Screenhead

Well…here we go.  Rumors about the next Transformers movie have emerged, and anything short of Michael Bay actually putting a proton cannon in his own mouth and tabbing the firing stud will be something of a disappointment.

But you’ve got to admit, the guy has made thinking big into an art form.  Long term Trans fans may not be wondering, but everyone else might wonder what’s next?  The answer may already have been given away via the Transformers 2 DVD, found on an Easter egg.

Here, let’s have some fun.  Guess the new secret huge feature for Transformers 3!

A. For some reason, QUINTESSONS! Finally!

B. Megatron will finally make the big move to Galvatron.

C. Out of nowhere, UNICRON!!

The answer, of course, is C.  Michael Bay must have some kind of mental disorder in which he must do everything bigger and louder than he did it before, and when he can no longer do bigger and louder, he must move on to something else.

Although I did enjoy Unicron, I’d still personally love to see those fabulously schizophrenic Quintessons get a piece of the action somewhere.  Why, I might even look forward to a Michael Bay movie if that were so!

It’s apparent that Guy Ritchie created a wildly, raucous movie about Sherlock Holmes.  The mix of suspense, laughter and craziness makes this movie a gem for the holiday season.  Jude Law and Robert Downey, Jr. play brilliantly off each other — a true kinship has formed.

A new trailer for Illumination Entertainment’s 3-D CGI Feature Despicable Me has just debuted online!   

The new Despicable Me trailer doesn’t reveal much about the movie, but it’s worth watching for enjoyment.  The movie includes a wonderful cast including Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Danny McBride, Miranda Cosgrove, Jack McBrayer, Mindy Kaling, Jemaine Clement and Julie Andrews.    

Movie will be in theaters July 9, 2010!

In a happy suburban neighborhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn.  Unbeknownst to the neighbors, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout.  Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), planning the biggest heist in the history of the world.  He is going to steal the moon. 

Gru delights in all things wicked.  Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way.  Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. 

The world’s (second) greatest villain has just met his greatest challenge: three little girls named Margo, Edith and Agnes. 

You know what…the trailer doesn’t show any of this story. You can see it at Apple.

Well, folks, since the “stop Uwe Boll” petition crapped out at just over three hundred fifty thousand signatures, well short of the million required to put an end to Herr Doktor Uwe Boll’s movie career once and for all, he’ll be coming out with a new movie called–get this–Darfur.

As always, it includes a preposterous mix of has-beens and almost A-listers like Matt Frewer (this one hit me especially hard), Edward Furlong (what, no Crow knockoffs hiring?), Kristanna Loken (yeah, the T-X Kristanna Loken) and Billy Zane (possibly as part of an arbitration agreement after his distribution company so clearly let down Herr Doktor for Postal) come together to bring us a movie about the war-and-genocide capitol of the world.

Oh, and the best part?  Seems Herr Doktor couldn’t be bothered to get copy editors around to make sure the trailer had no typos.  Follow this link to check it out for yourselves and see the wonder he has spawned.

I’ll admit though, the movie itself doesn’t look that bad for a change.  Maybe Boll outside of video game knockoffs isn’t a complete disaster, but we’ll have some time to wait before we find out.

Sam Worthington is looking good in a collection of posters.  First Showing has a whole collection of them and they are worth a look.  Some sites have had to take them off their site because Warner Bros. made a strong request to do so. 

Apparently, they are not the official posters, but creative mock-ups for decision makers, I suspect.

I don’t know how long these will be available to see, but check them out while you can.  Does any one know when the movie opens in the theaters?

Remember how, when I wrote about The Haunting of Winchester House, how GREAT I thought it was that The Asylum was finally getting out of the mockbuster trend and no longer Asylumizing movies?

Sadly, that’s all gone as The Asylum releases 2012 Supernova, which is pretty much taking on 2012.  The only problem is that, of course, The Asylum doesn’t have anywhere NEAR the cash required to make those kind of special effects.

The plot, though, is actually pretty interesting–two hundred years ago, a star exploded and launched an enormous wave of radiation.  Sadly, two hundred years ago was apparently during the War of 1812, because it’s about to hit in much-popularized 2012.  So now a group of scientists is out to launch a whole load of nukes into the upper atmosphere so they can augment the Earth’s natural anti-radiation shielding.

I’ll admit, though, that The Asylum clearly does the best it can with what it has to work with.  What baffles me, though, is that they try to take on this monster projects with the most minimalist budgets you can imagine.  It’s like trying to eat a Ho-Ho the size of a Buick, and doing it with a knife and fork.

The result, however, of trying to load a bunch of AA batteries in a space designed for a Diehard is that the whole thing has this vaguely repetitive feel in which a simulated disaster happens, then we react to that disaster, then another one happens, and so on and so forth without much in the way of an overarching plotline to hold it all together.

There will be plenty of thrills here–watching people try to escape from things blowing up and whatnot–but are these thrills going to be enough to hold the overall picture together?  Well, that’s your call, in the end.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, meanwhile,  isn’t so impressed and thus hands the newest Asylum knockoff a fair enough five out of ten.  it clearly tried, but it just couldn’t tackle what it set out to try.

And I don’t mean A Terminator, either.  I mean the whole shooting match. Lock, stock, boxtop and rights.  You too can own the rights to a pretty successful franchise that usually costs plenty to exploit, though it usually makes its money back.

Interestingly, though, Joss Whedon actually made an offer for the Terminator rights, but it was significantly less than the current owners wanted:  a whopping ten grand.

He even had some pretty sweet ideas, including branching out into porn (cue that wa-wa pedal guitar!) and even doing a musical.  He thought twice about the musical, but I say it could work.  I’ve actually got part of the opening song already written and would be happy to contribute for the low, low cost of ten percent of the grosses.  You’re welcome, in advance.

But seriously, this is a move that might actually end well, assuming the right people get a hold of the rights.  I doubt they’ll get the twenty five million they want for them, though.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan is available on Blu-ray Hi-Def and DVD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment. For the first time ever, fans can experience the uncut and uncensored story of humanity’s futuristic fight for survival through the eyes of their deadly adversaries, the Cylons. 

Watching some of the scenes in The Plan are only appropriate for an R-rating.  If you are a Battlestar Galactica fan, you’ll love this movie because all the familiar characters are in the story. 

This never-before-seen perspective of the Cylon plan reunites the series’ original television cast, including Emmy Award winner Edward James Olmos (Stand and Deliver), Dean Stockwell (JAG), Tricia Helfer (Burn Notice), Grace Park (The Cleaner) and Callum Keith Rennie (Californication). 

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan includes the uncensored 90-minute feature and revealing bonus features that take viewers onto the set of the most unexpected twist ever in the intergalactic saga’s history. Interactive features available exclusively on Blu-ray Hi-Def include the new Battlestar Galactica Trivia Game, plus stunning visuals with perfect picture and the purest digital sound available and no commercials!

Screenhead has a copy of Battlestar Galactica: The Plan to give away to a lucky winner.  Post your name and we will pick the winner Monday, November 23, 2009.

To break bread with Edward James Olmos, known to the vast legion of Battlestar Galactica fans as “Admiral Adama” is an occasion as rare as the Eye of Jupiter! However, one lucky Battlestar Galactica fan will be granted this very special opportunity, should he or she prove worthy! Go to www.ugo.com/battlestarcontest for details on how you can share a dinner table with the Admiral himself, Edward James Olmos!

I’ve got to give a hand to Disney for making the first Prince of Persia trailer very compelling while letting us in on the story. Usually, first trailers try to tease us, so we are asking for more information about the story and that can be not so fun. 

Disney’s first trailer of Prince of Persia tells us what the story is about and we get a flavor of the tongue and cheek between the prince and the princess, although I am not quite sure what  Ben Kingsley’s role is, accept he is the bad guy.  Is he also interested in the princess or does he just want the dagger?