Oh, my heart is heavy, fellow movie buffs. The fact that there even is a Monopoly movie to talk to you about today makes me vaguely resentful of the whole entertainment industry. But the plot has recently come to light, and one thing’s for sure…the whole thing is about as outlandish as possible.
So without further carping on my part, here it is–the plotline of Monopoly, the movie:
There’s a guy in Manhattan, he’s a real estate agent. He hates his job, but he just can’t get enough Monopoly. Which is a little bit ironic but kind of stupid because Monopoly has about as much to do with real estate as Life has to do with, well, life.
Our real estate guy then decides he’s going to go for the world’s longest Monopoly jag, and he brings his buddies along to challenge the record. From there, they get in a fight about a girl Captain Monopoly likes and the hero storms off. The next morning, he wakes up in Monopoly City with a stack of multicolored money and a Chance card in his hand.
And for some reason, now that he’s in Monopoly City, he’s got to defeat the evil Parker Brothers and get back home.
No, seriously. That’s the plot. I’m horrified. And scandalized, frankly–this is just ludicrous in the extreme, and worse yet, apparently Ridley Scott is STILL attached to direct. This might well be a train wreck on par with absolutely ANYTHING we’ve ever seen before.
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No, seriously–aliens. Yes, I find myself just as horrified to pass on this newsy bit to you, but apparently the film remake of the Hasbro board game will actively involve ALIENS.
Now, there’s no real word in what SENSE aliens are involved in this one, whether they come down to earth to join in some naval warfare or the whole thing’s suddenly a science fiction movie (which, admittedly, is at least kind of cool–we don’t get a whole lot of movies that feature space opera elements), but that’s the last word–that aliens were involved.
On the one hand, it’s not like I was expecting all that much out of the Battleship movie to begin with. It’s a movie about a board game. How much COULD it do? But I do have some high hopes–we could get something really impressive out of this. Think Wing Commander, only, you know, good.
We’ll have a long wait to find out, though, and hopefully when we do, it’ll turn out for the best.
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A new piece of interactive content has been released to coincide with the launch of the brand new movie, The Ugly Truth.
The “Manslator” game lets women know what a guy is really thinking, by revealing the true message behind his comment.
Be warned, the truth can be ugly! Therefore, the Manslator game is only recommended for ladies aged 18 or over!
Being a lady, I tried it and had fun, although I wish I could play the game in person with Gerard.
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Entertainment Weekly’s EW.com has an exclusive first look at the trailer for the upcoming game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed which will be shipping in the United States on September 16, 2008. The launch trailer will delve more deeply into its storyline, and contains never-before-seen scenes from the game. I just viewed it and it draws you into the story. Check it out. For more information about the game go to LucasArts.
Remember to play wisely not all day!
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