Man, it’s just a big old day of mystery for you folks, isn’t it? Got to be just KILLING you! But don’t worry, you know your old buddy always takes care of you with the answers to his own questions in rapid fashion.
It’s Tim Allen, folks. Tim Allen is actually making a reappearance on the big screen this January. And even better, he’s directing. So for once, if something goes wrong with a movie, we know EXACTLY who to blame.
And surely it’s not the writer of the upcoming train wreck in the making, Crazy on the Outside, featuring the grunt machine himself as a former prison inmate released into the care of his family, who as it turns out, is insane.
Even worse, joining this fray are none other than otherwise decent character actors Sigourney Weaver and Ray Liotta. Now, Ray I understand. Poor guy needs a paycheck. But Sigourney, come on. Surely you can hold off the tax man until the Ghostbusters remake hits!
Well, they don’t call it the January Curse for nothing, kids–brace yourselves, because this is going to be a doozy.
Brad Pitt’s Plan B shingle is working on the development a film version of the upcoming video game Dark Void with Pitt possibly starring as the lead combatant. No writers have been hired as yet.
Void follows a cargo pilot named Will (Pitt’s presumed character) who, after crashing in the Bermuda Triangle, ends up in a parallel universe where a band of humans must fight an alien threat they had long been thought extinct. Will and the other humans are outmanned but have a number of weapons and powers to help them beat back the alien invasion.
In January, the game will be released for Windows, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.
Now, it is obvious that video games are not always successful at the box office like Max Payne. Dark Void, as a game, was purposely developed to appeal to wide-screen mindsets in which they see a world full of adventure in cinematic scope and magnitude.
Rachel McAdams is saying that she absolutely has NOT been cast in Spider Man 4 in the role of Black Cat.
This would be a pretty definitive response, all right…if it weren’t for one critical problem. The rumor is that she AUDITIONED. This is what she had to say:
“That’s a total rumor, I have to say,” going on to back up the story with a super-Canadian anecdote: “I was hanging out in Toronto the other day and someone came up to me and said, ‘I just heard you’re doing Spider-Man 4.‘ And I said, ‘Really? No one told me!’ It’s not true.”
There have been a lot of rumors swirling around the ether and the blogosphere alike about what’s going down with Spider Man 4. Everybody from Bruce Campbell to random toddlers has been mentioned. And now with Rachel McAdams possibly stepping in to play Black Cat (unless what she says is actually true), well, that’s just a little more fuel on the fire. You know we’ll be keeping an eye on this one!
So we’ve got a strange bit of news roaming around about the fourth installment of Spider Man, and it comes to us by way of a casting announcement that was made. Check THIS out:
[TODDLER BOY]
2 or 3 year old boy to play 2 year old, Caucasian with RED HAIR, an adorable toddler with an engaging personality, on set experience preferred. IDENTICAL TWINS ONLY
…yeah. Two year old Caucasian with red hair. We’re all pretty much aware that Mary Jane has red hair…so is it possible at this point that Spider Man might become Spider Dad? That’s entirely possible too, though it does kind of go against the established canon a bit.
Though let’s be honest…the established canon is in such tatters that there really isn’t a “going against it” at this point. For crying out loud, Spidey’s been retconned so many times it’s not even funny any more. He just sold his soul to Mephisto like ten, twelve issues ago.
Riddle me this…riddle me that…who’ll never show up in a movie about the Bat?
Simple answer: Dane Cook. Long answer: the same but it involves numerous non-work safe expletives, a brief seizure and cries about “any justice in the world”.
But that hasn’t stopped the thoroughly unfunny comedian from trying! He’s apparently trying to get his foot in the door of one of the Batman movies to try his hand at playing The Riddler, a concept that Jim Carrey pretty much destroyed for all time with HIS portrayal of same.
When asked how Cook would play such a role, possibly in sheer disbelief that the moron would even suggest such a sacrilege, Cook said that he’d play it like “The Crow…only more comedic”.
Like that putz even knows what comedy IS. Look, you want comedy? Go get Denis Leary. He’d make a sweet Riddler. Have some fun with it–get Gabriel Iglesias. A fluffy Riddler would be awesome. They could let out one of Matthew Lesko’s suits and we’d be off to the races!
Don’t worry, though, folks–as long as Chris Nolan’s in charge I doubt you’ll ever see Dane Cook in a Batman movie.
So despite all logic and good common sense, apparently Will Smith is planning to play a mentally handicapped janitor in Flowers for Algernon.
He’ll be both producing and starring in the film, a remake of the old novel in which the janitor in question, Charly, gets a surgical procedure done that augments his mind, making him a genius…but only for a while.
The end result is actually a pretty good story, so I look for this one to actually come off pretty well. In all honesty, Will Smith is actually a really good actor, so he should be able to put the necessary dramatic force and the endless duality into the role (he’s got to play a handicapped guy and a genius and then go back to handicapped while KNOWING he’s going back all at once).
He should be able to handle it, but I’ll reserve just a bit of skepticism as I’ve seen this kind of thing go wrong before.
Cecile de France, a Belgian actress, signed to star opposite Matt Damon in Clint Eastwood’s supernatural drama Hereafter.
Peter Morgan wrote the script that tells about three people who are touched by death in different ways. De France, whose credits include Russian Dolls and High Tension, will play a French journalist who has a near-death experience.
Eastwood started principal photography last month with filming taking place in San Francisco, London, Paris and Hawaii.
Johnny Depp may join Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, a film that is experiencing many, many casting and directing changes – yet is set for production this February.
If Depp joined Jolie, he would play an American tourist drawn into a web of intrigue and danger by a female Interpol agent (Jolie) as she attempts to locate a criminal who was once her lover.
You may be asking yourself, wait…I thought Sam Worthington was playing this part or Tom Cruise. You’re thoughts are correct but changes happen in the film biz fast and furious. Even Charlize Theron was attached to play Jolie’s part.
I am not sure about all the directors, but Alfonso Curaron is at the head of the line to take on this juicy and plum gig.
I like the idea of Depp and Jolie working together on a spy thriller. Don’t you?
Owen Wilson won’t be acting with a dog like he did in Marley & Me, this time he will be playing a dog as voice over for the rascally Great Dane Marmaduke.
The story is about family named the Winslows who move from Kansas to Orange County with their dog Marmaduke, a slobbery pooch who creates chaos wherever he goes. Once settled in the new home Marmaduke navigates volatile Mutts vs. Pedigrees turf war, woos the purebred of his dreams and overcomes a fall from grace.
Judy Greer, Lee Pace and William H. Macy play the humans, while Fergie, Emma Stone, George Lopez, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Steve Coogan, Damon Wayans, Marlon Wayans supply the voices for all the animals.
Man, it’s just a big old day of mystery for you folks, isn’t it? Got to be just KILLING you! But don’t worry, you know your old buddy always takes care of you with the answers to his own questions in rapid fashion.
Brad Pitt’s Plan B shingle is working on the development a film version of the upcoming video game Dark Void with Pitt possibly starring as the lead combatant. No writers have been hired as yet.
Rachel McAdams is saying that she absolutely has NOT been cast in Spider Man 4 in the role of Black Cat.
So we’ve got a strange bit of news roaming around about the fourth installment of 
Riddle me this…riddle me that…who’ll never show up in a movie about the Bat?
So despite all logic and good common sense, apparently 
Cecile de France, a Belgian actress, signed to star opposite 
Johnny Depp may join Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, a film that is experiencing many, many casting and directing changes – yet is set for production this February. 
Owen Wilson won’t be