Screenhead

Michael Jackson’s spirit keeps shining at the box office in This Is It while Paranormal Activity takes second place.  The holiday season is approaching and The Christmas Carol opens today.  Let’s hope for a great Christmas with wonderful movies to entertain us.

1. Michael Jackson’s This Is It
$32,646,810 — $43,855,342

2. Paranormal Activity
$20,589,825 — $88,829,870

3. Law Abiding Citizen
$10,618,948 — $54,700,598

4. Couples Retreat
$8,985,755 — $89,551,510

5. Where The Wild Things Are
$8,324,373 — $65,043,335

6. Saw VI
$6,956,487 — $24,220,442

7. Astro Boy
$4,628,934 — $12,484,701

8. The Stepfather
$4,267,061 — $25,615,070

9. Amelia
$4,233,878 — $9,539,710

10. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant
$4,132,385 — $11,844,175

(Source)

Well…here we go.  Rumors about the next Transformers movie have emerged, and anything short of Michael Bay actually putting a proton cannon in his own mouth and tabbing the firing stud will be something of a disappointment.

But you’ve got to admit, the guy has made thinking big into an art form.  Long term Trans fans may not be wondering, but everyone else might wonder what’s next?  The answer may already have been given away via the Transformers 2 DVD, found on an Easter egg.

Here, let’s have some fun.  Guess the new secret huge feature for Transformers 3!

A. For some reason, QUINTESSONS! Finally!

B. Megatron will finally make the big move to Galvatron.

C. Out of nowhere, UNICRON!!

The answer, of course, is C.  Michael Bay must have some kind of mental disorder in which he must do everything bigger and louder than he did it before, and when he can no longer do bigger and louder, he must move on to something else.

Although I did enjoy Unicron, I’d still personally love to see those fabulously schizophrenic Quintessons get a piece of the action somewhere.  Why, I might even look forward to a Michael Bay movie if that were so!

Today I want to personally thank the Miller-McCune Group for blowing a whole lot of time and personnel dollars to engage in some serious spreadsheet fun, all meant to reveal one of the greatest truths of the media universe–not all critics are created equal, and some of them just love or hate things unaccountably.

As a token of my appreciation, the Miller-McCune Group will be receiving a large novelty pre-voided check for one hojillion dollars.

Anyway, they’ve built a whole lot of interesting graphs here revolving around a smattering of data from Metacritic, the critic amalgamation site that gives you a general idea of what a whole bunch of critics said.  On a side note, as though anyone would want that–I mean, come on…half the point of reading film criticism is to enjoy the wordplay and the clever comparisons and whatnot.  If you wanted raw numbers you’d play with a calculator.  You want the advance word from a person you can trust.

Some other interesting points include that Michael Wilmington might want to sleep with one eye open lest he be branded a quote whore sometime in the future (most of his work seems to be positive, and interestingly, so does Roger Ebert’s!  Ebert a quote whore?  Say it ain’t so!), Marc Savlov is a tough act to please, and Rene Rodriguez and Mick LaSalle seem to have the best balance of positive and negative work.

Look, I’ve said it before–the best thing you can do is find a critic you can trust.  And the only way you can do that is not with charts and graphs, but rather with a long term commitment and regular readings.  Find the one you know you can trust, and stick with them.  It doesn’t matter if it’s here at Screenhead or somewhere else (though we’d prefer it if it were here at Screenhead), just as long as you can trust it.

Excuse me if I’m not even VAGUELY surprised by this bit of news because, frankly, I saw it coming from a distance of several miles, metaphorically.

This chunk of news, that the national release of Gentlemen Broncos has been cancelled following an opening weekend best described as dismally mediocre, taking in just over six grand a theater for the weekend, and it essentially only opened in New York and Los Angeles.

If you’ve seen the trailer for this, what looks like a hallucinogenic pile of suck, you’ll know that it was 1. made by some of the same people who brought you Napoleon Dynamite, and considering how godawful that sludge was, that’s not exactly a promotional bell-ringer, and 2. it involves some of the most baffling science fiction since L. Ron Hubbard.

So it’s not a huge surprise that it went clean over most people’s heads (when’s the last time you heard someone say, man, I’m dying to see Gentlemen Broncos! in the same tone they said that about, say, Paranormal Activity?) and many of the ones who got it didn’t want it, so the opening was a slump and they pulled the plug on wide release, knowing they were about to get their hats handed to them by a slew of big name movies coming soon.

In the end, it was probably for the best.

See, I knew it.  I knew this was coming.  I knew that, somehow, Katie Featherston was going to burst onto the scene as, at the very least, the flavor of the week in Hollywood after the incredible success of Paranormal Activity.

One, she’s pretty good.  Two, that movie did unbelievably well.  But it’s actually one of the ballsiest things I’ve ever seen to consider what her next movie is.  It’s either phenomenal brilliance, stupidity or hubris for them to retitle Featherston’s next movie from Walking Distance to…

…Experimental Activity.

No, really.  They changed the title from “Walking Distance” to “Experimental Activity” JUST BECAUSE of Paranormal Activity.  Oh, sure, they’re downplaying the title change in interviews, but you know and I know and the half-blind family DOG knows that’s why they did it.

I’ve heard about…Experimental Activity…and it sounds like a pretty awesome movie regardless.  The question of the day, of course, is will more people follow because of the change…or in spite of it?

You know, folks, I’m not sure how this chunklet of news eluded me for as long as it did, but I’m glad I finally managed to catch up with it.  I know, I know, I only just covered the movie itself like a week ago, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but the fact remains that Paranormal Activity has at least three alternate endings.

And if you’ll follow the link here, you’ll be able to see this alternate ending for yourself.  You’ll probably discover, much the same way I did, that it’s a good thing they went with the ending they did as it’s much, much more interesting.

Though I wonder…was it?  Was it for the best?  After all, Paranormal Activity was a good movie in and of itself.  If the ending hadn’t been quite so satisfying, and they released the “alternate”, significantly BETTER, ending later, wouldn’t that just have sparked interest further?

Well, that’s neither here nor there as Paranormal Activity was a great movie with a fantastic ending as it was.

Johnny Depp may join Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, a film that is experiencing many, many casting and directing changes – yet is set for production this February.   

If Depp joined Jolie, he would play an American tourist drawn into a web of intrigue and danger by a female Interpol agent (Jolie) as she attempts to locate a criminal who was once her lover.

You may be asking yourself, wait…I thought Sam Worthington was playing this part or Tom Cruise.  You’re thoughts are correct but changes happen in the film biz fast and furious.  Even Charlize Theron was attached to play Jolie’s part.

I am not sure about all the directors, but Alfonso Curaron is at the head of the line to take on this juicy and plum gig.

I like the idea of Depp and Jolie working together on a spy thriller. Don’t you?

(Source)

Well, folks, since the “stop Uwe Boll” petition crapped out at just over three hundred fifty thousand signatures, well short of the million required to put an end to Herr Doktor Uwe Boll’s movie career once and for all, he’ll be coming out with a new movie called–get this–Darfur.

As always, it includes a preposterous mix of has-beens and almost A-listers like Matt Frewer (this one hit me especially hard), Edward Furlong (what, no Crow knockoffs hiring?), Kristanna Loken (yeah, the T-X Kristanna Loken) and Billy Zane (possibly as part of an arbitration agreement after his distribution company so clearly let down Herr Doktor for Postal) come together to bring us a movie about the war-and-genocide capitol of the world.

Oh, and the best part?  Seems Herr Doktor couldn’t be bothered to get copy editors around to make sure the trailer had no typos.  Follow this link to check it out for yourselves and see the wonder he has spawned.

I’ll admit though, the movie itself doesn’t look that bad for a change.  Maybe Boll outside of video game knockoffs isn’t a complete disaster, but we’ll have some time to wait before we find out.

It’s the Berenstain Bears.

Seriously, you remember this stuff?  If you were a child of the eighties like me, you might even remember that they’ve been in cartoon form since way back then, and apparently have had other versions since.  In fact, I’ve got YouTube of the original Berenstain Bears theme below.

Welcome back to the EIGHTIES.  Represent.

But anyway, someone–and here I’m referring to Night at the Museum director Shawn Levy–has apparently had the bright idea to take these childhood icons and turn them into a movie.  And somehow, a little part of me died inside when it remembered what Hollywood did to the Chipmunks.

There’s no word as yet on release dates, but somehow, this sounds like another grandiosely bland attempt on Hollywood’s part to wring a few fast bucks out of our childhood by gunning for name recognition indiscriminately and hoping for the best.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are set to host the 82nd annual Academy Awards live on the air March 7, 2009 on ABC.

Sounds like quite a gig for Baldwin while Martin has hosted the celebrated show twice before.

I don’t think either one is much of a song and dance man, perhaps Martin is a bit.

Should prove to be an interesting match.

Martin and Baldwin star in the movie It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep.  Enjoy this interview — funny!

(HQ) Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin – Interview on the Set of “It’s Complicated” – The best bloopers are here