So there’s a little bittersweet news today, folks. I’ve always had a fondness for boat movies, undersea movies and suchlike, and I definitely liked the whole Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea concept. So when a remake of same was announced, I was somewhat happy about the whole thing.
At least until they told me McG was directing it. And then I had a problem with the whole thing…but the irony is that I needn’t have a problem with it any more.
See, it seems that McG decided he wasn’t going to have anything more to do with the remake, and thus, he walked away. And when he did that, Disney decided to shut down the whole program.
The big problem here, of course, is that McG is pretty much a tainted director now since the lesser performance of Terminator Salvation, and the fact that filming an underwater epic like Twenty Thousand Leages Under the Sea would necessarily have to be would cost money like no tomorrow in really lousy economic conditions and be only remotely guaranteed returns (it’s a known quantity but nothing’s been done with it in decades), they just didn’t have much choice.
So hopefully McG can find work again, but if nothing else, he probably made enough cash to not have to worry about work for a while. Maybe he can go write a biopic or a chick flick or something, something really out of left field
So chances are you’re still coming down from the adrenaline high that was 2012, and you’re wondering what could ever make your heart race so again. Well, I’ve got a sweet chunk of news here that will at least boggle your mind if not necessarily get your adrenaline firing.
Roland Emmerich is making noises that say that he’s looking to take 2012 to the small screen…to do 2013.
It’s not exactly a huge spoiler to let you know that, in fact, some people did survive the massive apocalypse that was 2012, and as such, Emmerich’s plan is to put these people into a series about the adventures of refounding the world.
Actually, this isn’t a terrible idea. I personally hope for an episode where some of the actual survivors of, say, America, who couldn’t buy their way out, come back, find that asshole Anheiser who figured that four hundred thousand was good enough, and show him in excruciating detail the error of his ways.
But since this would probably be on basic cable, if not network outright, such things will likely not happen. The idea, however, is fun enough if a little on the weird side.
Remember when I was telling you all about the Phantasm webseries that might possibly have been in the works? Well, this next bit isn’t about confirming or denying same, but what we’ve got here is a bit of news on a possible remake. Or even possible sequel.
Director Don Coscarelli, an affirmed Master of Horror based on the short-lived Showtime series of the same name, had this to say:
“It’s something we’ve talked about through the years but the timing hasn’t worked out or getting the finances exactly right. I’ve been cooking up a couple of incarnations of things that I can’t talk about now but hopefully in the near future we could get something in the “Phantasm” world happening.”
Frankly, they could use it. The fourth installation was a joke that was made up of mostly clips from the earlier titles. We’re all dying to see The Tall Man get his in the end because he’s had THREE MOVIES to run amok and turn America into a gigantic cenotaph. I’m eagerly awaiting this one, and hope they can find some financing even in these slim times.
I’m all in favor of eye-catching headlines and attention-grabbing titles. I’ve used–or tried to use–my share and then some, but when you title a movie Sadistic Dismemberment, you’d better be swinging some serious meat around, otherwise you’re just pandering.
And in this case, yes, it’s pandering.
Sadistic Dismemberment is pretty much what it says on the box, following a young man around through his day, which mostly consists of getting up, brushing his teeth, eating some cereal and then rummaging around in what looks like his little sister’s closet before he’s caught and sadistically dismembered.
I have to admit, there were plenty of laughs in this one. Even I, a horror buff of decades, am not sure what use a pasta serving spoon, a ladle, and a small dog have in a graphic dismemberment.
Of course, the obvious problems are here. There’s no plot. Forget about understanding things like why the ghost is attacking this poor schlub. There’s plenty of continuity errors–things are almost cut off but never actually done, and will reappear whole in the next shot. The music is all taken directly from video games, and the director has apparently been inspired by a laundry list of Japanese horror films which he thanks in the end.
The Screenhead Ten Scale is always willing to acknowledge effort and thus hands over a straight five out of ten. It definitely made me laugh, but I think I was laughing AT it a lot more than WITH it.
If you’re not already getting AMC, on cable or satellite, you may have a good reason to coming up in the next few months–they’re hard at work on a new series based on Robert Kirkman’s comic The Walking Dead.
Zombie fans out there, you know how singlemindedly awesome this is, and the thought of a Walking Dead television series is enough to almost give you hope until you remember that THIS IS TELEVISION, and television often falls under the purview of the FCC, the biggest nanny-state outfit on the face of the earth. But not to worry, folks, apparently the boys at AMC have already put a standard on Kirkman’s work–no profanities at F-bomb rank or higher.
Considering that they just turned a foot into pudding on Mad Men, and that show airs during prime time, they might just be able to pull off a little zombie gore and authenticity. But even with some off-camera gore, a zombie based TV show is still a pretty awesome idea.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballsstill rains the box office can only mean that people want to see light-hearted films during a time when there are economic woes and uncertainty in our leaders. Surrogates came in second, which is a serious science fiction story, perhaps bringing in only $15 million means, again, people want to be entertained with optimistic material.
I generally approve of Japanese horror, because it’s a lot like the poem. When it’s good, it’s very good, but when it’s bad, it’s very bad indeed. Japanese horror seems to inevitably fall into one of two categories–crazy panic terror romp or chatty boring talkfest that goes nowhere.
Ju-On: The Grudge easily qualifies as one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. I referred a neophyte horror friend and her new hubby to this one (Dan and Mia, if you’re reading this, hi!) and it kept her up for two consecutive days. It didn’t freak me out quite this bad, but then I had years of experience at the time.
So when I heard that original Grudgemeister Takashi Shimizu was looking to bring back a new Japanese Grudge, my jaw dropped. The awesome part is that if I remember right, in Japan, there have been several installments of Ju-On, while there were only three Grudges here.
This one is slated to involve a family that moves into a new house in time for Christmas, and though everything seems fine at first, by the time a Santa Claus-suit-clad delivery man shows up, no one’s answering the door.
Spooky, I know, and I hope I get the chance to see it. I’ll keep you posted; hopefully it’ll make its way over here.
Okay, so we’ve now finished reviewing all the entries for the Halloween Horror Nights short film contest, and now we’re left with one critical question: who’s going to take it?
Now that I’ve seen them all, I feel at least somewhat qualified to answer, and though there were a great many good pieces in there–in fact, there were really only a couple that we’re that hot–I think you know where my nod has to go: Fewdio’s Mockingbird.
Granted, The Nightmare actually was a wild moulange of creepy images, but the lack of a story killed it. And Samaritan was actually pretty scary if a bit predictable. And Lamaze of the Dead was a beautiful study in zombie movie fun but not a one of these could top the shock that Mockingbird presented.
That’s my pick for the top film of Halloween Horror Nights’ 2009 short film contest–it remains to be seen who’ll take the top prize home, but I know where my vote went.
Where’s your vote going? Hit the comments section below and fill us in!
So there’s a little bittersweet news today, folks. I’ve always had a fondness for boat movies, undersea movies and suchlike, and I definitely liked the whole Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea concept. So when a remake of same was announced, I was somewhat happy about the whole thing.
So chances are you’re still coming down from the adrenaline high that was 2012, and you’re wondering what could ever make your heart race so again. Well, I’ve got a sweet chunk of news here that will at least boggle your mind if not necessarily get your adrenaline firing.
Remember when I was telling you all about the
If you’re not already getting AMC, on cable or satellite, you may have a good reason to coming up in the next few months–they’re hard at work on a new series based on Robert Kirkman’s comic The Walking Dead.
I generally approve of Japanese horror, because it’s a lot like the poem. When it’s good, it’s very good, but when it’s bad, it’s very bad indeed. Japanese horror seems to inevitably fall into one of two categories–crazy panic terror romp or chatty boring talkfest that goes nowhere.