still-waitingWhat happens if you take a movie that was actually fairly good, take out all the A-list talent, replace it with a bunch of half-baked leftovers and a soupcon of hot chicks, then add in some of the lowest-tier scatological humor to date?  What you should get, unquestionably, is a lousy movie.  But what you get, almost in spite of its truly horrific components, is actually a fairly good movie with plenty of comedy and just enough drama to make you think.

We’re back to Shenaniganz this time around, and they’re in a real mess.  A new restauarant, Ta-Ta’s Wing Shack has opened up across the street from them, and it’s doing horrible things to the numbers at Shenaniganz.  And yet, it’s doing horrible things to the people who work there too.  And as we spend a night with the crews of Shenaniganz and Ta-Ta’s Wing Shack, we discover that they’ve all got a lot of things to think about in their lives, even as their worlds coincide occasionally.

It’s hard to say, with a movie like this, just where exactly you should begin talking about it.  I mean, there’s every reason that you should just blow it off and forget it even exists.  They’re so desperate for people to watch this dreck that they’re willing to include a Hooters knockoff.  That’s really very desperate when you get right down to it.

They lost their big-name talent–Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris are literally nowhere to be seen here.  Justin Long shows up for a good three minutes to take on the most bizarre role I’ve ever seen him play.   Meanwhile, they’ve kept all the dreck.  Oh, sure, I like Chi McBride and Luis Guzman as much as the next guy, but they aren’t exactly the kinds to hold up a movie.  Okay, maybe Chi McBride could if they’d just give him half a freaking chance but that’s neither here nor there.  I’d like it on record that I still do not find Andy Milonakis funny, despite the fact that he STILL looks like he’s twelve and yet he’s older THAN I AM.

But like I said–though the components here should have made this look like last week’s leftovers, it still manages to come off smelling like a rose.  The whole of the movie was actually worthwhile, with most of the jokes landing easily and pulling off their effect.  I loved when Chi McBride got in there and pulled that really great surprise twist on one of the waiters.  I liked how one of the Ta-Ta’s girls got this really great lecture from a stripper who had gone down virtually the same road that she was looking to go down, and yet she got entirely the wrong point.

And I’m still vaguely mystified by the whole “women love assholes” concept. Trust me, they’ll be harping on this all throughout the movie.

There are lessons to be learned here–perhaps the biggest is to never be too unpleasant with the people who handle your food, because there will be revenge and it will be highly unpleasant. Oh, and stick around past the credits, even if you have to fast forward through Andy Milonakis’ horrible rap song.  Trust me, it’s worth it.

Strangely, that’s all you can really say about Still Waiting.  It’s not the best dish on the menu, by far.  But it’s not really that unpleasant, either.  It’s probably a better rental than anything.

Popularity: 1% [?]

200px-fightingposterYou may have never heard of Channing Tatum, but you’ll be fairly surprised by his big excursion into the big screen with the release of Fighting.

Channing will be playing Shawn MacArthur, as a young street hustler from the wilds of…Birmingham, Alabama.  Um, okay…anyway, he’s moved to New York, where he’s hawking ersatz Harry Potter books and occasionally discount umbrellas.  Anyway, while selling his ersatz Harry Potter books, he gets in rolling three-way fistfight that draws the notice of former brawler turned agent / hustler Harvey Boarden.  Harvey sees an opportunity in Shawn, and sets him up with a series of illegal underground bare-knuckle brawls, and Shawn steadily advances up through the ranks.  Eventually, he gets set up with the fight of his life as a face from his past surfaces—can he stand up and face his own past or will he get knocked out by the strife?

For those of you making comparisons to Fight Club, you’re not alone.  I got about fifteen minutes into this thing when I wound up saying that this was all just a huge Fight Club knockoff that had been heavily dumbed-down and stripped of all its pedagogery.  Yeah, there aren’t any rants here about sleepless nights and IKEA and materialism—just guys beating the crap out of each other and the occasional appearance of hot chicks.

Yes, this is very much a guy movie.  Chances are you could probably talk your girlfriend into seeing it by virtue of mentioning Channing Tatum, but aside from that, total guy movie.

Now, if you go in expecting very, very little, then chances are good that you won’t be disappointed with this movie.  If you expect, say, a rousing brawl or maybe a little romance or an empty-headed good time, then you’re definitely going to get what you’re after.  But if you want strong, well-developed characters or important, valuable life lessons, then forget it—this little fluff muffin of a movie is never going to supply any of that.  This sucker’s about as worthwhile and consequential as a ball of pocket lint.

This isn’t to say it’s a bad movie—it does what it sets out to do, in that it entertains you with tons of fistfights and such, and there’s a little bit of growth and character development.  It’s never going to be mistaken for high art, but it’s not really unpleasant to watch, either.  The storyline’s thin as skin on gravy, but everything that should be there is.  I’m not going to suggest you run out to the theatre and catch this—you can definitely wait for video even if you really LOVE a movie with plenty of fistfights—but if you go against my suggestion and see it anyway, you’ll have a pretty fair time as long as you go in with eyes wide open about just what it is you’re walking into.

In fact, words like “pedestrian”, “average” and “mediocre” were invented just for this kind of potboiler action / romance / drama.  There’s not much to this one, but what’s there isn’t necessarily bad.  It’ll be worth a look if you get a cheap matinee or wait for video.

Popularity: 1% [?]

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Columbia Pictures (Sony) offers viewers another movie worth watching in “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3” The film carries a star-studded cast led by Denzel Washington and John Travolta. The upcoming movie set to be released on June 12, 2009 also stars James Gandolfini, the main star who plays mob boss Tony Soprano on HBO’s The Sopranos.

In the film, Washington plays New York City subway dispatcher Walter Garber, whose ordinary day is thrown into chaos by an audacious crime: the hijacking of a subway train. Travolta stars as Ryder, the criminal mastermind who, as leader of a highly-armed gang of four, threatens to execute the train’s passengers unless a large ransom is paid within one hour. As the tension mounts beneath his feet, Garber employs his vast knowledge of the subway system in a battle to outwit Ryder and save the hostages. But there’s one riddle Garber can’t solve: even if the thieves get the money, how can they possibly escape?

The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 trailer in HD

Popularity: 1% [?]