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Riddle me this…riddle me that…who’ll never show up in a movie about the Bat?

Simple answer: Dane Cook.  Long answer: the same but it involves numerous non-work safe expletives, a brief seizure and cries about “any justice in the world”.

But that hasn’t stopped the thoroughly unfunny comedian from trying!  He’s apparently trying to get his foot in the door of one of the Batman movies to try his hand at playing The Riddler, a concept that Jim Carrey pretty much destroyed for all time with HIS portrayal of same.

When asked how Cook would play such a role, possibly in sheer disbelief that the moron would even suggest such a sacrilege, Cook said that he’d play it like “The Crow…only more comedic”.

Like that putz even knows what comedy IS.  Look, you want comedy?  Go get Denis Leary. He’d make a sweet Riddler.  Have some fun with it–get Gabriel Iglesias.  A fluffy Riddler would be awesome. They could let out one of Matthew Lesko’s suits and we’d be off to the races!

Don’t worry, though, folks–as long as Chris Nolan’s in charge I doubt you’ll ever see Dane Cook in a Batman movie.

No, seriously.  Really.   I don’t even know where you people get these rumors.

I’m faking that last bit of indignation, because frankly, I don’t know where it came from myself.  I hadn’t even heard Depp might possibly have been up for a role in the first place, and now I’ve got negative confirmation on it.  Well, I guess it could be worse…in fact, you know what?  Let’s  MAKE it worse.  Let’s take a run at our OWN outlandish Batman rumors.  How about:

The next Batman villain will be the Clock King, and he will be played by Wallace Shawn. That freaks me out just thinking about it, because a. Wallace Shawn would totally nail the part and b. no one cares about the Clock King in the first place.

Christian Bale out, Viggo Mortenson in. That one also gives me the creeps because it’s so very plausible.  But seriously, at this point, does anyone think they’re going to change horses midstream?

The next Batman installment will be a cartoon, and all the actors will be strictly voice actors.  Oh, come on–like that couldn’t happen?  They’d save vast quantities of money and still make huge bank opening weekend.  They could have Christian Bale stare at the walls for the first half of the movie and STILL make monster bank.  That’s the kind of force this franchise has now.

See?  This is just all kinds of fun!  Try making up your OWN outlandish Batman rumors and post them in the comments section.

You might be surprised–oh, who am I kidding?  Chances are you’re going to be REALLY surprised–by who’s rumored to be slated to play Catwoman in the next installment of The Dark Knight series.

None other than Transformer vixen Megan Fox, that’s who.

Both the movie buff in me and the cynic in me say that this is a really, REALLY good idea that deserves a note of praise.  Taking advantage of Megan Fox’s steadily climbing career from both the Transformers series and other stuff like her upcoming Jennifer’s Body is just a really good move.  But it’s shaky at best–Fox all but laughed off the idea of playing Wonder Woman.  Why would she go for a different DC property?

But then, I end up wondering why.  Considering how well the other two installments of the Dark Knight series have done–for crying out loud, The Dark Knight managed to win a guy a posthumous Oscar, and that’s almost never done!–does it really matter who plays what at this point?  Isn’t it a foregone conclusion that it’ll do well as long as any competent actor takes the available parts?  Does the Batman series really NEED star power?

But this is all just sort of whistling in the dark anyway–star power never hurt anything–and it’s likely to GET star power whether it needs it or not.

Over at a Comic-Con panel for the upcoming Book of Eli, actor Gary Oldman, who played Commissioner Gordon in both of director Christopher Nolan’s Batman films, leaked a few words on the third Batman flick: “We start filming the next ‘Batman’ next year, which means it won’t come out for another two years,” Oldman said, “but you didn’t hear that from me.”

It’s a surprise that we’d hear news of this from a completely unrelated panel event, but it’s a delight to hear nonetheless. Warner Bros. still hasn’t announced anything official, and a representative of the film studio even declined to comment. So, in all technicality, it’s still a rumor, even if it’s coming from a major actor’s mouth. We’ll still keep our eyes peeled for Nolan’s third Batman film, though.

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So much has been said about the upcoming Warner Bros. Animation Green Lantern: First Flight and apparently most DC comic fans are going to love this piece of leaked information on what is in store after the said film. Apparently there is already a film lined up and it is a combination of two DC comic heroes, Batman and Superman. Superman/Batman will be the sixth in the series of direct-to-DVD DC Universe Original Animated Movies that began in 2007 with Superman: Doomsday. Bruce Timm reportedly is executive producer.

The official synopsis appears to follow the source material — the initial arc of the Superman/Batman comic series — pretty closely: “United States President Lex Luthor uses the oncoming trajectory of a kryptonite asteroid to frame Superman and declare a $1 billion bounty on the heads of the Man of Steel and his ‘partner in crime’ Batman. Super heroes and super villains alike launch a relentless pursuit of Superman and Batman, who must unite — and recruit super help — to stave off the action-packed onslaught, stop the asteroid, and uncover Luthor’s devious plot to take command of far more than North America.”

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies is expected to be released this fall.

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Ah, the Batman series.  Never has a series fallen so far so fast only to come back, seemingly from irredemptibility, to become the biggest thing since sliced bread.

We’re talking about a series that went from Arnold Schwartzenegger as the dumbest villain EVER (…well, maybe not counting Jim Carrey) to a series where the bad guy wins a Oscar…posthumously.  You have any idea how hard it is to win a posthumous Oscar? Especially for an actor?  Hollywood HATES giving these things to dead guys–there was only ONE beforehand, and that was Peter Finch in Network.

And now, Warner Brothers has done something amazing with their new offering Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology.  They’re going to show you how badly this whole concept went off the rails, and how far back they had to come in order to be the amazing conquering juggernaut it is now.

For reasons that leave me baffled, the Batman Motion Picture Anthology covers only the period from 1989, with the original Batman, and goes to 1997, with Batman and Robin.  Here are quick plot synopses of the four in the set:

Batman–Batman grapples with his legendary archnemesis, the Joker, who’s out to coat a bankrupt Gotham with Smilex gas, a chemical compound that’ll leave the city as deformed and insane as he is.

Batman Returns–Batman takes on the Penguin and Catwoman as they work together to put a corrupt local businessman into power as Mayor of Gotham.

Batman Forever–It’s the Riddler and Two-Face for Batman to contend with this time, as the duo engage a brain-draining device to render all of Gotham to drooling idiocy.  This is the point where Robin first joins after we discover, somewhat outside of canon, that Two-Face killed his circus acrobat family.

Batman and Robin–Batman and Robin together, along with, for some reason, Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, go forth to tackle Poison Ivy, Bane and Mr. Freeze, each with their own goal in mind.  Interestingly, despite the fact that the goals are contradictory you don’t see a lot of infighting with the villains.  Mr. Freeze is out to ice over Gotham while stealing suffcient cash to research a cure for a disease his wife carries, while Bane and Poison Ivy are out to turn the planet into a greenhouse.

This gives you a good idea of what’s going on here.  You’ll notice that, after the first one, it’s always multiple villains for the Batman series.  Batman Returns had two–well, more like one and a half; no one was ever too sure what the deal was with Catwoman.  Batman Forever had two, and Batman and Robin packed in three.  Also, the number of heroes grew from the lone Batman to Batman and Robin, then finally Batman and Robin and Batgirl. You’ll further notice that each progressive movie only got more outlandish and steadily worse with each passing iteration.  It’s downright amazing to have this one single box to show us, with crystalline clarity in Blu-ray, just how far down the rabbit hole a movie series can go.

The only real problem I have with the box set–which is positively LADEN with bonus features–is that it stops at 1997.  Why no Blu-ray love for Batman Begins and The Dark Knight?  I KNOW The Dark Knight is already on Blu-ray; surely they could’ve thrown IT in the box.  Unless, of course, they’re planning a big Batman Omnibus edition later on, and they’re getting us all enthused with this version in advance.

So I’m left to reserve judgment on this one–by itself, the Batman Motion Picture Anthology is a pretty good buy.  Four movies in one box?  Never a bad thing.  But considering the likelihood that a later version may include the two best Batman movies?  I’m inclined to wait for THAT one to make a solid buy recommendation.  You may, however, want to hedge your bets if you’re a sufficiently big Batman fan–you’re not likely to find all these on Blu-ray anywhere else.

The Dark Knight is well on its way to becoming a legend, but that hasn’t stopped everyone from asking when/what the sequel will be. Superhero Hype caught up with the TDK producer Charles Roven on the red carpet of the 14th Annual Critics Choice Awards in Santa Monica, California, to ask some questions about the third film.

“Right now even though I’m the producer of ‘The Dark Knight’ I’m kind of like everybody,” he said. “I’m waiting to see what Chris [Nolan] and David Goyer come up with and if they come up and decide if there is something worthy of making another iteration of Batman and ‘The Dark Knight’.”

He continued, adding that the “most important thing” right now is to decide whether there is a reason to make a third film. However, the answer was positive when asked if he would like to see one get made.

The Dark Knight is an amazing film and has been a global success, save for one country: China. AFP is reporting that despite the film’s tremendous popularity, Warner Brothers has opted not to release it in China.

In an official statement, the company has stated that “based on a number of pre-release conditions that are being attached to ‘The Dark Knight’ as well as cultural sensitivities to some elements of the film, we have opted to forego a theatrical release of the film in China.”

China is notorious for its stingy censors through which a handful of movies pass every year. The Dark Knight has a couple of factors that denies its access to China: its plot involves Batman illegally kidnapping a Chinese fugitive from a Hong Kong skyscraper, and there’s a rather non-flattering remark about Chinese gun manufacturing.

Long speculated and highly expected, Warner Bros. biggest grosser of 2008 will have another go in theatres again, reports Variety. The Dark Knight, sequel to Batman Begins, has earned over $530 million domestically and $465 million internationally, coming in just $4 million shy of the billion-dollar mark.

“We wanted to provide one more opportunity for moviegoers to experience it on the bigscreen as it was meant to be seen,” said Dan Fellman, president of Warner’s domestic distribution.

DVD and Blu-ray discs of the film are now available in retail stores nationwide.

DC Comics head honcho Paul Levitz talked to Latino Review about upcoming film projects at the company, noting that it all depends on the third Batman movie.

"Everyone is waiting for Nolan to sign on for another Batman, once that happens, the release date for Superman and all other future projects will follow,” he said. The first two movies have done extremely well, with the second movie going on to break box office records.

Levitz also revealed that Brandon Routh may be attached to play the Kryptonian in the Superman Returns sequel. "Last week Brandon Routh has come around the offices in New York and Los Angeles as of late to talk about Superman and what we want to do,” he stated.

He also talked about the Green Lantern and Green Arrow movies, stating that the Lantern movie is moving forward pretty fast.