 rating.

However, Moore also revealed that he is planning a “Gamer Dedicated Cut” of the film, which he notes will be a “little slower and a little more atmospheric.”

"There are some rougher edges on it, but it’s not going to be a bloodfest,” he revealed. “I want this to be the Max Payne that I set out to shoot. It’s not that I wanted to release one version in the theaters and make a cheap buck by following up with a blood-drenched DVD version.”

Moore adds that the theatrical and DVD cuts will be the same “intense” experience, with the latter having some features for people “who really adore the game.”

It has suddenly dawned on me that Comic Con is the cause of all these teaser posters. Comic Con in San Diego this weekend is promotional opportunity up the yin yang for all the production, distribution companies worldwide.

I mean, check these to Max Payne teaser posters. They are awesome and communicate the strength, dexterity and power this guy is capable. What do you think?

Another trailer came my way — Max Payne– based on the video game of the same title.  Mark Wahlberg stars in this movie. A very appropriate role for Wahlberg; he’s Max Payne. The action sequences are tour de force.  Beau Bridges also stars, which is a real treat for the audience because he is a very strong, confident actor.

Enjoy the trailer!

On /Film are some pictures from the set of Max Payne, the upcoming film adaptation of the slow-motion, bullet-dodging video game featuring the constipated titular police officer. The pictures show a wrecked car and the film crew standing around it, implying that there is going to be at least one car chase in the movie.

The film, starring Mark Wahlberg as the titular character, a former NYPD detective, who goes up against the Punchinello Mafia family. It is unknown if the film will carry the game series’ trademark slow-mo dives and other antics.