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Just when you think George Lucas has gone far enough…

A long time ago in a galaxy quite close I spent some time as a child recuperating from an operation, and I spent a day watching all three Star Wars films in a row. It was a joy, a delight, my discomfort completely bypassed by being engrossed in a fantastic world. I had joined the millions of people who held these films close to their heart, and their inner child. Then came the prequel trilogy, which felt wrong. Perhaps it was the terrible dialogue, the awful attempts at humour, the inability to emote with anyone (we had no Han Solo wise-cracking character), etc. Despite the financial success (and some delusions by fanboys that the final film, Revenge of the Sith, was actually good in any way), I had hoped that Lucas, as he once claimed, would quit the Star Wars business and move on. However, like malaria, or a latent fungus, Lucas gets revenge on those who still had good feelings for the original trilogy by giving us Star Wars: The Clone Wars, an animated film kick-starting a forthcoming TV series of the same name.

The plot is rather flimsy, but it’s set in between Episode 2 and 3 of the prequel trilogy. Annakin Skywalker is a teenager and refining his fantastic abilities with master Obi Wan Kenobi. In the midst of a war against an uprising against the Intergalactic Republic, Obi Wan and Annakin are sent to investigate the kidnap of a key ally’s (Jabba the Hut, the big blob from Return of the Jedi) child. However, Annakin has been mistakenly assigned a trainee Jedi of his own, the sprightly teenage girl Ahsoka Tano.

I had mild hopes for this flick. Despite the rather poor animation evident in the trailers, this is the first Star Wars film in 25 years that Lucas didn’t write or direct. Perhaps in leaving the franchise with the fans, we could get something a bit more entertaining. Alas, the clunky animation is one of the least irritating aspects of the film.

Probably the most noticeable problem is the voice-acting. Director Dave Filoni must have studied toothpaste commercials when making this film. While Obi Wan’s voice matches Ewan McGregor’s droll performance, it’s Annakin’s voice that grates the most. Almost every sentence is enunciated with no semblance of realism, making Mark Hammil’s Luke sound like a Cassavetes film. Ahsoka’s lines are delivered which such whiney irritation that any attempt to present a likable character were flushed down the toilet.

The direction of the action is notably dull. Any expectations of originality or true thrills are kept on a tenuous thread until enough of the physical gags (usually based on the incompetence of enemy droids) deflate your sense of enjoyment. And, almost every scene is deeply derivative of a moment from the previous movies.

The evident problem with this film is that it’s not a film. Lucas decided to release the show’s pilot as a film form. This means that we get no story, and especially no sense of character development (Annakin’s gradual lean to the Dark Side is utterly ignored). It may work as an extended TV series, but as 90 minutes of cinema, The Clone Wars feels insignificant and dull.

But what’s worse is that the genius of the original Star Wars trilogy was that it was an adventure that could inspire children and adults alike. As of late, it feels as if Lucas has lost sight of this. The Phantom Menace has blatant scenes and characters to appeal to the youngest age group possible, and it was often embarrassing to an adult audience. The Clone Wars is even worse, a series aimed solely for children, with appropriately unnatural kids-TV voice acting, deliberate marketing strategies (you almost feel as if the introduction of Ahsoka is a result of Lucas’s PR agents targeting a lagging demographic- teenage girls), and humour inaccessible to only the youngest age groups. The enjoyment of Star Wars really does feel like a long time ago.

By Eoin O’Faolain

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