I really don’t know why I’m surprised. The word ‘farce’ in the title should have been a dead giveaway. This was a complete waste of time for anyone who had anything to do with this movie, including me.

Farce Of The Penguins is Bob Saget’s ‘humorous’ parody on the award winning French film, March Of The Penguins. Instead of smart and witty commentary about the lives of these artic birds, Saget interjects poorly written and boring commentary about their sexual habits and digestive systems. Led by Samuel L. Jackson, a large cast of comedians and recognizable voices try to give these creatures personalities and senses of humor, but mostly they’re all just a collection of one-liners. It was all really disappointing.

While watching this, I could only imagine how little of an effort was made to create such an unimaginative film. It literally appears that Saget called up a bunch of his friends (including some Full House cast mates), threw them all in a recording booth, and just told them to ‘wing it’. I must of taken him minutes of preparation and hard work to produce this travesty. Halfway through the picture there is even some self-deprecating dialogue between a few of the voices about the film itself. Truly the last cheap attempt at a couple of laughs. Even with all of that, it wasn’t until the voice of Carlos Mencia (he is NOT funny) made it’s appearance when I completely wrote off the movie all together. If I had a gun, I would have shot my DVD player. I may set the DVD on fire just for kicks though. Avoid this movie at ALL costs.

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Here the latest, and in my humble opinion, the best trailer so far for German director Werner Herzog’s upcoming film, Rescue Dawn. Herzog has strayed away from fictional features in recent years, possibly due to the immensely disappointing Invincible. Instead, he stuck to exploring oddities in the human condition through the art of documentary, with Grizzly Man being a fascinating account of one man’s salvation through an endangering bond with wild bears.

Rescue Dawn is actually loosely based on one of his documentaries, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, tracing the story of a pilot shot down during the Vietnam war and imprisoned for months, only to scrape to escape. In this fictionalised account, the ever wonderful Christian Bale plays the protagonist in thick American drawl, and utmost intensity. Read on »

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Unlike water and vinegar, Blood And Chocolate mixes well and tastes great. Then after about two minutes you realize it didn’t taste as good as you thought it did. Plain, but still enjoyable.

From the producers of Underworld, we get another movie about mythical creatures that go bump in the night. The film takes us to present day Romania and gives a glimpse into the legend of what the locals call the Loup-Garoux, which is just a fancy way of saying ‘werewolves’. Vivian is one of these werewolves, although she’s not too into it. She likes to go on morning runs, drink Absinthe, and make little chocolate candies just like your average European teenager (says the movie anyway). She hates the fact that her family says she’s meant for great things when she only wants to be a normal girl. When her strive for normalcy involves a young American artist, her world is turned upside down when she is forced to fight her own brethren for what she believes in.

There were numerous signs telling me not to see this movie. First was the title itself, Blood And Chocolate. I pictured a rouge pastry chef when I heard that. Then it was the premise. There have been far too many werewolf and vampire movies made and most of them were less than bankable. Finally it was the publicity. If you’ve seen the trailer (which I’m sure most of you haven’t due to the severe lack of marketing), you’ve basically seen the movie and know everything about it. In addition to that, all I’ve heard were bad things. I actually had no good reason to go see it, but I’m always intrigued by what I’m supposed to hate, as everyone should.

This film was surprisingly not horrible. It was not stupendous either. It was just a decent movie about the forbidden love of a woman and a man. Well, a werewolf and a man. There was minimal blood, minimal death, and all-around minimal action. In a nearly empty, evening showing, I was definitely able to enjoy the movie. It’s when I walked out to my car that I decided it really wasn’t that great or anything special. Wait for the rent and you can enjoy it at home.

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The little film festival that started as a punk reply to the bigger, more established Sundance Festival has
gotten bigger. In it’s thirteenth year, the Slamdance Film Festival received 36,000 entries for 100 slots, and attracted an audience of 20,000 people.

Now you know why Park City gets so crowded in January! The following is the list of winners from the alternative film festival -

Read on »

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Once upon a time it seemed that movies just needed one producer to get filmed. Back in the day, David O. Selznick would get his Oscar for producing Gone with the Wind and trot out the next year to pick up an award for Rebecca.

Nowadays it seems that a small army of producers is required to make even the smallest independent films. In the meantime, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences decided there were too many people crowding the podium to take credit for producing the Best Pictures. Last year, Bob Yari had to settle for a shout out when Crash won.

This year, a group of twenty producers decided Brad Gray, one of the four credited producers on The Departed could not go onstage if the film won. There is now a limit of three producers per film according to current Oscar rules. A Reuters report seems to indicate professional jealousy on the part of other producers due to Gray’s position not only as the producer of one Oscar nominated film, but also the CEO and chairman of Paramount, which has Babel up for the Best Picture Oscar as well.

If “The Departed” wins, only Graham King will be allowed to take the award while the other producers with on-screen credits, Gray, Martin Scorsese, and some guy named Brad Pitt will have to settle for applauding from their seats. In addition to being behind the scenes on two films up for Best Picture, Gray will get to watch Sherry Lansing, the production chief he replaced at Paramount, get the Thalberg Award for humanitarian
services.

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News about The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan’s sequel to Batman Begins, is trickling through the grapevine. The best news I’ve heard recently is from a report by Latino Review, stating that Katie Holmes will not be returning.

I could not be more delighted, considering her performance was atrocious. She played lawyer Rachel Dawes, a character with deep moral integrity and driving ambition. Holmes just did her Dawson Creek looks which may convince an audience of sentimental teens, but was embarrassing in this film.

There has been no confirmation why Holmes will not be returning, but I’m guessing the film’s makers spotted the weakest link. However, the character of Dawes will be returning, making her the first Batman love-interest in a movie to return.

The other interesting news is that the character of Two-Face has yet to be cast. Rumour has it that two actors are being sought out for the role, namely Ed Norton and Jamie Foxx. While Ed Norton has the potential to do well, due to the great acting range his career has displayed, I really hope Foxx doesn’t get the role. I doubt he has the talent for bipolar insanity. That said, he’d be better than Tommy-Lee Jones’s camp and painfully awful over-the-top portrayal in Batman Forever. Read on »

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<a href=”http://www.cybertheater.com/square-cd-player/”>Square CD Player</a>

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Child star Dominic Scott Kay (pictured) who appeared in Minority Report and voiced Wilbur the pig in Charlotte’s Wen has not only directed a short film, he’s also suing the producer for creative control.

The short film, titled Saving Angelo, stars Kay himself (he also wrote it, the little auteur) as well as Kevin Bacon (who Kay worked with on Bacon’s film Loverboy) as a boy who finds an injured dog and takes it to a firehouse.

Conroy Kanter put up $11,000 to finance the film, but apparently got a case of the Harvey Weinsteins.

“She wanted to make all the decisions and stuff,” Kay said. “She wanted final cut and everything.” Apparently she also wants control over the film exploitation, which has prevented the 10 year old from entering his film at Sundance. You can see a PDF of the legal action here. (you may need to register with the LA Times first, don’t worry it’s free).

There’s a lesson for Kay and Kanter here. Kay has experienced the harsh realities of making films with other people’s money when most of us are still learning multiplication. Kanter will undoubtedly learn that there’s no way to win a popularity contest against a 10 year old filmmaker.

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The Hollywood remake of awesome Korean revenge flick Oldboy looks like it could be off, with proposed director Justin Lin letting slip that he doesn’t think it will happen.

Seems things aren’t quite coming together as he wanted and he doesn’t want to disrespect the original film with a shoddy remake. Fair enough. Hollywood remakes aren’t necessarily a bad thing, especially when they produce films like The Departed, but it’s best they’re not just bashed out half-heartedly.

Oldboy is about a man inexplicably imprisoned in a hotel room for 15 years, who is suddenly released and goes on a big haired vengeance spree (though there’s a little more to it than that) so maybe it will be appropriate if the remake takes 15 years to come out.

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Kevin Bacon is a genius. He’s taken the famous Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game (click the link if you don’t know what it is - but it’s been around since 1994 so you really should know by now). Inspired by Paul Newman’s tasty charity salad dressing, he’s turned the game into a way to give.

Visitors to SixDegrees.org can click on a celebrity, find out what that celebrities favourite charity is, and then make a donation. Alternatively, if you have your own brain and don’t just want to copy whatever Ashley Simpson does, you can be the face of your own favourite charity.

Watch the YouTube video of KB himself explaining how it works.

via Carpetbagger

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