Screenhead

It’s not often that this humble website sees a true exclusive. With the DVD of Casino Royale recently out, Universal Artists were in a good mood. In fact, they were so nice that this lucky blogger had an opportunity to see a cut of Bond 22, a very generous offer considering the film isn’t due until the Summer of 2008. Below is a review of what I saw, which supposedly is the locked-off cut.

I’ll try to keep it spoiler free, although considering the attention spans of the average person, this review will fade into obscurity in a matter of minutes. I was a fan of Bond as a kid, although admittedly I was brought up on the Roger Moore Bonds, meaning I find any of the others rather dull and serious for obeying the laws of physics. But to be honest, I gave up on Bond when he ended up in bed with a man in A View to a Kill. Last year saw the revival with Bond Begins, or Casino Royale as it was actually known as. Daniel Craig played the hero with a new intensity (as opposed to Timothy Dalton, who just looked constipated), though for me a film that climaxes with a card game isn’t exactly the pinnacle of entertainment. So does the new Bond film improve on the revived spy?

Bond 22, or The World Only Lives Tomorrow as it’s tentatively entitled, continues on from the objectifying and sexualising of Craig in the last film. This time, instead of a sexy homage to Dr. No with Craig prowling onto to beach, the film opens with a butt-naked Craig strutting his way out of a frozen lake. Why he is doing this is never explained, all I know is that it ensures erect nipples and tight pecs. Strolling into a stately manor, Bond encounters a naked adversary. After an odd smile, the two commence wrestling each other into submission. It’s a strange scene, and I really didn’t get why a model airplane was placed in the middle foreground as we see Bond walking away in profile from his exhausted enemy, but oh well.

This takes us into the latest Bond theme tune by rock band The Killers, “He Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Jesus (But he Keeps on Coming Back)”. It’s not a bad song, but I didn’t particularly enjoy the lavish opening sequence. Instead of silhouetted women prancing, we instead see shadowed men floating about for 2 minutes. But it just didn’t work. I’m no sexist, it’s just a lot less aesthetically pleasing when the male silhouettes haven’t restrained their dangly bits, which bounce around the place like the wind socks at Chicago airport.

The plot sees Bond defect from the British Secret Service. They want him as a brunette, he wants to stay blonde. Through a series of inexplicable circumstances, Bond ends up on a journey that takes him around the world, from the Seychelles to Virginia, from Machu Picchu to Leitrim, posing as a kidney (left) in order to hunt down a leading figure in the black market who is putting black hair dye in blonde packaging. Of course, there’s plenty of typical Bond moments. A young Q appears to aid Bond with some gadgetry. When shown a condom, Bond scoffs at it until Q convinces him that it’s actually a homing beacon, and of actual use.

Running just over 3 hours, the film feels a little long. And with Paul Haggis helming the screenplay, most of the time consists of over-elaborate, blatant debates about racial issues. There’s just something not right about Bond lecturing about “affirmative action” and “meritocracy” to an Aryan enemy for 23 minutes before slapping him senseless.

While I feel Craig is a good Bond, some of this film’s casting decisions leave a lot to be desired. Abbie Cornish is the latest Bond Girl, and makes our hero look more like a paedophile than a spy. And with Samuel Jackson playing the villain, there’s plenty of manic laughter, but a little too much use of the word “motherfucker” for my taste.

Overall, The World Only Lives Tomorrow isn’t a bad flick. Updating Bond has seemed to have worked in the eyes of most, but I wonder if this film has gone too far. While Casino Royale used the exhilarating sport of parkour, having this film climax with a hip-hop dance-off between Bond and the villain may not delight hard-core fans of the franchise. But with the filming dealing with issues from African-American Civil Rights to homosexuality, I’m sure this film will establish a Bond with a new audience.