Screenhead

…Blake Clark.

I know, kind of disappointing, but one of the biggest questions surrounding Toy Story 3 was: “Who’s going to take over Slinky Dog since Jim Varney died?”  And that’s the answer–Clark is famous for showing up almost randomly in Adam Sandler movies, as well as for his own stand-up comedy career, so it’s not as though he’s a complete newcomer.

And in all honesty, Clark really does sound at least something like Jim Varney, so the massive shock will be reduced quite a bit.  In fact, it’ll almost sound like Varney himself is delivering all the lines, it’s just that the audio is a bit off.  These days, speakers in theaters are probably getting old and worn-out anyway with not a whole lot of profit left toward improving them, so you may be able to just chalk it up to lousy speakers and still be able to enjoy the movie.

But we’ll find out soon enough–Toy Story 3 will be front and center for summer movie season 2010.

Well, folks, you’re gonna love this one.  It doesn’t come out until September 29th, and also represents the first ever horror title from Happy Madison’s newly-founded horror arm, Scary Madison.  Today we’re talking The Shortcut, and it’ll be a study in attempting to overcome early losses.

Yeah, I know…that’s got me more than a little freaked out, too.  I’m supposed to believe a horror movie from Mr. “You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants”?

The plot, of course, is horror movie standard, which makes it all the more unpleasant when you realize that this is rated PG-13.  Essentially, we’ve got a shortcut through the woods, connecting the school to local residences.  Meanwhile, the shortcut itself has become the topic of local legend, sufficiently so to require that it be locked and gated.  It’s said to be home to a shovel-wielding lunatic that doesn’t much like kids…or trespassers.

Both is right out.

Anyway, when a group of kids decides to investigate for themselves, what they’ll find will leave them never again the same.

What truly upsets me about The Shortcut is that nothing of any real consequence happens through the first half hour.  Nothing worse than a dead dog and some vaguely ominous foreboding.  Frankly, as a horror movie, this loses so much effect for just being plain old DULL.

Clearly, Happy Madison is out of its depth.

I will admit, however, that after the first forty minutes things do improve somewhat, and The Shortcut will manage to achieve some solid, if blatantly irrational, results in the last half-hour, but it’s almost a case of too little, too late.  They lost so many opportunities in the first half hour there’s no way you can call this good.  The best it can achieve is passable.

The Screenhead Ten Scale hands this interesting slow-starter a six out of ten for opportunities lost and opportunities capitalized on.

The first time I saw Maria Bello on film was in the movie The History of Violence.  She grabbed at her role and gave it all she got as a loving wife and mother who finds out her sweet loveable husband is at former and brutal hit man.  

So, I am happy to hear that Bello is in final talks to join Adam Sandler’s the all-star comedy untitled film.  I look forward to seeing her in a comedy. With her talent, she’ll bring the comedy to a whole new level.

I have posted about this film a couple of times already because I think this is a sure fire hit. As a reminder, the script centers on high school friends who reunite 30 years later. Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Salma Hayek and Maya Rudolph are part of the ensemble.

Bello will play James’ wife – what a match.

Adam Sandler co-wrote a comedy, Born to Be a Star, tinged with porn and he has Christina Ricci to star and Tom Brady to direct.   

A typical Sandler over the top story follows a small-town nerd who stumbles upon a family secret. His settle-down and straight-laced parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. The discovery inspires him to leave Northern Iowa for Hollywood in hopes to follow his parent’s footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world.

Ricci plays the female lead as the guy’s innocent girlfriend.

Filming begins at the end of April.

Is it just me, or do all Adam Sandler movies seem vaguely similar?  I mean, come on–Adam Sandler plays a plucky young fellow who may or may not be a total jerk but usually has a heart of gold either out in the open or hidden under that jerkish exterior, and he’s going to have to take on some butt-kissing weenie before he can get what he wants, which is generally a hot chick.  Look at it—Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Mr. Deeds, Little Nicky, even Eight Crazy Nights to a lesser extent.  All guys with hearts of gold, well-buried beneath cynicism or excess in some cases but there nonetheless, all out to get what they were after, but having to go through someone else to get it.

This, interestingly enough, will continue on with Happy Madison’s newest venture, the recently released to DVD film Bedtime Stories.

In this one, Sandler plays Skeeter Bronson, a young man who’s not exactly getting the happy ending his father’s old bedtime stories used to offer.  His father owned a small motel, and Skeeter helped his father out in its operation and even in its improvement, offering up a nifty idea at one point that hotel rooms should come with a complimentary pair of socks as most travelers failed to bring sufficient pairs for their trip.  So it seemed Skeeter would be just the type to take over for his father, but that all changed when his father sold the hotel, and Skeeter wound up the new handyman.  Fast forward a few years, and Skeeter’s left taking care of his sister’s kids for the week while she goes job hunting due to the closing of the school where she’s principal.  Unsure of what to do, Skeeter falls back on a reliable standby, telling the kids bedtime stories.  But when the kids chip in a few ideas for the stories, they seem to have a strange way of coming true…in a roundabout fashion.

As much as I want to lay into Sandler for doing the same stupid movie over and over and over again until I want to either beat him with a shovel or hit MYSELF over the head with it instead just to make the pointlessness stop, I have to admit, Sandler’s got a good one this time around.  Yes, it’s the same as most of his other ones, but when he brought the little kids into the mix, he stopped being some braying cretin designed to entertain brain-damaged teenagers and instead became a softer, almost clownish figure that makes the kids laugh with simple and unalloyed joy.

This was unexpected.  I found myself joining in the laughs because of their simple, gentle clarity.  This wasn’t Sandler’s usual brand of “hurr he got kicked in the balls hurr durr”….no, this was a simpler “hey that guinea pig’s got really goofy eyes” kind of funny.  It’s no less simple than the groin kick, but at the same time, it’s actually less crass.  And that’s kind of interesting coming from Sandler, who’s been trying to soften his image into a more family-friendly sort of concept.  With this kind of movie he’s actually well on his way.

The stories, meanwhile, are solid enough if a bit childish, but considering they’re geared for children, that’s understandable.  Longtime Sandler fans won’t be left out in the cold as a terribly familiar dog shows up, and Rob Schneider will also show up for his obligatory three-minute cameo and variation on “You can doo eet!” line.

All things considered, you could do a lot worse than Bedtime Stories, with or without the kids in tow to see it.  It’s great if you want something simple, with some good laughs, that’ll represent a nice time at the movies.

Adam Sandler’s untitled comedy appears to have completed its major casting with Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph and Colin Quinn joining up.  

Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider and David Spade have already joined the project, which gyrates around five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend. Hayek is set to play the wife of Sandler’s character and Rudolph will portray Rock’s spouse.

Dennis Dugan is onboard to direct the comedy that is scheduled to begin filming in the summer. Sandler wrote the screenplay with Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star scribe Fred Wolf.

Variety is calling the untitled movie a reunion for “Saturday Night Live” alums. Former cast members Rudolph and Quinn join Sandler, Rock, Schneider, Spade and Wolf, who all spent time on the long-running series.

Judd Apatow has made a film, Funny People, that I think is hilarious if it’s anything like his trailer. This trailer is like a movie. It tells you a story, it’s funny with a beginning, middle and an end.  Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman have impeccable delivery with angst and humor mixed beautifully. You will belly laugh!

Director Dennis Dugan, who often collaborates with Adam Sandler, is to direct an untitled comedy for Columbia pictures with Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade  in negotiations to star. Summer start date is expected.  

Sandler wrote the screenplay with Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star scribe Fred Wolf.

According to Variety,  the untitled comedy is a high-concept story about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend.

Check out this newly released theater poster of Adam Sandler’s new pic, Bedtime Stories. This fantasy comedy film is directed by Adam Shankman and will star Adam Sandler. Sandler’s production company Happy Madison and Andrew Gunn’s company Gunn Films will produce the film, and Walt Disney Pictures will distribute the film.

In the film, Sandler plays Skeeter Bronson, a hotel handyman whose life is changed forever when the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to mysteriously come true. He attempts to take advantage of the phenomenon, incorporating his own aspirations into one outlandish tale after another, but it’s the kids’ unexpected contributions that turn Skeeter’s life upside down. In here, you will see Sandler play a gladiator, knight, adventurer, and handyman.

Did I say this looks like fun?  It does.  With a plot like this Adam Sandler will go wild. Enjoy the trailer.