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I will be the first to admit that this is a subjective live. Everybody knows of a movie title that you think is about one thing, but is actually about something else. After all Monster’s Ball sounds like vampires and other creatures of the night having a party. And what do you tell the ticket seller when the movie is titled Phffft or $? For your consideration are five of the dumbest movie titles ever -

5. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. I would say that the ideal double feature companion would be You are What You Eat. Maybe if you’re a cannibal, it’s you are who you eat. Make sure to be armed with a sharp knife and a bottle of French Dressing.

4. Tomorrow Never Dies. Actually tomorrow dies when it becomes today, after which it’s really dead when it becomes yesterday. I like my James Bond films with titles that make sense, like Octopussy.

3. Ghost in the Invisible Bikini. I see naked dead people. If normally you can’t see a ghost, how can you tell what they’re wearing? I actually saw part of this film and believe me, the ghost is cute but that invisible bikini was a waste of a small special effects budget. This was the last of the Beach Party movies from the mid-Sixties. Dishonarable mention goes to the second worst beach movie title: How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.

2. The Rats are Coming! The Werewolves are Here!. I admit it. I’m confused. If your life is threatened by werewolves, than wouldn’t vermin seem like an added annoyance? True story (according to the Internet Movie Database: filmmaker Andy Milligan, a legendary cheapskate, wouldn’t hire a wrangler and found himself which a bunch of rats that he needed to get rid of. Milligan proposed an ad campaign in which theatergoers could get a free live rat. There is no truth to the rumor that a similar giveaway will be done in conjunction with a forthcoming movie.

1. The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?. If you want to see the real grindhouse, look no further than filmmaker Ray Dennis Steckler. I pity the poor shmoe who had to put this title on the theater marquee. Steckler was so cheap, that his rip-off of the Batman television show, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo was released without changing the typo in that title.

I’m sure readers have their own ideas of worst movie titles, so feel free to make your comments known.

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It’s effect on the box office is usually minimal, but ask almost any filmmaker, and they will tell you they love being recognized at the Cannes Film Festival. With all of the film festivals going on world wide, the Cannes film festival is still the most prestigious. It is also the only one that requires men to wear tuxedos at the evening screenings of the films in competition.

I was hoping the bosses at Screenhead would send Richard and me to Cannes so we could continue our popular dialogue on Death Proof. That’s not going to happen. However, a revised version of Death Proof will be in competition this year. For those who forgot, Quentin Tarantino was the big prize winner at Cannes for Pulp Fiction. The opening night film, My Blueberry Nights is the English language debut of Wong Kar-Wai. Coincidentally, Wong recieved his first major introduction to U.S. audiences when Tarantino “presented” Chungking Express.

The Coen Brothers were big winners for Barton Fink which did mild box office when it was released. O Brother, Where Art Thou? received no awards, was given mixed reviews, and then surprised Disney by becoming a word of mouth hit. Joel and Ethan Coen’s new film, No Country for Old Men will premiered at Cannes befoe the rest of us get to see it. A frequent Cannes favorite, Gus Van Sant, will also show his newest film Paranoid Park.

Cannes newbies include James Gray with We Own the Night. Based on his last film, The Yards, I’m looking forward to this one. Also David Fincher’s Zodiac is in competition. This year Cannes has a larger number of films of the twenty that hope to be prize winners. The festival begins May 19th.

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Steven Spielberg’s latest project, “The Pacific” which is bound for HBO, is set to start filming in August. The new mini-series is a companion piece to “Band of Brothers”. Tom Hanks joins Spielberg as executive producer for the project. The World War II epic will air on HBO in 2009.

Filming will be done for the ten show Epic in Melbourne, Australia, a location were many United States soldiers stopped before heading to the Pacific Islands to do battle. The show is bringing in a big boon for the economy of Melbourne with estimates saying it will bring in $150 Million dollars to the economy.

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Paramount Pictures issued a press release with information about the premiere of Shrek the Third. As you probably expect, it will be a star studded affair as the entire cast that worked on the popular voices will be the there. Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, Justin Timberlake, and Larry King among many others who worked on the film are going to be at the event. Other onlookers, who are not involved with the film but will be attending include, Mary J. Blige, Val Kilmer, and Ray Liotta among many more.

If you haven’t been keeping up with the Shrek’s since your last visit to the theater, here is what is going on. Shrek and company are faced with the daunting task of finding a suitable king after Fiona’s father passes away unexpectedly. Shrek, nor Fiona, want the task of running things so they turn to Fiona’s who turns out to be nothing but trouble.

The premiere is set for Sunday, May 6, 2007 at Mann’s Village Theater. The event will begin in the morning so arrive early if you plan on gawking at the stars. The movie hits wide release on May 18th.

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The movie industry is all about glitz and glamor and when someone doesn’t look right the paparazzi has a field day. That isn’t deterring Roger Ebert, long time columnist at Chicago Sun Times and popular television personality, from public appearances.

Left looking disfigured and unable to talk since surgery remove cancer from his facial area, Ebert has called out the paparazzi to take pictures of him writing in his column this week, and borrowing from Gone With the Wind, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Ebert will be making an appearance at his 8th annual ‘Overlooked Film Festival’ which spotlights movies that he feels didn’t get enough credit. The festival runs until Sunday night.

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Disney is so proud of their newest Pixar film that they are inviting you to view a lengthy 9 minute scene on their site beginning the first of May. “We really feel like we’ve got the most original movie of the summer and we can’t wait to show it to people,” stated Jim Gallagher, President of Walt Disney Studios Marketing, “In a summer of sequels, we believe that inviting users to sample a chunk of the next masterpiece from Pixar is the most impactful way of demonstrating the film’s fresh comedy and originality. The Internet gives us the opportunity to do this without the limitations of traditional media and we think that this stunt allows us to cut through an increasingly crowded marketplace.”

 Disney is pulling out all stops promoting the new Pixar film including a 90 second advert on American Idol that will air Tuesday.

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The Bruce Lee penned Circle of Iron hits stores on May 29th. Lee fans will know that the legend thought that this would be his greatest film achievement , but died before he could see his dream realized.

The Special Edition DVD will feature plenty of bonus features (listed below). The film stars David Carradine, Jeff Cooper, Christopher Lee, and was directed by Richard Moore.

DVD Special Features:

Disc 1:

• Audio Commentary with Director Richard Moore
• Theatrical Trailers
• TV Spots

Disc 2:

• Playing the Silent Flute – Interview with Star David Carradine
• The Producer – Interview with Co-Producer Paul Maslansky
• Karate Master – Interview with Martial Arts Coordinator Joe Lewis
• Audio Interview with Co-Writer Stirling Silliphant
• Bruce Lee’s The Silent Flute: A History By Davis Miller & Klae Moore
• Poster & Still Galleries
• First Draft Script By Bruce Lee, James Coburn & Stirling Silliphant (DVD-ROM)

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You won’t see Bull Durham or Field of Dreams on the list, sorry Kevin Costner fans.

Number 5: Bang the Drum Slowly: 1973 tearjerker that can bring a grown man to cry (of course not Frank the Tank). Stars Robert De Niro in what Al Pacino cites as his favorite movie. Interesting fact is that De Niro got the role after Pacino backed out of the film because he landed the part in what became his legendary ‘Godfather’ role Michael Corleone.

Number 4: The Pride of the Yankees: 1942 Biopic in which Gary Cooper plays legend Lou Gehrig. Was nominated for Ten Oscars. Voted #38 in the American Film Institute list of the 100 greatest movie quotes of all time. Yankee legend Babe Ruth has a small part as himself in the film. Another tearjerker.

Number 3: Eight Men Out: Great look at the 1919 Chicago White Sox and the gambling scandal that shook up the baseball world. The film was released in 1988 and stars, among others, John Cusack.

Number 2: The Bad News Bears: 1976 film in which Walter Matthau plays Morris Buttermaker an alcoholic ex professional player. Shows obsessed parents and their desire re-live their youths through their children. Great movie that in all its politically incorrectness in today’s day and age really still hits the mark.

Number 1: The Natural: As cheesy as the movie is, and yes it is cheesy, the movie delivers on so many levels. The epic score throughout the movie and Robert Redford’s portrayal of Roy Hobbs are truly memorable. What I think really makes this movie is that Redford really looks like a baseball player and can swing a bat. The movie, originally in the theaters in 1984, was reissued this month on DVD with bonus scenes and goodies like a New York Knights cap. I recommend the Collectors Edition if you are a fan of this movie.

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Check out Variety for some big news on the future of X-Men releases. The Hollywood Reporter for the news on the passing of Jack Valenti. And the Big Film Festivals that are going on here and here. New Harry Potter 5 Game Trailer.

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