The_colony_title_cardYou know, I really hate TV.  I hate it about the same way I hate, say, Hitler, but more often.  But even I’ve got to admit that there are some good shows on every so often, and when they show up I should talk about them.  So today, you get a TV recap–huzzah!  And today, I’m going to talk about a little show on Discovery Channel (where most of the good shows on TV seem to be migrating these days) called The Colony.

It’s about to have its season finale within the next couple days, so if you get an opportunity to reacquaint yourself (or possibly acquaint for the first time) this really awesome show, take the chance.  See, it’s a really nifty idea for a reality show (and I know reality TV is about eighty percent crap but this qualifies as non-crap) in which about a dozen people from all walks of life are brought together to live in a dilapidated warehouse somewhere in L.A.  Why are they living in a warehouse?  Because it’s the end of the world.

The Colony assumes that the civilized world has finally gone the way of the dodo, whether by nuclear devastation or superflu or whatever (they really don’t say nor do they need to; dystopia comes in many flavors even if they all taste vaguely similar), and left only a handful of people alive.  From there, a group of survivors band together and try to recreate civilization, if only in pocket fashion.  But after some tense encounters with marauders and other hazards, the survivors start to look outside L.A. for places to go.

The great thing about The Colony isn’t so much that it’s accurate (I mean, come on–they’re living in a warehouse and some of these marauders have guns.  But no one ever uses them.) but that it’s a possibility.  There are some really novel ideas in here; I had no idea that wood gave off flammable vapor when heated–I just knew that wood burned.  You will learn a lot while watching this, make no mistake, and even if you don’t learn everything you could, there’ll still be something new and interesting here.  The fact that I can use the words “new and interesting” in connection with a TV show is as unsettling as it is exciting, and that’s a good way to describe The Colony.  Get in touch with this one while you still can–season finale is next week.

Popularity: 1% [?]

shark-week-20thFor those of you already familiar with the Discovery Channel’s programming, what I’m about to say will be no surprise for you.  Coming up on the order of soon is the newest iteration of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, a week of shows devoted almost exclusively to those misunderstood terrors of the deep blue, sharks.  For those of you not familiar with this, it’s an absolutely amazing block of shows–some are purely shark-oriented, and others are special episodes of current Discovery Channel shows like Mythbusters that deal with shark facts and other shark phenomenon.

Thus, I’m all sorts of happy to offer up for you, ahead of the newest iteration of Shark Week, Discovery Channel’s Shark Week: 20th Anniversary Collection.

Shark Week: 20th Anniversary Collection is a monster four-disc compendium of episodes of Shark Week.  Containing three to four episodes of various Discovery Channel programs per disc, each covering any of a number of shark-related issues, the whole set is contained inside a box with a holographic cover that basically looks a lot like a shark attack.  Seriously–the shark essentially “swims in” from the left side of the box art and grows larger as it moves toward the right side of the box.

I’ll be honest with you up front–if you have even the VAGUEST interest in sharks, this is just the box set for you.  Prehistoric sharks, shark attack survivors, the shark attack rescue squads…pretty much everything you could ever want to know, or ever imagined you could know about sharks is right here.

It also serves as an excellent introductory guide to the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week.  If you want to learn, before you go in, just what this week is like, lay your hands on a copy of this fantastic box set.  We’re talking about approximately ELEVEN HOURS of footage.  That’s right.  Nearly half a day of footage comes in this tiny little box set.  Can you imagine that?  Sit around for half a day watching footage about sharks!

But it’s not just sharks, though.  It’s also some absolutely incredible visuals.  Let me put it this way:  sharks don’t live in the Arctic.  You’re probably not going to see a lot of sharks in Maine, or bombing around Boston Harbor.  So what you’ll get is an offhand look at some really fantastic beaches from all around the world.  Australian, Floridian, Hawaiian…you’ll see it in grand style and often with incredible overhead views.  Even better, you’ll get to go underwater, swimming with those sharks and the assorted other fish that live around them.

It’s downright spectacular, shot in a grand documentary style that feels so real and authentic that it can’t be easily ignored.  It’s great TV, packaged for easy use on DVD, and whether you already enjoy Shark Week or have never seen it, you’re going to fall in love with this DVD package.

Discovery Channel’s Shark Week: 20th Anniversary Collection nets a seven out of ten from the Screenhead Ten Scale for being a magnificently in-depth package about something not everyone may be interested in, despite the fact that it tries its best to capture everyone’s attention.

Popularity: unranked [?]

a-haunting-in-connecticutWith the all too imminent release of A Haunting In Connecticut to DVD mere hours away, it’s interesting to note that the movie is indeed based on a true story.  Said true story was documented in the popular Discovery Channel TV series A Haunting, specifically, an unusually large ninety-four minute version that, for this series, likely meant it was split in two parts to accommodate the commercial break.

But is it any good?  Was it even necessary?  Can it possibly compete with the added force of the Hollywood wizardry the theatrical release brought to bear?  That’s what we’re taking a look at today.

When Karen and Ed Parker move into their new home, in order to help take care of their cancer-stricken son, they find that their new house has a whole lot of history to it…and none of it good.  But when the Parker family decides to stand and fight, they’re going to be taking a force of serious evil, and all they’ll have to fight with is their faith, a priest serving as exorcist, and that always-controversial of paranormal investigator teams, Ed and Lorraine Warren, the same duo who took on the Amityville haunting.

Anyone who’s seen the show A Haunting already knows what the format is like–part dramatization, part interview with the actual participants, and always present is the gravelly voice of the narrator. But for those of you who haven’t seen this show yet, man, you don’t know what you’re missing.  This is the SCARIEST kind of horror you’re going to see.  Why?  It doesn’t depend on blood or obscenity or anything else.  What it depends upon instead is the random juxtaposition of the mundane and the insane.  They’ll start out wiht something quiet and simple, like a little girl playing with her dolls, then they’ll let something flash by, almost too quick to be noticed.  Almost.

Then you find out what that something is, and man, you almost wish you hadn’t found out after all.

They are going to do things that you never thought were possible within the confines of a normal everyday television show–they’re going to scare you.  Why?  Because this show is the absolute unquestioned master of creating forboding, ominous environments.  They will SCARE YOU by virtue of creating an atmosphere of utter dread.  They will frighten you to no end, and you will enjoy it.

I’m stunned to report that, after having seen the theatrical version, and having seen THIS version, that there can be no doubt.  This version is wildly, WILDLY scarier.  Not to mention wildly, WILDLY superior.  It amazes me to no end to tell you that an episode of a pseudo-documentary television show can pack more punch than a theatrical release movie, but it is what it is.

I have little doubt that you’ll be patently amazed by what you see here, and cheerfully recommend it to you.  Enjoy to your heart’s content, because this sucker’s spectacularly freaky.

A Haunting In Connecticut is so spectacularly freaky, in fact, that it gets a full nine out of ten, with only its inherent limitations holding it back from true perfection.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Popularity: unranked [?]