Screenhead

Well, folks…bad news.  Terrible news in point of fact.

Apparently, Herr Doktor Uwe Boll hasn’t had enough of destroying video game to movie translations yet, because he’s somehow gotten access to the Far Cry series.

A trailer has emerged, and man, is it a doozy.  It has all the hallmarks of a Herr Doktor film–halfassed plot, weak dialogue, and lots of explosions.  The trailer doesn’t look too bad, but I’ve seen enough decent trailers built out of horrendous movies.  Naturally I’ll reserve judgment until the actual product emerges, but you’ll excuse my skepticism.

This IS, after all, Herr Doktor we’re talking about here.  Seriously, does the guy have any GOOD movies to his credit?  Sure, Postal was a riot but even that was still pretty weak. It’s hard to imagine a Boll movie going over well at all.

And of course, we have the trailer right here for you, so settle in and enjoy this newest wreckage in the making.

I think we’re all still smarting from Jurassic Park 3, a lump of molten suck so thick and putrescent that it still hurts to even think about it years later.

So it’s not exactly a dose of good news to hear that the plans for Jurassic Park 4 are moving on as if nothing were wrong.  Joe Johnston, right now, is looking to direct, and apparently the script is already well in hand, because he’s been talking about how “great” the script is.

Apparently, this time around, the fourth one is going to start a new trilogy (!) and will be a completely different direction for the series.  If they want to do completely different, of course, what they’ll have to do it keep people off that stupid island to start with.

Me personally?  I give good odds that Wu’s stupid “lysine contingency” was as big a screw up as his “oh, they can’t breed” line of bullhonkery, which means that, chances are, a few of those original Isla Nublar dinosaurs–or maybe a few site-B Isla Sornas–got loose and are currently terrorizing Brazil.

We’ll have to wait a good long while before we find out what’s what, though.

The Hollywood actress is finally able to overcome life-long addiction through Narconon drug rehab program. As chronicled in her recent book High on Arrival, Mackenzie Phillips was introduced to the world of drug addiction at a very young age.

Once in awhile I’d catch “One Day at a Time” and thought the show was upbeat and kind of silly.  As a viewer, it wasn’t easy to tell that Phillips grew up in a family that used and abused drugs.  I guess,  looking back and knowing her dad was a rock star in the 60’s. Drugs were the norm, it all makes sense why someone like Phillips ends up on drugs.  

As she got older, Mackenzie’s drug use continued to increase, and as a result they continually crept into her professional life. Unable to maintain her lifestyle, she was asked to leave “One Day At a Time” and her drug use continued for many years, until last year Mackenzie finally found a solution to her problem – the Narconon Louisiana drug and alcohol rehabilitation program.

When she arrived at Narconon Louisiana, addicted to heroin and cocaine, Mackenzie had just been bailed out on felony drug possession charges. “I felt like my life was over,” she explains. “I’d had 10 years clean time in the past, but I felt defeated by my relapse.”

Once Mackenzie arrived at Narconon Louisiana she was given the opportunity to break free from her past. “At Narconon Louisiana I was welcomed into a family of amazing people who truly cared about me. I was given the opportunity to repair past difficulties, under the caring and watchful eye of the staff. The program has given me the freedom to move forward into my future, a future I did not think I had,” says Phillips.

The way the Narconon program achieved this was through a unique method that handles both the physical and mental aspects of addiction. During the first part of the program clients go through a sauna detoxification program, which eliminates residues that are left in the body by drugs and therefore reducing physical cravings for the drugs. The second half of the Narconon Program is a series of life skills courses, which restore an individual back to a productive, ethical, contributing member of society while raising their abilities to handle problems or difficulties.

Phillips is only lucky lady. I am sure she’ll do well.

(Source)

Well…here we go.  Rumors about the next Transformers movie have emerged, and anything short of Michael Bay actually putting a proton cannon in his own mouth and tabbing the firing stud will be something of a disappointment.

But you’ve got to admit, the guy has made thinking big into an art form.  Long term Trans fans may not be wondering, but everyone else might wonder what’s next?  The answer may already have been given away via the Transformers 2 DVD, found on an Easter egg.

Here, let’s have some fun.  Guess the new secret huge feature for Transformers 3!

A. For some reason, QUINTESSONS! Finally!

B. Megatron will finally make the big move to Galvatron.

C. Out of nowhere, UNICRON!!

The answer, of course, is C.  Michael Bay must have some kind of mental disorder in which he must do everything bigger and louder than he did it before, and when he can no longer do bigger and louder, he must move on to something else.

Although I did enjoy Unicron, I’d still personally love to see those fabulously schizophrenic Quintessons get a piece of the action somewhere.  Why, I might even look forward to a Michael Bay movie if that were so!

In what may well be the single most ominous portent at the theaters in quite some time, apparently the only thing standing between us and Blair Witch 3 is Lions Gate.

See, they own the movie rights right now, so it’s their call as to whether or not the project goes anywhere.  But the current word is, that if it does actually go to a movie, that the original cast will be brought back (it’s not like they’re doing anything anyway except maybe Josh Leonard who occasionally shows up in direct to video horror but usually does at least a passable job, credit where credit is due), and they will continue on as if all our fondest dreams had come true and Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows never actually existed.

Sigh…if only…

While I have to admit that the thought of a third (really second) Blair Witch leaves me somewhat cold, I suppose it could possibly be good if done properly, but I don’t imagine it likely.  But the success of Paranormal Activity will likely not be lost on Lions Gate, and a shot at Paranormal Activity cash will be plenty welcome in a down economy.

I’m aware that, chances are, after you read that headline above, you’re probably going to have a minor embolism.

Rest assured that you DID read that correctly, and by all accounts, someone, somewhere,  at Disney has greenlit a sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

You may not, however, be aware that Who Framed Roger Rabbit was actually based on an old conspiracy theory proven terrifyingly accurate about how a coterie of companies came together to take down the Los Angeles streetcar system and replace it with a freeway, which is pretty much what happened in the original.

There are some rumors that say that we’ll have much the same thing in this one, with another conspiracy theory being targeted and analogized to fit into a ninety minute cartoon / live action hybrid film.  Naturally there’s no proof of this as the script hasn’t even been started on yet, but the concept remains, and in all honesty, I’m looking forward to it!

I loved that film when I was a kid, and have fond memories of going along with a group of childhood buddies to catch it.  It was downright amazing.  And I can only hope that a whole new generation of kids will have the same opportunity to laugh at a moron bunny that I did.

What do Tom Cruise, Beck, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Giovanni Ribisi, Katie Holmes, and Paul Haggis all have in common? Why, they’re all members of the cult-I mean religion-called Scientology. That is, until this week when a letter written by Paul Haggis (director of Crash, writer of Million Dollar Baby and Casino Royale) to the “church” of Scientology was revealed.

Apparently, Haggis was infuriated by Scientology’s backing of California’s Proposition 8, which in 2008 made same-sex marriages illegal. Haggis wrote: “The church’s refusal to denounce the actions of these bigots, hypocrites and homophobes is cowardly. I can think of no other word. Silence is consent [...] I refuse to consent”. Haggis also criticised Scientology for putting pressure on Haggis and his wife to “disconnect” their lives from her grandparents’. And so, Haggis has quit.

What’s far more astounding is how on earth people can buy into this ridiculous cult. It was created by a crazy sci-fi writer who wanted to abuse the tax-breaks handed out to religions. How can anyone associate themselves with an organisation who charge people up to thousands of dollars for “personality tests” (haven’t they heard of facebook applications?), deny the existence of autism (which John Travolta’s recently deceased teenage son had), and forbid a woman from screaming during childbirth? Not to mention their hatred for psychiatry, their use of legal waivers forced upon those who join, and their tendency to harass and torment those opposed to or investigating them. It’s a secretive, money-grabbing, dangerous cult. And anyone who disagrees with me need only check out the Simpsons episode called The Joy of Sect, in which Springfield is controlled by a group known as the Movementarians. So well done, Paul Haggis, let’s hope the millions of others see sense and follow suit.

And here we go, folks–time to go the eternal round-de-round of denial and obfuscations and allegations that makes up pretty much every new announcement of any serious quantity.

Today, we’re tackling Lucasfilm’s recent related story that a new Star Wars trilogy was being planned.  And Lucasfilm reacted to this news item with the maturity and levelheaded sense that we’ve come to expect from major studios.

…okay, I couldn’t say that with a straight face. What they REALLY did was push libel like no tomorrow and blamed those darn Internet hoodlums.  Dig the word from Steve Sansweet, Head of Fan Relations at Lucasfilm:

“It wasn’t a news item. It was something that somebody made up. It’s totally totally ignorant and stupid, and even the people who picked it up and spread it along, said there’s no way this can be true. And of course there’s no way it can be true. You shouldn’t believe what you read on the Internet. Take everything with a big grain of salt.”

Yeah, okay…how many times have we heard THAT story before?  And if we shouldn’t believe what we read on the Internet, well, then we shouldn’t believe what ole Steve just spat out, either. He did,  paradoxically, issue his statement online to Movie Geek Feed.

Way to shoot yourself in the foot, jackass.

After hearing the various rumors flying around the Star Trek remake, which was still one of the all time greats as far as the Star Trek series specifically goes, and probably as science fiction in general goes, it was a surprise to catch up to this new chunklet of news.

Apparently, there’s talk that no less than William Shatner will be coming back to the second installment of the remade Star Trek.

J.J. Abrams himself is apparently looking at bringing Shatner on Board, saying that he “would love to work with him (Shatner)”, but the big problem was that “his character died on screen in one of his (Shatner’s) Trek films and we that we wanted to adhere to Trek canon”.  So let that be a lesson to you, kids…Shatner cares more about Shatner than he does established canon.

It’s pretty much shameful how Shatner’s been handling this pretty much since the inception of the Trek remake got started, so frankly, I’d sooner not see him back at all.  But if Abrams can work out a way, I’m willing to work with it.

I think I just about swallowed my own tongue when I heard the baffling and downright shocking news that George “Total Wackjob” Lucas was about to stage a new Star Wars trilogy.

But that was what I spotted mere minutes ago, folks, and it’s downright cringe-inducing.

Be advised, however, that this is GOSSIP.  From an outfit called Market Saw comes the following chunklets of possibility:

1. An actual three-part live-action Star Wars series is possibly coming out.

2. George Lucas will NOT be directing said titles. He will be producing only.

3. All three titles would be released in 3-D.

Well…anything’s possible, I suppose.  Considering the sheer amount of money these movies made, and considering the fact that there’s a whole lot of strangeness that could be happening either between episodes Three and Four or after Six or even before One or even at the same time in another part of the Galaxy Far Far Away, well, we could do just about anything with this.  And with George Lucas just signing checks, they might even be good.