Everyone has had the experience of having a movie ruined. (By something other than what’s on the screen, that is.) I have vivid memories of seeing Peter Jackson’s King Kong in the theater. Unfortunately, I don’t remember hearing much of it.

Regal Cinemas, however, has found a way to (I hope) put a stop to that.

The company, which owns about 500 theaters (including more than a handful here in Oregon), has introduced the Regal Guest Response System (RGRS), essentially an anonymous tattletale device that allows one randomly selected moviegoer to alert the management of four different infractions: sound problems, picture problems, piracy, and, most importantly, “other disturbances.”

In other words, we now have a way to kick yappers and crying babies out of our movies. Finally! This, my friends, is a cause for celebration. Sure, the device has a lot of potential for abuse, although I’m sure that managers could just take the device away and give it to someone else. But the potential advantages here are enormous. At the very least, it could put some civility back into the theater.

So, here’s two experiences that sprang instantly to mind when I heard Regal was going to begin use of the device in 114 of its theaters. Got any that can top mine?

I’m something of a Kubrick nut, and I was dying to see Eyes Wide Shut, as it would be my first (and, sadly, only) Kubrick premiere. I had deliberately avoided plot spoilers and previews for months, so I could experience it free of expectations. Unfortunately, the projector’s bulb at the cineplex was at the end of its life, and produced an annoying flicker throughout the film. I complained (twice) to the candy-pushers, to no avail. Finally, after the movie was done, I spoke with the manager, but it was too late. In hindsight, I should have just walked out and seen it later, but that’s a big chunk of my day there wasted.

This one’s the real topper, though.

My friend Randy, an audio/video nut, had done the responsible thing and left his (sometimes) crying baby at home so we could see Kong at a theater with digital sound and reportedly the biggest (non-IMAX) screen in Portland, Oregon. Unfortunately, said theater is also in one of the roughest areas of the city, rumored to be rife with Russian gangs. Naturally, when a group of four or five linebacker-size youths with strong Russian accents sat behind us, I was apprehensive, but willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

They began talking during the obligatory pre-preview ads. But so what? They’re ads.

Unfortunately, the talking continued through the previews, and through the entire film. Sure, it usually hit a lull during the loud-as-hell action sequences, but as soon as the effects died down, the talking resumed. I shot them a few ugly looks, but decided against alerting the manager for fear that they might decide to wait for me outside of the theater. (Yes, it’s a pansy decision, but you should have seen the guy.) I know I wasn’t the only one that was annoyed, but none of us was willing to take the hit. Maybe if we’d had a wireless tattletale on-hand, we could have been spared the annoyance (and a beating).

Those instances have been, thankfully, pretty rare, but are still frequent enough that this sort of program can make a huge difference in the moviegoing experience, if only in customer goodwill.

Good work, Regal!

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