Because things are bad. Because all the modern captains do what they’re told. Because girdle technology has come a very long way since the 60s. Because tribbles do it like drunk sophomores and they’re piling up, cloging the low rent spaceports causing the chain coffee joints to stay in the suburbs. Because there are still green chicks out there who want some white meat. Because wigs never stop being wigs, and because even on those rare moments when he’s well lit Bakula looks like Dudley Do-Right eating a lime.

“The idea of James T. Kirk ending up falling off a bridge and splatting on the base of a mountain has boggled the minds of Trek fans for years.”

Sadly, we believe you.

Bring Back Kirk, The Official Site.