Screenhead

No, seriously.  Really.   I don’t even know where you people get these rumors.

I’m faking that last bit of indignation, because frankly, I don’t know where it came from myself.  I hadn’t even heard Depp might possibly have been up for a role in the first place, and now I’ve got negative confirmation on it.  Well, I guess it could be worse…in fact, you know what?  Let’s  MAKE it worse.  Let’s take a run at our OWN outlandish Batman rumors.  How about:

The next Batman villain will be the Clock King, and he will be played by Wallace Shawn. That freaks me out just thinking about it, because a. Wallace Shawn would totally nail the part and b. no one cares about the Clock King in the first place.

Christian Bale out, Viggo Mortenson in. That one also gives me the creeps because it’s so very plausible.  But seriously, at this point, does anyone think they’re going to change horses midstream?

The next Batman installment will be a cartoon, and all the actors will be strictly voice actors.  Oh, come on–like that couldn’t happen?  They’d save vast quantities of money and still make huge bank opening weekend.  They could have Christian Bale stare at the walls for the first half of the movie and STILL make monster bank.  That’s the kind of force this franchise has now.

See?  This is just all kinds of fun!  Try making up your OWN outlandish Batman rumors and post them in the comments section.

You might be surprised–oh, who am I kidding?  Chances are you’re going to be REALLY surprised–by who’s rumored to be slated to play Catwoman in the next installment of The Dark Knight series.

None other than Transformer vixen Megan Fox, that’s who.

Both the movie buff in me and the cynic in me say that this is a really, REALLY good idea that deserves a note of praise.  Taking advantage of Megan Fox’s steadily climbing career from both the Transformers series and other stuff like her upcoming Jennifer’s Body is just a really good move.  But it’s shaky at best–Fox all but laughed off the idea of playing Wonder Woman.  Why would she go for a different DC property?

But then, I end up wondering why.  Considering how well the other two installments of the Dark Knight series have done–for crying out loud, The Dark Knight managed to win a guy a posthumous Oscar, and that’s almost never done!–does it really matter who plays what at this point?  Isn’t it a foregone conclusion that it’ll do well as long as any competent actor takes the available parts?  Does the Batman series really NEED star power?

But this is all just sort of whistling in the dark anyway–star power never hurt anything–and it’s likely to GET star power whether it needs it or not.

Ah, the Batman series.  Never has a series fallen so far so fast only to come back, seemingly from irredemptibility, to become the biggest thing since sliced bread.

We’re talking about a series that went from Arnold Schwartzenegger as the dumbest villain EVER (…well, maybe not counting Jim Carrey) to a series where the bad guy wins a Oscar…posthumously.  You have any idea how hard it is to win a posthumous Oscar? Especially for an actor?  Hollywood HATES giving these things to dead guys–there was only ONE beforehand, and that was Peter Finch in Network.

And now, Warner Brothers has done something amazing with their new offering Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology.  They’re going to show you how badly this whole concept went off the rails, and how far back they had to come in order to be the amazing conquering juggernaut it is now.

For reasons that leave me baffled, the Batman Motion Picture Anthology covers only the period from 1989, with the original Batman, and goes to 1997, with Batman and Robin.  Here are quick plot synopses of the four in the set:

Batman–Batman grapples with his legendary archnemesis, the Joker, who’s out to coat a bankrupt Gotham with Smilex gas, a chemical compound that’ll leave the city as deformed and insane as he is.

Batman Returns–Batman takes on the Penguin and Catwoman as they work together to put a corrupt local businessman into power as Mayor of Gotham.

Batman Forever–It’s the Riddler and Two-Face for Batman to contend with this time, as the duo engage a brain-draining device to render all of Gotham to drooling idiocy.  This is the point where Robin first joins after we discover, somewhat outside of canon, that Two-Face killed his circus acrobat family.

Batman and Robin–Batman and Robin together, along with, for some reason, Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, go forth to tackle Poison Ivy, Bane and Mr. Freeze, each with their own goal in mind.  Interestingly, despite the fact that the goals are contradictory you don’t see a lot of infighting with the villains.  Mr. Freeze is out to ice over Gotham while stealing suffcient cash to research a cure for a disease his wife carries, while Bane and Poison Ivy are out to turn the planet into a greenhouse.

This gives you a good idea of what’s going on here.  You’ll notice that, after the first one, it’s always multiple villains for the Batman series.  Batman Returns had two–well, more like one and a half; no one was ever too sure what the deal was with Catwoman.  Batman Forever had two, and Batman and Robin packed in three.  Also, the number of heroes grew from the lone Batman to Batman and Robin, then finally Batman and Robin and Batgirl. You’ll further notice that each progressive movie only got more outlandish and steadily worse with each passing iteration.  It’s downright amazing to have this one single box to show us, with crystalline clarity in Blu-ray, just how far down the rabbit hole a movie series can go.

The only real problem I have with the box set–which is positively LADEN with bonus features–is that it stops at 1997.  Why no Blu-ray love for Batman Begins and The Dark Knight?  I KNOW The Dark Knight is already on Blu-ray; surely they could’ve thrown IT in the box.  Unless, of course, they’re planning a big Batman Omnibus edition later on, and they’re getting us all enthused with this version in advance.

So I’m left to reserve judgment on this one–by itself, the Batman Motion Picture Anthology is a pretty good buy.  Four movies in one box?  Never a bad thing.  But considering the likelihood that a later version may include the two best Batman movies?  I’m inclined to wait for THAT one to make a solid buy recommendation.  You may, however, want to hedge your bets if you’re a sufficiently big Batman fan–you’re not likely to find all these on Blu-ray anywhere else.

Glare in envy, fanboys, I have managed to charm Warner Brothers into letting me into a preview screening of The Dark Knight. Sure, I had to stagger out of the cinema at noon and burst my daze as I returned to work, but it was worth it. It’s no secret that The Dark Knight is the most anticipated film of the year, after Spielberg and Lucas destroyed a great franchise earlier this summer. The promos for the second revived Batman movie have been astounding, as have the rumours that the recently deceased Heath Ledger has delivered an award-winning performance. But, is the story of Batman’s battle with Joker and Two-Face going to live up to its expectations?

Before I continue with The Dark Knight, I should explain that I found Batman Begins to be a disappointing film. While I appreciated Nolan’s attempt to reinvent Batman according to Miller’s grim style, Batman Begins felt too serious, too much in love with its sense of unjustified gravitas to acknowledge that the plot was rather silly, despite Nolan’s best efforts to portray the villain as a moral force.

Fortunately, the sequel manages to avoid this, by generating a dizzying world of chaos and violence, represented by one figure: The Joker. This is not the prancing prat from the CRACK POW Batman series, nor is it the self-destructive maniac that is Jack Nicholson after a few pints of booze. No, this Joker has a one-track mind on a mission to revel in endless destruction. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Ain’t it Cool News posted the above pic of Harvey Dent, the second villain to feature in the upcoming Batman sequel, The Dark Knight. Directed by Christopher Nolan, who revamped the franchise with Batman Begins, I knew the film was going to be dark. But this goes beyond dark, it’s downright scary!

Now, I don’t know whether this is real or not. Last year Slashfilm posted some pics of Two-Face which they revealed were fake. And there’s also rumours that Two-Face, played by Aaron Eckhart, will only briefly appear in The Dark Knight, instead being set up for the next inevitable sequel. I really hope this pic isn’t fake, it would really add to the intensity of a film that is already disturbing (check out the trailer)- and that’s even before you realise that the Joker is essentially Heath Ledger’s last role.

The Dark Knight is released from July 18th.