Screenhead

It’s probably about time we got a few more amateur Saw parodies.  The franchise is indeed rife with possibilities, and today, we tackle Saw XIV, or, The One Where Saw Constantly Screws Up.

The title basically gives away the premise and the plot–Jigsaw’s death traps (now Hoffman’s death traps) have always been mechanically complex wonders of amateur engineering.  But what would happen if those darn death traps just wouldn’t work right?

They’ve got a really good point, actually.  All this stuff is incredibly complex–I mean, just one slipped gear or misfired sparkplug and the next thing you know, blammo! No death trap.

And the best part is, this is actually really funny.  Though as it turns out, it’s not alone.  Just because I hadn’t heard of them before, apparently there are a LOT of Saw parodies out there.

The downside here is that the movie was made clearly by people who either didn’t see the Saw series or didn’t watch much of it, as they’re continually referring to Jigsaw as “Saw”, not to mention dressing him up like Little Billy, when we really should be seeing either Jigsaw himself or the “replacement” Jigsaw that is Detective Hoffman.

Anyway, the Screenhead Ten Scale just wiped away a tear of hilarious laughter and hands Saw XIV a seven out of ten. Admittedly, it’s low budget, and they clearly only have a loose idea of what they’re parodying, but the comedy more than makes up for the lack of effects work.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Well, this is it, kids.  Today the last week comes together in a magnificent culmination of lights, sound, screaming, and oh yes…there will be blood.

Today we’re talking Saw VI, most recent in the franchise, and ironically, by a large scale, BEST of the franchise.

With Jigsaw, Amanda, and Agent Strahm all pushing up daisies, the only one left to run Jigsaw’s grand games is none other than Detective Hoffman.  But is Hoffman nearly as alone as we think?  Someone else is waiting in the wings–someone else with a vested interest in executing Jigsaw’s final will.  Will Hoffman be able to run the games?  Or will Hoffman’s test leave him without a piece on the board?

I’ll be honest with you, I had big expectations for this one going in.  REALLY big.  One, Saw V was my personal favorite of the series thus far for the massive supergame it ran instead of branching off into smaller games or leaving one person mostly unscathed.  Two, it was directed by Kevin Greutert, whose short film Old Friends we reviewed here a while back.  Old Friends was an awesome piece of filmmaking that really left me on the edge of my computer chair (only place you could see it was YouTube), so hearing that he’d be running Saw VI left me pretty excited.

And sure enough, I enjoyed this one.  For those concerned that this would be a tired rehash of earlier events, no sir.  Saw has one great tendency to build up and kick off something that’ll need a whole new movie to resolve.  There’s more loose ends in here than a telephone switchboard, and it’s small wonder it looks to make nine before it finally ends.

Saw also has one truly ANNOYING tendency, too, and that’s to add details to its earlier canon as it sees fit, despite the fact that there’s no real indication that they ever should have happened.  For instance, when you find out who was with Cecil the night Jill lost her baby, you’ll probably wonder how the hell that actually could have happened, because nothing like that seemed to go on when we actually SAW it happening before.

But there will be something here for all the old fans–the traps we know and love are as awesome as ever–remember the automatic revolver in two?  They kind of did that here…only with a twelve-gauge.  There will be more blood than ever–this is probably why it’s rated like PORN in Spain.  Plus, they’ve kicked off one very important plot detail in the last three minutes of the movie that has me positively drooling over Saw VII.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, meanwhile, is patently blown away, but bothered by the series’ incredible propensity to cheat at every given opportunity.  It therefore hands over a full on eight out of ten for being probably the best Saw yet, both for what it does now and what it kicks off for the next.  We can only hope the remaining entries can live up to this kind of hype.

Popularity: unranked [?]

There’s a scene in Dumb and Dumber that explains my entire outlook on Saw V.  I’ve included it below.

Basically, it’s Lloyd pulling up to Harry on a scooter that he explains he traded, straight up, for their old van.  Harry looks at Lloyd and says, “Just when I think you couldn’t be any dumber, you go and do something like this… AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!”

That’s exactly how I feel about Saw V.  Just when I thought they couldn’t make a movie any dumber, they went and did something like this, and totally redeemed themselves.

Saw V puts is back in that grand old world where Jigsaw is dead but his copycats continue.  With Detective Hoffman now clearly in charge and pretty much the only possible successor to Jigsaw’s twisted legacy, the games continue as Agent Strahm tries to get to the bottom of the whole mess.  And the mess carries on as a kind of super-game takes place for five interconnected people who all have something in common…and a whole lot to lose.

Yes, Saw V is so laden with flashbacks it almost makes no sense.  Trying to figure out how Detective Hoffman got the necessary amateur engineering skills to build his own Jigsaw traps is a little outlandish at best–skills like that don’t just show up overnight; they’re the result of years of study and practice.  But still, it’s downright entertaining to watch Hoffman’s evolution from detective to Jigsaw-lite.

The concept of the super-game is another winner–never before has Saw been so devoted to one single game.  Saw IV came close, but even that was a series of games within one game involving different people each time, not the same set of people.  And the twist ending is still well in evidence and came literally out of nowhere, but only in retrospect is it made clear.

The Screenhead Ten Scale hands the best film in the series an eight out of ten, and hopes that future versions will be anywhere near as good.

Popularity: 1% [?]

When I first heard that there was to be a Saw IV, I felt a kind of trembly panic deep in my gut.  I had enjoyed the Saw series, of course, but I had thought that the trilogy aspect of it was just fine.  Especially given the ending of Saw III, in which large chunks of the main cast had gone the way of the dodo, it was going to be a tricky proposition to get everybody back in the game.

How would they address this question?  How would they carry on?

I have no idea.  I don’t think THEY even knew.

Saw IV shows us, firsthand, that Jigsaw couldn’t be more dead.  So very dead, in fact, that he’s on an autopsy table.  But when they do the Y-cut, they discover, deep inside his stomach, a Play Me cassette sealed in candle wax.  Now, Sergeant Rigg is up to bat, working his way through (almost like the innocent bystander of the third installment) a series of games in which he is only peripherally involved in a bid to rescue a kidnapped Detective Hoffman and Detective Matthews from one of Jigsaw’s games.

But Jigsaw’s…dead…

You can see the problem here.  In order to counter it, they’re going to engage in a baffling series of flashbacks and other associated plot mechanics, to try and tell a story of how a serial killer can somehow live on through his copycats.

You could almost smell the desperation in this one.  They were trying, valiantly, to set something up here, and the problem is, it just plain old didn’t WORK.  The narrative was left confused, and trying to bring in Jigsaw’s menace without Jigsaw was a wasted effort.

The Screenhead Ten Scale scoffs at this pathetic installment and gives it an all too appropriate four out of ten.  It wasn’t unwatchable, but it was the worst installment in the entire series.

Popularity: unranked [?]

As a special treat for you all this week, I’m going to be tackling every film in the Saw franchise, including TWO installments on Thursday leading up to the big premiere of Saw VI this Friday, so strap yourselves in, because this is a long, strange journey with lots of odd bumps.

Saw brings us face to face with the Jigsaw Killer, a man who’s convinced that large portions of humanity don’t deserve to live.  But rather than take their lives out from under them directly, he’s going to play a game.  And in the process, he’s going to either force people to prove their worth to his satisfaction, or they’ll die, in which case, no great loss.  This time, we meet several of Jigsaw’s game players, and watch as they follow each of their games to its inevitable end.

The first thing you have to remember here is that, amazingly, this movie is FIVE YEARS OLD.  Yes, it’s almost ready for kindergarten by now, and frankly, it’s starting to show.  I’d always thought of 2004 as a real canker sore of a year, and the movies released therein weren’t much better.  Saw was, admittedly, one of the high points of 2004, but it’s true that moviemaking in general and specifically the Saw franchise has come a long way in terms of looks.

This is, however, the one that started it all, and thus it holds something of a special place.  When it was first released, it represented a novel idea and thus captured the imagination of most of the country.  Admittedly, the wheels have started to come off since, and Saw is showing its age, but it still packs in plenty of good quality twists and scares, especially if you haven’t seen this one yet.

The Screenhead Ten Scale looks at this venerable old title that’s starting to show its age and gives some respect to this creepy, ominous tale that started a movement by handing over a seven out of ten.  There’s plenty to like here, and there’ll be plenty to like in the events to follow.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Another puzzle has surfaced for Saw VI! Put together the pieces and get an exclusive peek at the film!  The horrific movie opens October 23, 2009.

Popularity: 1% [?]

The terrifying world of  SAW will be transformed into a haunted house featuring iconic scenes from the films such as Jigsaw’s lair and the tomb-like bathroom.  Guests will come face to face with Jigsaw and also watch as his victims struggle to try and win at his game. 

Halloween Horror Nights runs September 25-26, October 1-4, 8-11, 15-18, 21-25 and 28-31. For more information visit Halloween Horror Nights. You won’t catch me there!

Popularity: 1% [?]

For those of you around the Florida area, you may already be familiar with Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, a yearly bacchanal of horror in which the greatest of special effects wizardry comes together with hordes of live actors to create a great and scary event.

The initial word so far is that the old classics have been removed.  Freddy and Jason and Leatherface, who are actually still big and going today except for Leatherface, have been pulled in favor of things like a new set of games with Jigsaw.  Michael Myers, however, will also be involved probably thanks to the new if heavily flawed life he’s gotten through Rob Zombie’s godawful remakes.

I’m not a hundred percent sure I’m happy about this–a lack of respect for the classics is no sign of class, and it’s clear that there’s no respect for the classics here any more.  Chances are it’ll still turn out solidly–there’s more than enough fun to be had with the whole “Jigsaw’s game” venture to fill an amusement park of the darker variety.  But without the respect of the classics, well…the culture becomes tainted.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I just love motion posters.  Lionsgate is heavily promoting Saw VI, the latest motion poster proves it.  Little is know about the storyline, but the word is that Jigsaw and his disciples return in Saw VI on October 23, 2009.  Saw franchise editor Kevin Greutert directed from a script by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton. We are sure to hear more after Comic-Con.

(Source)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Want to scare your friends and family shitless? Then head on over to this site where you can send messages courtesy of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) to anyone via phone or email.

It’s one of the many different advertising campaigns Lionsgate is using to promote the coming fifth installment in the series. Saw 5 opens in theaters October 24.

Popularity: 1% [?]