Screenhead

I just received the one-sheet for The Spy Next Door starring Jackie Chan and Amber Valetta. However, yesterday you may have noticed that I posted the trailer for The Spy Next Door. I wanted to post the one-sheet as well, but had difficulty opening the file provided for the one-sheet. That said, I’m posting the a one-sheet now for you to enjoy.

The Spy Next Door hits theaters January 15, 2010! 

The story is about a spy (Chan) who is babysitting his neighbor’s children. He is a mild-mannered guy, who winds up having to fight off secret agents after one of the kids his is babysitting inadvertently downloads a secret code.

Jackie Chan’s The Spy Next Door seems silly and perhaps kids will love it.  You decide by watching the trailer. 

The story is about a spy, who is undercover in the US, babysitting his neighbor’s children. He is mild-mannered but winds up having to fight off secret agents after one of the kids inadvertently downloads a secret code. The film also stars the lovely Amber Valetta and funny men George Lopez and Billy Ray Cyrus. 

More information will come shortly about the story line with production stills. 

The Spy Next Door hits theaters on January 15, 2010!

Time to weep and sigh for Jackie Chan, folks, because the man’s career is not what it once was.  Even back around a year or so ago, when he was frantically telling anyone who’d listen that Chinese communism was the bee’s knees and that too much freedom is bad for people (okay, comrade, I said it–can you puh-leeese point the flamethrower AWAY from my baby’s head now?), it wasn’t doing very well except IN China.  Now, it’s even worse.

Apparently a trailer has just emerged for Jackie Chan’s upcoming slow head-shake of a role, The Spy Next Door.  Chan will be playing a secret agent stuck babysitting his neighbors’ kids for the night and at the same time fending off a horde of rival secret agents, hopefully without waking the babies.

I want to believe that this will be one of Chan’s excellent comedy / action fusions, but with a setup like that, and a career like his has been lately, I just can’t see it.

You’ve got to love this, folks–we thought Cash for Clunkers was bad, try the Chinese version: Moola For Movies.

If you’re over in China right now, and there’s a pretty good chance that if you actually ARE in China you’re not allowed by law to read this anyway, but if you’re in China right now, theatres are handing out nine hundred thousand passes  good for a discount to a “patriotic movie”.  These passes, however, are only good if you buy a ticket to a domestic movie first.

So buy a pass, get a discount to see another movie.  Frankly, I’ve seen some Chinese movies–Jet Li in the Once Upon A Time In China series is one of the better ones I’ve seen–and it’s really not that bad a prospect.  As deals go, this one’s really pretty sweet. Sound like a ripoff, you say?  Well, maybe…but I’ll tell you that the biggest film of 2009 in China stars Jet Li, Jackie Chan and Andy Lau…and it’s called The Great Cause of China’s Foundation.

That’s one of those “patriotic movies” they talked about.

Well, that’s it for Jet Li, at least for now.  I guess after a string of not so big movies, including the one where he FINALLY squared off against Jackie Chan, he was figuring it was time to move on to greener pastures.   And indeed he’s found them in the form of his home, China.

He’ll be heading back to star in a movie called Ocean Paradise, a movie that’s “very different from his previous movies”, so chances are, he won’t be doing a whole lot of kicking of much of anything in this one.  With a name like “Ocean Paradise”, for all I know, he might be a surfing instructor.

Okay, that’d be pretty cool, actually–think about it.  The Chinese version of Baywatch, with Jet Li as David Hasselhoff.  You get me the Chinese version of Pamela Lee and I’ll be all over it like three bums on a bottle of bourbon.

Sadly, this is almost certainly not the case, but when we find out more about this one, I’ll pass it right on to you.

For all of you out there who’ve wondered, debated, and otherwise obsessed over the idea of getting Jackie Chan and Jet Li together in the same movie, well, guess what, folks–this one’s for you. Especially if you ever wanted to watch the two of them fight, because they will, and it is awesome.

The Forbidden Kingdom brings together your two favorite martial arts action heroes in one handy package, but it also does more than that.  It’ll take a kung-fu movie buff and let him find one day, in a mystical pawn shop (for those of you who are already thinking Mogwai, NO, but don’t I wish?) , a STAFF.  But this is no ordinary staff…no sir.  This staff transports our martial arts buff back to what might well be Three Kingdoms-era China.  And when he gets there, he’s going to become part of a much greater war than he ever saw coming.  Now he’s going to have to use that staff to free–get this–the Monkey King.  And along the way, our kung-fu buff is going to learn something about himself, as is the standard for this sort of thing.

One, it’s absolutely SPECTACULAR to see Jackie Chan at least partially reprise one of his greatest roles ever as the Drunken Master.  He says he’s using Drunken Fist style,  but I’ll tell you this–the guy he plays fights better when he’s hammered, and that’s the modus operandi of the Drunken Master.

Two, while they’re plenty of spectacular action in this, there’s also plenty of great laughs.  Watching the Monkey King fight is just a riot, and Jackie Chan is, of course, one of the greatest action comics EVER.

There’s a lot to love here–you just got two points worth above–and there’s plenty more where those two came from.  Watching this is just downright amazing.  The immersion level is almost criminally high–it’s too good not to pay attention to.  The action, the comedy, the occasional drama…it’s just plain wonderful.

The Forbidden Kingdom may well be one of the best martial arts movies I’ve seen in quite some time, possibly ever.  Bringing together some of the greats in the industry like this is no small feat, and giving them a sweet storyline to work within is even better.  They’ll even manage to pack in a whole slew of surprises.  Frankly, watching Jackie Chan duke it out with Jet Li was easily the biggest one of the bunch, and the best part is, that’s only the beginning.  Pay careful attention to the dual roles–that’s a REALLY big one.

The effects are spectacular, riots of color and light shows for days, the music is tailor made, the performances are just spot-on and I really don’t believe that I can say enough about this movie.  It’s great fun and seemingly without flaw, at least without any flaw that I could spot.

At it’s root, The Forbidden Kingdom is just great martial-arts movie fun.  If you’ve enjoyed pretty much anything Jackie Chan or Jet Li have done, from Drunken Master to Wong Fei Hung, then you’re going to get as big a bang out of this as I did.  The Screenhead Ten Scale knows a good thing when it sees it, and hands out its first ever ten out of ten.  It’s just entirely too good to not.

Jackie Chan is by no means a popular figure in Hollywood now. But while he has worked his way towards the hearts of American admirers, it looks like some comments have made him the black sheep in his own land.

The controversy all started when Jackie Chan said that “China may need to be controlled” for now. On freedom, he said he is uncertain if it should be given at this point. Apparently he was referring to guidance to which decision-making in China may sorely be lacking.

“I’m not sure if it’s good to have freedom or not,” Chan said Saturday. “I’m gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to be controlled. If we’re not being controlled, we’ll just do what we want.”

He went on to say that freedoms in Hong Kong and Taiwan made those societies “chaotic.” Chan’s comments drew applause from a predominantly Chinese audience of business leaders, but did not sit well with lawmakers in Taiwan and Hong Kong.

“He’s insulted the Chinese people. Chinese people aren’t pets,” Hong Kong pro-democracy legislator Leung Kwok-hung told The Associated Press. “Chinese society needs a democratic system to protect human rights and rule of law.”

(Source) AFP

The subgenre of kung fu action film has had a lot of strange variants over the years.  Whether it’s the historical fiction of Once Upon A Time In China or the mock-drunken antics of Jackie Chan in the various Drunken Masters, or even the strange Mystery Science Theatre-esque strangeness of Kung Pow: Enter The Fist.

But possibly even more bizarre than even Steve Oedekerk’s tongue-laden vision of kung fu is the anthropomorphic animal concept advanced by Kung Fu Panda.

Featuring Jack Black as a fat, lazy fanboy panda working in a noodle shop, Kung Fu Panda offers up the Valley of Peace in the midst of a problem.  Seems one of the greatest kung fu masters the valley has ever known has just broken out of the deep mountain prison he’s been stored in and he’s on his way back to the valley for revenge against one of the kung fu masters still living there—his original teacher.  Left with little option, as the master in question is still powerful, but aging and possibly no longer a match for the fearsome rogue master, the search begins for the legendary Dragon Warrior, a supreme kung fu master who will restore peace to the valley.  But the Dragon Warrior is, not surprisingly, not exactly who we expect it to be.

They sort of gave that particular chunk of the plot away in the title itself—it’s Kung Fu Panda, for crying out loud.  If the Panda doesn’t learn Kung Fu at some point the title really is sort of nonsense, now isn’t it?  But, okay—we’re not exactly here for that sort of thing.  Most of us are here to watch Jack Black do voice acting for a tubby lazy fanboy panda, because this is the kind of thing that Jack Black’s been playing all along, except not quite so hairy.

Seriously—if you stop and think about it there’s not much difference between the panda and Dewey Finn and JB from Tenacious D. Sure, the panda will never pick up a guitar, but kung fu is this panda’s guitar, and Black puts the same basic spirit behind the panda’s love as he did into his guitarist characters’ love.

Meanwhile, the plot itself is at least fairly entertaining, and for those who shy away from animated fare believing it “just for kids” are missing out on a pretty surprising treat.  If it weren’t for the animated animals, this might well have been a fairly solid kung fu picture.  Frankly, we don’t get a whole lot of those these days—the last one I remember was Kung Fu Hustle, and that was four years ago this April.

It’s nice to get some new kung fu that we don’t have to import; the subgenre is sorely underserved, and in this days of more-of-the-same you’d think more places would go back to the kung fu epic to get some fast cash.  The lack of titles lately is deeply surprising, but one thing is true.  Kung Fu Panda was not half bad, and definitely worth a couple hours to see.

Buddy Garret is the winner of the Screenhead Supercop giveaway.

Supercop is a Dragon Dynasty label; another high-flying action packed adventure starring Jackie Chan. Supercop arrives onto DVD shelves in a two disc ultimate edition January 13, 2009 from The Weinstein Company and Genius Products.  

Supercop tells the adrenaline-fueled story of a Hong Kong police officer who teams with a beautiful but “by the book” agent in order to bring down the region’s most notorious and merciless drug cartel.  Going undercover as siblings, the unlikely duo must utilize use their explosive kung fu skills and resourcefulness to dissolve the infamous syndicate. 

Supercop features the legendary kung fu master, Jackie Chan (The Forbidden Kingdom, Rush Hour) and Michelle Yeoh (The Mummy 3, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon), and co-stars Maggie Cheung (Jet Li’s Hero).  The martial arts movie is directed by Stanley Tong (Mr. Magoo).

Jackie Chan is close to mentoring Jaden Smith in The Karate Kid.  I think this is a great ploy for the remake.  I enjoy Jackie Chan and believe that he can pull this performance to the top if he takes the role seriously.  

The martial arts star is in discussions to star in Columbia’s remake of The Karate Kid. He would take on the role of mentor Mr. Miyagi, made renowned by Pat Morita in the original franchise.

Harald Zwart is set to direct the picture, which might start shooting this year in Beijing.

According to Hollywood Reporter, Jaden Smith is set to star as the boy to be mentored by Chan’s character. Like the original, which starred Morita and Ralph Macchio, the movie will examine the relationship between a martial arts expert and a boy who is picked on by bullies.