Screenhead

It’s extraordinarily difficult to write a review of a movie like The Fourth Kind because it’s not really a movie so much as it is an agenda.

Clearly, someone desperately wants us to believe that what we’re seeing is actually really really REALLY REAL, and won’t be satisfied until, my guess is, we start pestering our Congress critters for answers.  I’m not sure.  Because I’ve never left a movie so utterly confused, and I’ve seen David Croenenburg movies.

This one follows Dr. Abigail Emily Tyler, who is played by Milla Jovovich, who actually TELLS us that’s what she’ll be doing in the beginning of the movie.  And we’ll be following her around as she conducts a sleep disorder study on the people of Nome, Alaska.  Now, Nome is downright infamous for being hard to reach, but apparently it’s also got a serious missing persons problem, and it’s somehow become the FBI travel destination of choice, garnering over two thousand official visits when neighbor Anchorage, who has something like seventy times the population, rates only about three hundred visits in that same time frame.

Now, it’s hard to tell at first glance just how much of this is real and how much of it so utterly fake as to be a complete pantload, because the movie is trying so very desperately hard to convince us that EVERYTHING WE SEE IS HAPPENING FOR REALS, YO, by virtue of running split screen so often I thought I was watching 24.  They’ll do two splits and three splits and four splits and four splits with rotating frames.  It got to the point where I wondered, is this a movie or a Final Cut Pro demo?  And they’ll run, almost ad nauseum, “real footage” alongside footage of the actors, to try and cement that belief.

I’ll freely admit that this is some creepy stuff–when that guy started levitating I got a little freaked out, and Abigail Tyler “herself” under hypnosis was a cold chill up my spine but do I believe this actually went down?  No.

See, one great line from the movie that manages to describe the movie in its entirety is where one of the “patients” is muttering that he’s okay, and “Dr. Tyler” swings in with “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”  And that’s exactly what I thought of this movie.  Yes, okay, you’re going to RELENTLESSLY show me this “real footage” and insist, as loudly and vociferously as possible that it’s real, and frankly, I kind of doubt it.

Folks, this has allegedly been going on since the year 2000.  But somehow it took almost TEN YEARS for someone to exploit it?  Come ON.  We’re talking about a Hollywood scene so desperate that TWO GARFIELD MOVIES looked like a good idea but we’ve got allegedly actual footage of a woman shrieking that she’s god in SUMERIAN and NO ONE’S ran with that ball yet?

The Screenhead Ten Scale joins me in a dismissive back of hand “bah” to this creepy but horrendously disjointed fright fest and acknowledges that the idea is pretty scary but forces my suspension of disbelief engines to glow white hot and give off an ominous whining noise.  Thus, it hands this incredulous horror romp a five out of ten for being creepy yet not even vaguely credible.

Despite social websites such as wikipedia becoming instututions for those in search of knowledge, the film industry hasn’t found a way of utilising this method for film-making. The best example so far has been Voices of Iraq, the 2004 documentary featuring footage of the public of the world’s most dangerous country shot by themselves. It was  fascinating project that provided the world with a perspective that was virtually unavailable until then. However, this year sees the release of another wikipedia-inspired documentary, albeit this time in a very different genre.

All Tomorrow’s Parties may be a classic Velvet Underground song, but it is also an alternative music festival that originated in the UK (since then it has spread to the US, Australia, and Spain, for special occasions). Hosted in an economy holiday camp, each festival has a famous curator who picks all of the other acts, making it a 3-day live mix-tape. Previous curators have included Simpsons curator Matt Groening, actor Vincent Gallo, and acts such as Nick Cave, Sonic Youth, Mogwai, and Portishead. Across the years roadies, fans, and organisers have been filming performances, mostly for personal use, but now that footage has gone to a much better use. All Tomorrow’s Parties is a documentary about the festival, a collage of iconic performances and amusing moments across the festival’s 10 years, including some interviews that will prove fascinating for anyone interested in alternative music.

Kicking off with a live performances of the thundering Battles song Atlas, the doc cuts between performances, the activities of the fans at and outside the gigs, and also archive footage of the holiday site back in its heyday, all with a frenzied pace. The connection is the notion of social gathering. Today the holiday sites of the festival are an opportunity to bring together a community of people who look beyond the mainstream for their music and entertainment. And the documentary manages to catch a glimpse of the spirit of the festival’s community with many shots of its fans and their escapades (from getting drunk to dancing, to waxing lyrical about society). It also provides some magic moments, such as semingly impomptu performances from artists outside their cabin accommodation or on the site’s beach. Singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston sits on the grass playing an acoustic set to anyone walking by, indie-crooners Grizzly Bear harmonise on the beach at night, and hardcore noise duo Lightning Bolt deliver an intense set (that gets complaints from the resident neighbours) outside of the organiser’s cabin. All of these moments combine to offer a real sense of not only what this festival provides, but any modern music festival. And even though it’s a shame that we don’t get to see any songs performed in their entirety, All Tomorrow’s Parties is a perfect document for fans of alt-rock, indie, electronic, or anything outside of the kind of drivel we hear in American Idol.

The documentary will be available to download on the official website from next week.

I have to admit, some of the most interesting movies I get copies of to review are the documentaries.  Strange little pieces about strange little things, like the entire career of H.P. Lovecraft.  And today, I’m bringing out a documentary of the kind the History Channel would probably love–War Dogs of the Pacific.

They mean it literally, you see–War Dogs of the Pacific is all about the dogs who fought in the Pacific theater in World War II.   They were trained pretty extensively, and they served a whole host of roles in the war, including guard duty, ferreting out enemy positions, sensing enemy movement, and even outright combat. See, back in the last days of World War II, the Pacific was about the only game in town left.  And the Japanese had developed an especial talent for hiding and attacking from ambush, so the idea came to use dogs to track hiding places.  And boy, did it ever work.

This movie is spectacularly informative, and will almost certainly tell you at least something new about World War II and about the role that dogs played in this war.  It’s a downright amazing role, too–considering that people back then handed over their pet dogs to serve in the war, in some cases for good,  is just plain old amazing.

Of course, getting past the sheer awesomeness of the idea, you’re left with a pretty good if somewhat short documentary–this has a runtime of about forty five minutes.  But it’s a pretty sweet forty five minutes, especially if you love documentaries or war movies.

The Screenhead Ten Scale loves this movie, but it realizes its tastes are a little unique, and thus hands War Dogs of the Pacific an eight out of ten for giving us all an excellent, if esoteric, view of World War II.

Playing for a Change: Peace Through Music is an award winning documentary that brings music to the heart of the world.

With its stirring call for reconciliation and cross-cultural unification, the global music collaboration/multi-media project, Playing For Change has struck a deep and powerful chord world-wide. “Playing For Change is an exploration into the human spirit,” stated founder and film co-director/producer Mark Johnson. “It demonstrates the power of music to unite us as a human race.” “The project brings an insight into humanity,“ adds co-director Jonathan Walls. “It’s my wish that audiences around the world absorb this musical essence and become inspired to participate and celebrate its manifestation.”

I’ve enjoyed the CD/DVD and now the documentary brings the whole message together as a complete thought, bring peace to the world.

You can win Playing for Change: Peace Through Music DVD by posting your name now and we will pick the winner Saturday,  November 21, 2009.

There’s absolutely no chance that Michael Jackson’s final movie This Is It will win an Oscar for Best Documentary.

I’m sorry, but that’s just the case.  It was released too late in the year to be considered–at least this year.  But it’s not too late, however, for it to take other honors.  It could easily take the Academy Award for Best Picture, even if it has some pretty stiff competition in that department.

Most years, Academy Award for Best Picture is seldom a foregone conclusion even at the best of times.  But let’s face it…this is a wholly different animal.  This is a movie about the last concert ever that never actually happened but was in the process of doing so of one of the biggest entertainers of the twentieth century.

That and the Best Picture slate has been recently expanded to TEN competitors rather than five, so there’s some extra room on the field, a slot that This Is It could easily find itself in.

Can This Is It win?  Well, that’s not clear.  Especially since NONE of the slots have been filled yet.  But is there every possibility?  I’d say yes.

It’s hard to talk about a movie like March of the Penguins.  It’s harder still to talk about it without narrating it in your head in a voice that sounds just like Morgan Freeman’s.

And if you can read these paragraphs without hearing Morgan Freeman, well, then you’re  a stronger one than I am.

March of the Penguins, and its attendant documentary, On The Wings of Penguins (both of which are in the box set) are great looks at penguins.  One deals with penguins in the arctic, while the other deals with African penguins.  Needless to say, there are a whole lot of differences between the two, and you’ll learn all about them right here.

If you’re considering Christmas gifts for younger children, then this package might be pretty good for them.  Sure, you’ll have to fend off some unpleasant questions after a couple penguins and chicks die, but the sheer amount of information they’ll get out of it is fantastic.  Plus, there’s some penguin postcards and a little plushie penguin in the package, making this a pretty decent value for the price.

If your penguin knowledge consists primarily of anything you learned from Bloom County, then chances are you’ll learn a whole lot here, and Morgan Freeman’s expert narration keeps it fairly light and fun.

The Screenhead Ten Scale hands this sharply rich and pleasant documentary series a nine out of ten.  Neither movie by itself really earns that high a mark, but considering the incredible value of the two-movie box set, it’s worth a little bump.

Apparently the whole Rock Band / Guitar Hero / I think I’m a real musician because I got three stars on a video game trend is carrying on wildly unabated and is now producing movies.

Sure, South Park went for Guitar Hero a couple seasons back or so, but now, we’re getting movies out of it.  Fake musicians are becoming part of the movie landscape, and I’m horrified.

First off, we’ve got Adventures of Power, which is all about–get this–AIR DRUMMING.  Some guy who works in a mine with his dad packs up and goes to New Jersey to compete in an air drumming tournament.  I’ve got the trailer below just in case you doubt me.

Now that I’ve reinforced my credibility by showing you the trailer, I can also point you toward one that’s so new it doesn’t have a trailer I can find yet–Air Guitar: The Movie.  This is about the, and frankly, this’ll kill you–world of competitive air guitar.

I’m horrified.  I’m horrified that Hollywood clearly thinks so little of us that these are actually considered commercially viable.

Join two-time Academy Award-winning actor and producer Michael Douglas (who narrates) and the world’s most pre-eminent paleontologists in this eye-popping IMAX adventure as they take an extra-ordinarily unique look at the age of dinosaurs and uncover some of history’s most astonishing finds. 

Personally, I found Dinosaurs Alive! worth the watch because the visuals add so much to the understanding of the prehistoric creatures.  The DVD is a great tool for any parent or school teacher who wants to teach their child about dinosaurs or for anyone who is an avid researcher of dinosaurs.  The special features are supplied with educational tools that are very helpful with a Dinosaur Quiz and Meet the Creatures.

Dinosaurs Alive! brings dinosaurs, their behaviors and ancient environments to life on screen as never before seen—juxtaposing stunningly realistic and scientifically accurate CGI animation with intriguing 1920s documentary footage, dramatic new scenes of real fossils and current dinosaur hunting expeditions. Using state-of-the-art techniques, the filmmakers have created an array of amazingly life-like creatures based on the latest fossil evidence, allowing the entire family to see these remarkable creatures come alive … in a very BIG way! 

So how big were these mysterious creatures that dominated the earth for 150 million years?  How fast did they move?  What did they eat?  How did they interact with other dinosaurs and creatures?  Which were the predators and which were the hunted?  How did they raise their young?  What was their world like and how did they deal with the forces of nature?  And just how did they die? 

Uncover the mysteries below your feet as you travel across the exotic dunes of the Gobi Desert and along the sandstone buttes of New Mexico with scientists who make brand-new discoveries and find what could be the oldest dinosaur ever unearthed in North America.

Screenhead has 4 copies of Dinosaur Alive! to give away. Post your name and we will pick the winners Thursday, November 12, 2009.

It’s not every day we get actual for-real documentaries out here, but when Wyrd Studios sent me a copy of their upcoming newest, Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown, I figured it was about time we branched out a tick.

This is a massive work about the life, times and career of widely known and widely read H.P. Lovecraft, and includes a vast trove of pictures and interviews with horror authors and other figures.  When you see Neil Gaiman and Guillermo del Toro within five minutes of each other, you know you’re in for an absolute doozy.

Frankly, anyone with even the vaguest interest in the work of H.P. Lovecraft is going to be absolutely struck by this movie.  You will learn anything and everything you’ve ever possibly wanted to know about H.P. Lovecraft, and most of it will likely amaze you.

Of course, if you DON’T have the vaguest interest in the work of H.P. Lovecraft, then this will have no use or hold no interest for you.  It’s a shame that a movie so deep and so well researched will hold interest for only a relative handful of people.

However, the Screenhead Ten Scale never cares about marketing, and thus hands Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown an eight out of ten for being a great example of documentary work.

Sometimes, you’ve got to have a bad idea to make a good movie.

This is the first ever, as far as I and Google can tell, review of the movie Hobocon, a screener of which I was given by the film’s three lead actors–Benny (Rob Couch), Doctor Boxcar (Jason Slingerland) and The Pixie (Wilhelm Rumpf)–during my recent appearance at Kuzuricon.

They propose one great and terrible idea: to go to Gencon, one of the biggest gaming conventions on the planet, and attempt to live there for three full days on nothing.

No money. No motel room.  No food.  But can they survive on the kindness and the good will of their fellow gamers, a collection of homemade pins that they intend to use as trade goods, as well as three misappropriated press badges (they’re not technically press) to get through three days?

The answer?  Yes, but just barely.  Sleep deprivation is not pretty.

They’re going to do a whole lot of things with this movie–you can get a general idea of what Gencon is, you can see some interviews on why people come to Gencon, and of course, tips on convention-going for the truly desperate, including “how to cadge free food”, “sleeping in anime rooms”, “night security guards are douchebags”,  and of course “hand sanitizer is your all-around hygienic friend”.

Naturally, this is a horrendously bad idea, but one thing is crystalline clear: this is a great movie if you’re even vaguely interested in the convention scene.  The Screenhead Ten Scale, meanwhile, recognizes that this is an excellent example of a movie only a handful of people will be interested in, and grants it accordingly an eight out of ten.  It’s only too bad that many people likely won’t care.