So, okay, I’m jumping the season just a tick–not even the stores have their decorations up yet, but surely we’ve heard of Christmas In July? That and I haven’t actually seen it yet, so it’s on the list.
Anyway, this time we’re going up north, to get a better look at jolly old Saint Nick’s family life, including his disgruntled older brother Fred. Why is Fred disgruntled? Well, having a saint for a little brother can do that to you–especially when your little brother’s sainthood winds up making you immortal. And when you wind up as a repo man, often taking away the gifts that Santa brought for Christmas, it’s enough to leave you a little…well…bitter. And Fred’s no different. But after prevailing on his little brother for bail money, Fred’s forced to head to the North Pole to work off the bail money brother Nick provided. Will Fred be just the little extra punch Nick’s operation needs? Or will Christmas collapse under its own weight?
It didn’t take me long to enjoy this movie. In fact, it only took a few minutes to watch as character actor Vince Vaughn threw himself into a headlong run being chased by several Salvation Army Santa Clauses, and to watch as genius veteran actor Paul Giamatti waddled into frame in a fat suit, to firmly convince me that this at least had every chance of being a total comedy riot.
And there’s a lot to like about this movie–there are plenty of funny bits. For instance, when Nick introduces Fred to the Ten Most Naughty list, pause the DVD and read the descriptions. Some of these are priceless, if a little out of order. Just to show you what I mean, and spoiler just a couple, I really don’t see how “wore same underwear for seventeen days” qualifies you as MORE naughty than someone who “poisoned fourth grade class hamster”. You’d think murder puts you ABOVE poor hygiene on the naughty list, but hey. That’s Santa’s prerogative, I guess.
Okay, sure…on many levels you can see a lot of this coming. When even Family Guy can make jokes about Vince Vaughn’s career (”This is my impression of every Vince Vaughn movie ever: I’m utterly incapable of feeling love. Oh, wait–no I’m not.”), you know they’ve got a good reason. “Go after the easiest target ever” is pretty much the modus operandi out there, so you know that if they notice it it’s right out in the open. And yes, by all reasonable standards, this has been done unto death. But we’re not here for original thought. We’re here to hear an old chestnut told just a little bit differently, and frankly, the way they’ve told it is pretty sweet.
Sure, it’s trite. It’s cliched. It’s hackeneyed. Virtually every punch of the writing is telegraphed so hard it comes Western Union. But does that make it any less effective? No, not really. It’s still a force to be reckoned with. It does what it sets out to do, and in the end, can we ask for much more?
No, not really. Though this suffers from the albatross of cliches around its neck, it still manages to be entertaining and even a smidge heartwarming. A full six out of ten for getting the job done, but in the messiest fashion possible.
Screenhead has teamed up with the 
It’s been a bad, bad day for me so far, folks–the kind of day that’s got me about one more catastrophe away from throwing up my hands and retreating to Olive Garden for the rest of the afternoon.
Pearlman.