Folks, if you want the very latest in groundbreaking, chance-taking, movie making joy, you’re not going to go to the theatre.  You’re going to go to the video store or somewhere similar.  And today, I’m going to be filling you in on one of the biggest little movies that hasn’t even managed to come out yet.  That’s right–you’re getting a really, really, REALLY advance sneak peek at Interplanetary, the second feature-length film from the guys out at Crewless Productions.

In case you’re not already familiar with these guys–and you should be, believe me–they were the bunch behind Hide And Creep, perhaps the first and only movie to feature a video store clerk as a romantic male lead.    Interplanetary brings that special blend of comedy, suspense, action and sheer low-budget antics to a new frontier this time, science fiction.

In Interplanetary, the Interplanetary Corporation has set up a base on the surface of Mars, for reasons that can only be described as poorly explained.    But this really isn’t the point, as the crew of the Interplanetary Corporation live and work on Mars, and are convinced that they’re the only ones on the planet…at least, until someone takes a rocket launcher to Mars Base Two.  Now the folks at Interplanetary  are neck-deep in mysteries like:

1. Who’s shooting at us?

2. What’s that alien monstrosity that keeps killing us off?

3. Does any of this have anything to do with the fossil we found?

4. Did you get that memo I sent you about the TPS reports?

Before you start thinking that ’s from the wrong movie, you’re right, but not as right as you think.  See, the more I watched Interplanetary, the more I was convinced that it was a weird cross between Total Recall and Office Space.  The Interplanetary Corporation contains a very large and very rigid bureaucracy, and the corporate hierarchy is so ingrained in its workers–at least its middle managers, who are in charge of the base–that they consult company policy manuals for instructions on how to react to hostage situations.  Even when they’re the ones being taken hostage.

This mix is incredibly hard to maintain even under normal circumstances, but doubly hard considering that Interplanetary will actually take itself seriously the whole time.  Yes, there are plenty of killer jokes in here–a short-range spacecraft is dubbed the Hesperus–and there are also more than a few good doses of suspense and action too.  There’s a little bit of something for just about everybody in Interplanetary,  and that’s going to make this a movie superior to a lot of its kind.

There will even be a slew of surprises to be had here–the ending must be seen to be believed–and they’ll be inserted at random throughout the proceedings just to keep things even more interesting.

For those of you who think that science fiction can only be good with A-list stars and an A-list budget, I’m profoundly honored to offer up Interplanetary, a move that will prove you wrong by every measure possible.  In fact, if you’re any kind of science fiction fan at all, this will just prove to be entirely too good to miss.

Genuinely, when I first got a hold of this one, I wasn’t even all that sure why it existed in the first place.  No one ever accused the original Cell of being a blockbuster hit, or an Academy Award contender, or even, you know, good.  So it’s hard to believe that this merited a sequel, but then, considering that Wrong Turn will have a second sequel before much longer, and even Urban Legend could rate two, I guess it’s just part of that grand movement to get what you can get.

The Cell 2 will bring us a thriller centered around, once again, The Cusp, a serial killer who brings his victims back to life after each kill so he can kill them again and again before finally, actually, killing them.  One of his last victims, Maya, received special powers as a result of her time with The Cusp, which she only just barely survived.  I’m not kidding about the special powers–they have a whole explanation readied about how the repeated death cycles release a flood of specialized hormones into the brain and activate normally dormant parts.  Anyway, Maya’s going to turn around and use her newfound special powers to regularly enter the memories and, occasionally, the conscious mind of the missing victims and the killer in a bid to locate them and bring The Cusp to justice.

Naturally, none of the trippy visual imagery of the last one will be in this one.  And Jennifer Lopez, the only recognizable name of the last one will be replaced with a bunch of no-names that I really don’t recognize.  In fact, this bears about as much resemblance to the original as a pig resembles a tuna salad sandwich.

In fact, I have absolutely no clue why this even is The Cell 2.  The Cell was such a low-rent property to begin with that they weren’t going to get a whole lot of name recognition out of it, and this would’ve done about as well being called anything else.

See, this movie, unlike The Cell, is not so bad.  The Cell sacrificed story coherence for trippy visual imagery, whereas The Cell 2 will cut way back on the trippy imagery, thus requiring them to have at least something resembling a coherent plot.  Granted, it will be heavily laden with cheese, poorly explained metaphysics, and stuff that isn’t even remotely possible, but it will at least make something like sense.

I say something like sense, of course, because the very nature of this kind of movie will preclude a LOT of it from making sense.  They’re going to do a whole lot of stuff here that they’re not even going to REMOTELY bother trying to explain.  It’s a lot like living in a world in which people occasionally cough up vital organs and stuff them calmly back in their mouths; that is, the thoroughly inexplicable will happen on a regular basis without explanation or preamble.

When compared to the original installment of The Cell, The Cell 2 actually manages to come off pretty well.  But considering that the original installment of The Cell was perpetrated as some kind of practical joke against moviegoing audiences that’s still not saying much.

Five people have joined the cast of upcoming indie drama Boy Wonder: Zulay Henao, James Russo, Bill Sage, Caleb Steinmeyer and Tracy Middendorf.

The film will follow a guy (Steinmeyer) who is looking for the person who killed his mother during a carjacking. He joins up with a homicide detective (Henao) who is investigating a spate of vigilante murders.

It has been written by Michael Morrissey, who will also direct. Shooting begins this coming Monday in New York.

The trades are reporting that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy have joined the cast of upcoming indie drama Café.

Written by Marc Erlbaum, the movie follows an ensemble cast of Philadelphia residents who frequent the local West Philly Grounds coffee shop where Hewitt’s character works.

Other members of the cast include Alexa Vega, Madeline Carroll, Daniel Eric Gold and Hubble Palmer.

Helmed by Erlbaum himself, shooting began last week in Philadelphia.

It appears that unicorns are in season again, as Johanna E. Braddy and Kyle Gallner have joined the cast of upcoming indie drama Unicorns.

The film focuses on an awkward teenage girl who escapes into a fantasy world when her romantic relationship turns abusive.

It has been penned by Leah Meyerhoff, who is also directing the film. Shooting starts this summer.

When I first saw a copy of Into the Blue 2 on video store shelves, I thought someone at my friendly neighborhood video store was having a good laugh at my expense.  Someone with some sweet Photoshop skills and a wild imagination whomped up a cheesy premise and told us a really unpleasant story.

But no…it really exists.  And it may well represent the most desperate excursion MGM has ever put on to date.  So desperate, in fact, that it will actually put on a wet t-shirt contest with only a half-hour into the movie, and you know that’s pretty desperate.

Anyway, this time we’re off to Hawaii, to hunt up a missing piece of Saddam Hussein’s lost fortune, while pretending to look for the wreck of the San Cristobal, a massive Spanish treasure ship that was on its way to the Philippines when it went down.  Featuring a pair of pretty much unknown actors as young divemasters up to their necks in hock, they’ll take on the quest to find Saddam’s lost fortune in the guise of the San Cristobal.

And here I thought Spanish treasure ships were exclusively the province of the Caribbean.  But the folks after the containers comprising the sixty million dollars of Saddam’s lost fortune are on a deadline—figuratively, and literally.  If they can’t find the containers within just a few days, they’re both dead.  And so are the two young divemasters they’ve engaged.

Okay, this sucker’s eye candy of the highest sort.  Constant beautiful views will appear for us, including hot chicks for the guys, hot guys for the chicks, and of course, the sheer beauty that is the underwater scenery, in both daylight and at night.  I think it’s possible that the underwater shots may be even MORE stunning at night.  Sadly, we won’t get to see any huge piles of gold or similar treasure in this one, probably owing to the low budget, but it would have been nice.  Like I said before, they actually included a wet t-shirt contest in this one, which is a sign of truest desperation.  They really went all out to pander on this one in one way or another—action buffs, adventure buffs, there’s even some romance in here to make this one shoot for date movie ranking.    Things like character development and even coherent plotting aren’t really in attendance here, but there’s actually a chance you might not notice.  There’s just too much else to look at to notice that things that make a good movie really aren’t here.

This movie is just one big distraction.  That’s all it is—just ninety minutes of “Hey! Hey! Over here! Look at this!” Is this what attention deficit disorder feels like? Oh, and special note to anyone reading this in Great Britain–this’ll hit theatres over there August 2.  And to my crew in Brazil, Spain, Germany, Italy and Australia–you’ll get this in late summer or early fall of 2009, so probably sooner than you think.  A big screen might actually be good for this one, because you’ll get to see the pretty in even greater detail.

But anyway, there’s a lot to enjoy here, even if it’s not exactly the most substantial of movies.  It’s a cheap little distraction, and chances are you’ll enjoy it if for no other reason than it’s just so very pretty.  It’s not much of a movie, let’s be honest, but it’s not necessarily a bad movie for the lack of any substance.  Cotton candy has its place too, and Into the Blue 2 is exactly that.

When Fewdio sets out to do something simple, like a drive in the desert or babysitting or even a simple dinner date, I know they’re going to go all out with it.

And when they presented Dinner Date, doing exactly that, I know they’re going to be just over the top with it.  Better yet, they say that Dinner Date is “Based on actual events”, which is usually a red flag of weak sauce to come, but in this case, it’s actually not that bad.  See, normally, “based on actual events” is an excuse to make a weak horror movie more powerful,  but in Fewdio’s case, it’s already pretty strong stuff so it’s not like they’re just indulging in self-aggrandizement–Fewdio’s offering is already pretty strong by itself, so tacking on the “true story” flag only makes it just a bit stronger knowing something like this already sort of happened.

Of course, with a title like “Dinner Date” from an outfit like Fewdio, giving you a plot synopsis would be both pointless and spoiler filled, as it’s a two minute short that you probably already know how it will end.

This isn’t one of Fewdio’s better titles, mostly because you can see the end coming from a mile away like it’s shooting off magnesium flares with each step it takes.  But it’s still a solid entry in the Fewdio lineup, and well worth the two minutes you’ll put into it just to watch them pull it off.

Did you ever read that one Calvin and Hobbes strip where they’re out in the sandbox and Calvin has set up this elaborate plotline?  A freight train jumps the track, a jetliner is about to crash, an earthquake is causing a fissure in the earth’s crust and they’re all converging on Farmer Brown’s house, where he’s about to light his gas stove, but doesn’t notice the gas leak?

After all this, the last panel is Calvin holding a train over a log cabin house in the sandbox and saying (of Farmer Brown) “His eye twitches involuntarily”.

This is almost exactly what happens in the Fewdio horror short Creep, in which the stage is almost too perfectly set for mayhem to happen.  And mayhem will indeed happen…but like in that perfect Calvin and Hobbes setup, we’ll never actually SEE that mayhem.  And that’s okay, if a little bit on the cheap side.  Sometimes the best gooshy horror is that which we imagine, and this time, we can definitely imagine a winner.  Though after seeing this one and Bedfellows, I’m starting to wonder if they reuse effects….

Anyway, Creep is a fun little two-minute burst of horror that you’ll almost certainly enjoy.

The Fewdio line of short horror has proven to be a spectacular run so far, with most of its shorts being of the highest quality.  But not all of them are good–frankly, I’d be downright terrified if they WERE all good–and I’ve found another one in the bunch that’s of lesser quality.

This one’s called Marie, and it’s an eleven-minute short about a hit man who discovers the unpleasant truth behind a target’s last words.

It’s hard to call Fewdio out, because I remember how much amazing stuff they’ve put out, but really, Marie is not one of them.  The buildup is actually derivative of several other stories I’ve heard, and worse yet, the ending was completely incoherent. In fact, it almost seems like a necessary chunk of the movie illustrating how we got from one part of the ending to another was removed–it’s just that abrupt.

So no, Marie is not one of Fewdio’s best, and that’s all right.  Can’t win ‘em all, you know?

Sometimes, in their own weird way, monsters can do good.  Especially when they go after other monsters.  And to see this concept illustrated plainly and simply, try the Fewdio short The Prey.

In this one, a group of gangstas (and yes, I mean that in every sense of the word) will believe they’ve hit the jackpot when they hear about an elderly crippled man who always seems to have a large stash of gold jewelry for sale when he needs cash.  Thus, they set out to rob him, but what they find when they get to the poor old man’s apartment will be much more than they bargained for.

It’s a standard Fewdio horror short, with an interesting twist at the end, as usual.  For a six minute movie, it’s going to pack in a couple high-octane surprises, and chances are good that if you’ve like any of the others I’ve pointed you to so far, you’ll love this one too.

When Fewdio announces that it’s doing a “tribute to H.P. Lovecraft”, “based on (his) personal religious philosophy”, I don’t know whether to run screaming for my mommy or die laughing.  See, I know H.P. Lovecraft.  And I know most of the time, movies made about his stuff are complete wastes of time and effort with only a handful of exceptions, most of which involve Jeffrey Combs.  But I also know Fewdio.  These guys have given me more scares than the Wall Street Journal this year.  If ANYONE can handle a Lovecraft title…it’s GOT to be Fewdio.

This one, called Conviction, asks one simple question:  what happens when the lights go out?

And congratulate them, folks–they made a good Lovecraft short.  This isn’t one of Fewdio’s best, but it does use their classic modality of a seriously huge twist at the end–don’t shut off the video when you see the credits start–to put together a pretty scary package that’ll actually make you think.

It may not be the best of the bunch, but it’ll do for a quick scare, AND for a philosophy lesson, all in the space of just five short minutes.

I may well have found the freakiest minute of horror EVER thanks to the boys out at Fewdio.

It’s called Mockingbird, and it sets up easily enough, with a young father listening to his baby monitor as his baby starts crying, and his wife goes to care for the little one.  But what he hears quickly turns sinister…and all is not what it seems.  Sounds trite, I know…but man…what they did here.

Pay SPECIAL attention to the one minute one second mark.  I don’t usually give timestamps, but it actually took me three times listening to it and a comment from the comments section before I finally understood just what exactly was said there.  And frankly, when you hear it exactly right, the bottom falls out of the whole thing and almost as suddenly, the creepy factor ratchets up by literally ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE.

Keep a change of pants handy, folks…you might need them after a round of Mockingbird.

And Fewdio goes forth to redeem itself from its losses yesterday by presenting Cleansed, a short horror title that asks, just because you clean up a crime scene, can you ever make it truly clean?

A whopping ten minutes of short horror goodness, Cleansed sends a crime scene cleanup expert–just like those you may have seen in Sunshine Cleaning–out to a house where murder has recently been committed.  But her connection to this crime scene will be an amazing surprise.

Seriously, it will.  I can’t tell you any more than that without watching, but trust me, they even managed to take me by surprise with that one.  It, like much of Fewdio’s body of work, is almost gleefully over the top, and will feature as a standard excellent special effects, some good jump scares, and an excellent closing plot twist.

It’s going to be well worth your time and bandwidth to check this one out.

I admit that I was not aware going in to see Russell Crowe’s latest, State of Play, that it was based on a British TV show.  Being that I enjoy British TV, it sort of makes sense now that I really, almost unaccountably, enjoyed the movie version.

State of Play is a political thriller to match them all, with Russell Crowe playing hard-bitten print journalist Cal McAffrey, your classic “white knight” sort of journalist dedicated to the truth…at all costs.  Kind of the Spider Jerusalem of his era, he’s joined by Rachel McAdams as Della Frye, a blogger handling part of the electronic side of things for the Washington D.C. newspaper both work for.  McAffrey and Frye tracking down the circumstances following the recent death of a Congressman’s mistress about to start a series of hearings into a paramilitary government contractor called PointCorp. As McAffrey and Frye continue to follow the various disparate threads, they begin to see a much greater plot forming almost before their very eyes–the sort of plot that could very well destroy several careers and do inestimable damage to the United States government itself.

For those of you who study the current political landscape, you’ll likely notice at least some “ripped from the headlines” sort of incidents, including a very easy connection between fictional PointCorp and current bugaboo Blackwater (who, ironically enough, recently underwent rebranding possibly due to the fact that everyone associated the name Blackwater with undisciplined, unaccountable mercenaries who shot at American citizens in New Orleans and did who knows how much damage in Iraq.), you’re more than welcome to pat yourselves on the back at this point.  Good catch.

But this is part of what makes State of Play such an interesting film.  Yes, it’s your class-X political thriller, but there are so many elements of plausibility included in the narrative that it takes on a life of its own.  Change a few names around and we might well be looking at something that will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month.  It’s absolutely plausible.  And, given the prevalence of blogging that’s sprung up worldwide—nobody’s laughing at the idea of “citizen-journalists” any more—and in a time when newspapers are going under whilst blogs are flourishing due to the massive disparities in production costs, it’s kind of ennobling to see a blogger like Delia Frye suddenly in a position to make a serious difference, even IF it’s only with the help of a hard-bitten mentor of the print journalism game.

Even better, we’ll also be exposed to intradepartmental bickering at the newspapers, as they struggle to keep up the old ways of print—slow, careful, precise and well supported by fact—when cost containment virtually DEMANDS the new ways of electronic media—fast, dirty, loaded with opinion and commentary, and able to churn out copy in a rapid fashion to keep the short attention span engaged.

Truly, there are several great conflicts going on in State of Play, and we’ll be able to follow almost all of them to at least reasonably satisfying ends. In fact, State of Play itself is a highly satisfying thriller, carefully paced, well put together, and ready to take on the big leagues.  Quite a jump from the old days of TV serials, and I’m glad they made the effort.  State of Play is easily worth your time and your movie dollars.

Thank you, Fewdio, for FINALLY missing the mark for once.  You’ve finally given me something to restore my tattered credibility with, and it’s called Viral.

There’s a very good reason there aren’t any pictures of convicted murderer Albert “The Carnivore” Carneghy, and the Fewdio short Viral, weighing in at a whopping three minutes, will show you why.  Actually, they’ll only KIND OF show you why, and this is why finally I can actually issue something less than a glowing review of a Fewdio work.

The problem with this one is that they didn’t go far enough.  They really needed just a couple extra minutes to fully tell this story, because as it sits, they’re leaving it somewhat open to interpretation.  This is a policy I never fully agree with–a movie, ANY movie, needs to have a complete story; beginning, middle and end.  While I understand the necessity–and approve somewhat–of leaving a few loose ends behind to allow for the possibility of a sequel, the whole should still be whole, and Viral was not.  Instead, you had to guess at what was going on, and though your guess will probably follow one particular path, which I won’t say for fear of spoilering, it’s still just a guess.

So finally, FINALLY, I’ve managed to find a Fewdio horror short to actually warn you off of–Viral is not one of their best.  Oh, I’m not complaining really loud here, especially not over three minutes invested in it, but I AM less than satisfied.  And with Fewdio shorts, that’s downright rare.