Dallas Campbell's comedy short in which a desperate woman holds up a sperm bank, but is disarmed by a sympathetic and conveniently lonely security guard. Almost more amusing than the film is the fact that the first-time producers raised the funds for this short by asking every man they met to donate their sperm and give the proceeds to the film. As Malcolm McLaren once sang, you need hands, eh?

No Deposit, No Return [BBC film network]