Screenhead

If you’ve followed the career of Jerry Bruckheimer, you know he’s not exactly the type of guy to, say, stand around waiting for something to happen.  The guy’s career is downright massive, and widely varied.  But something he’s been trying to do for nearly two decades now is finally about to come to pass–he’s working on converting the novel Apaches into a movie.

This particular quest has left a whole lot of poeple downright stymied, but Bruckheimer’s got the chops if anyone does.  See, the novel itself is about a bunch of cops who go rogue and pull some serious vigilante time.  Cops make great vigilantes because they have a pretty good understanding of the law and police procedure, you see.

Hopefully, this is the time that Bruckheimer manages to pull it off, because Apaches sounds like it could be a pretty awesome title, once they get everything worked out.

I thought that, when I first read this, either I had lost my mind or my wayward past had finally caught up with me.  But no…no such luck.  I was indeed reading about how Diablo “Gibberish? What Gibberish?” Cody was actually planning to stage a movie adaptation of the Sweet Valley High series of books.

For those of you not already in the know, and I only remember these because an old friend read these voraciously throughout much of high school (and if you happen to be reading this, hello Stephanie, and I hope you actually READ that copy of The Prince I gave you for graduation.), the Sweet Valley series revolved around Californian twins the Wakefields, who proceeded to engage in a pathologically ridiculous number of soap opera plots including lots of backstabbing and clandestine romances but an unsettlingly low number of chainsaw killings.  At the time, of course, I lamented that last and often got kicked in the shins for my opinion.

Early reports peg Cody as saying that her Sweet Valley movies will include the following: “Sharp comedy/satire, plenty of “sincere” SVH moments too. No werewolves. Plenty of Todd.”

Well, so much for the chainsaw killings….

So here’s a nifty bit of news for you–guess who’s on the short list to try the Bilbo Baggins role for the upcoming Hobbit movie.  And even more interestingly, guess who turned it down?  Both questions have the same answer: none other than Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe.

And while I DO think he would’ve made a pretty sweet Bilbo, I can’t help but not be disappointed (factor out the negatives–it works) that he didn’t sign on.  Oh, sure, he would’ve handled it well, and I can understand him not wanting to be typecast in fantasy roles (which is probably why he showed up nude in Equus), but I really do think there’s better out there.  Significantly better, in fact.  James McAvoy has already been suggested, and I’m all in favor of that.  Frankly, if it weren’t so obvious, I’d think Elijah Wood handled Frodo just fine–why not let him take a run at the younger Bilbo?

But regardless of who actually takes the role, you know they’re probably going to be the subject of huge discussion in the fan community, because this is just too big to leave in just anyone’s lap, and chances are, someone won’t like the end choice.

It may not surprise many of you to realize, as I sit here at the depths of three in the morning writing this up, having braved the terrors of a quite thoroughly packed 12:01 showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, that I had something of a crisis of conscience writing this one up.

After all, I said to my screen, balefully, and sucking back a cup of hot green and white fusion tea against whatever diseases the numerous little hellions that were in that theatre were carrying, was there anyone out there who was going to actually NEED this movie reviewed for them?  Surely pretty much everybody has already made their decision–most of the people planning to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince had likely bought their tickets weeks prior, and those without plan to see it refuse to do so on religious grounds, convinced quite thoroughly that Harry Potter is enslaving the youth of America and pushing them down a dark path of satanic witchcraft, wicca, and voting Democrat.

Anyway, the plot: Harry’s back for yet another year at Hogwart’s, learning all about potions and wands and assorted mystical hoodoo whatnot.  Meanwhile, the vague creeping evil that is Lord Voldemort still pretty much refuses to show itself except through his minions.  This time, not only does Harry and company have to defend the school and its inhabitants from the advances of the dark lord, but they’ll also deal with all those typical teenage things like crushes, fending off aggressive suitors, and countering the occasional misdirected love potion.  Describing the plot in much more than these vague terms would require massive spoilers, because this plot is very much dependent on its specifics.

I’m rather convinced Harry’s going for his master’s or something because he’s been there several years.  Even the characters are getting a little bored of it–there’s one really great sequence where one of the teachers (I think it’s McGonagall but no one mentioned names much) gave an exasperated sigh and asked, why, whenever something horrible happens, you three (meaning Harry, Ron and Hermione) are always involved.  Imagine my shock when I muttered virtually the same line that Ron gave back, saying that they’ve wondered the exact same thing.

Well, Ron, buddy–so does the audience.

I personally have several problems with this movie, especially as it relates backward through the canon (for instance, why does Harry never use that expecto petronum or whatever any more?  Does it only work on Dementors? You’d figure if you’ve got this really uber spell you’d actually bust it out on occasion, especially when you’re in a fight as Harry seems to be every twenty minutes or so.).  But chances are my problems simply stem from the fact that I’m going in cold on this, having never read the books.

However, the critical fact remains–this is not really a bad movie, but rather, this is a movie that preaches only to the choir.  If you’re not already enamored with Harry Potter and his world, chances are you never will be.  There are few fence-sitters here, and so, you’re either desperate to see it or desperate to avoid coming in contact with it.

So what does it get on the ten-scale?  Easy.  A seven out of ten.  It’s beautiful, the environments are great, the actors are at least tolerable even if the plot, much like the lost continent of Atlantis, no longer appears on any map.  For that handful of you undecided, it’s worth a shot.

I just love this poster; it says it all.  It’s all warm and fuzzy. It makes me feel like I just want to have fun and run with adventure. You’ll like the trailer even more, click here.

Steven Soderbergh is taking a serious look at directing Moneyball, the Columbia Pictures adaptation of Michael Lewis’ book “Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game.”

The book follows Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland Athletics,  who used a complex computer analysis system to assemble a competitive baseball team even though Oakland lacked the revenues to build a great team in hopes of making it to the  World Series.

Brad Pitt, who has worked with Soderbergh in the Ocean films, has been showing an interest in Moneyball since last year.

Variety reports that Soderbergh has always wanted to make a sports film and sparked to the opportunity to reteam with Pitt. Soderbergh is looking to make the picture his next directing assignment.

Brigitte Lacombe new book, “Lacombe Anima/Persona,” offers a glimpse of Hollywood. The cool and serious portraiture, featuring images of everyone from Meryl Streep, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Miuccia Prada to a mix of well-known writers, artists, scientists, politicians, and more.

Vanity Fair showcases the book online — encompassing Lacombe’s 30-plus years behind the lens.

The above picture is Don Johnson and Melanie Griffth in 1975.

On the wave of success of Iron Man and the anticipation of Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey, Jr. is set to star in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes.

After reading the script by Anthony Peckham, Downey committed to the film. Filming begins in October.

Downey will make a great Sherlock Holmes.  I thought he was fantastic as Charlie Chaplin in his characterization and physical changes, which will add a lot to Holmes.

From what I have seen in Tropic Thunder trailers and film clips Downey hits the mark as a white man playing a soul man in black skin.

Sherlock Holmes will be based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic tales, but also the comic book “Sherlock Holmes.”

The political biopic “The Prince of Providence” may gain Robin Williams to join Dermot Mulroney, Adam Goldberg, Bradley Cooper, Ed Burns and Oliver Platt. Williams might play charismatic and corrupt Providence, R.I., Mayor Vincent “Buddy” Cianci. Scheduling is the big button on whether Williams will participate.  

David Mamet adapted the script by Michael Stanton’s book concerning the man who dominated Providence’s political machine for 21 years. The drama chronicles a roller-coaster series of ups and downs for one of America’s longest-serving mayors. Howard Korder helped polish the script.