· 'Satanist' dances on Reagan's grave, posts photos on Net, presidential library mum about incident. Dong resin nearly wets himself.

· Douglas Adams fans that we are, when they found that new tiny planet on the outskirts of our solar system we mumbled mentally to ourselves "they should call that Rupert." We were not alone.

· Old Grandma Hardcore - "This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her."

By the way, anyone else notice a huge increase in granny porn spam since the Howard Stern show started with that infernal geriatric porn sample on the show? Thanks for tossing that godawful snowball down the slope, Howard.

· YOUR CHILD IS PROBABLY GOING QUEER AS YOU READ THIS. Once you determine that your child is indeed going queer and hence straight to hell, we have some medicinal leeches we'd like to sell you.

· Find some coffee near you that doesn't taste like a used duraflame log dipped in stem cells.

· The Mr. Suicide Bathtub Plug. We covet.

· Selections from The Punk Vault [Serial Killers]

· "Employing MacGyver-like ingenuity, Carlos Isordia just captured the man who apparently had been repeatedly burglarizing his Oklahoma home. The intruder, it seems, kept coming back to swipe the undergarments of Isordia's wife. When cops searched the arrestee's home, they found 55 pounds--that's right, 55 pounds--of undies stashed in a large red cooler. "

· Goofy Dead Pets Flash game promo thing for forthcoming book by Sam Leith.