Screenhead : Oddities

The Getty Address an opera about Don Henley by Dirty Projectors

The Dirty Projectors continue revealing the heretofore unknown saga of Don Henley with The Getty Address. The first chapter in the series, Time Birthed Spilled Blood, was popular enough to become a finalist in the 2006 SXSWclick festival

In the next, Gilt Gold Scabs, Don Henley enters the wilderness and inadvertently jump starts the civilized evolution of a kangaroo tribe. And in Warholian Wigs, Don Henley takes his hormones out on mother earth.

Weekly World News Scribe Tells All

The accounts of a man who wrote pure drivel for a time:
"For two months, I wrote fantastic tales for the Weekly World News, the black-and-white tabloid that proclaims that it is 'America's Extreme Newspaper.' Best known for giving birth to Bat Boy and keeping Elvis Presley alive after all these years, the humorously bombastic WWN headlines live alongside candy and the celebrity-trashing Globe in the checkout lane"

Life's tough all over, kid.

Writing for tabloids was out of this world [RelishNow]
Via grow-a-brain

We have to mention the fine Bat Boy: The Musical

The television's been drinkin'

Tom "I'll sue the tits off anything that uses my songs to shill crap" Waits did a television commercial?! Why, yes he did, a 1981 ditty for Purina's Butcher's Blend dog food entitled, ironically if you squint, "Billboard". Turns out the late 70s/early 80s Hell of his relationship with both Rickie Lee Jones and his manager Herb Cohen going south combined with a little ennui over his not huge success both financially and commercially may have spun the poor man's head a little, resulting in the (real weird if you're into his music) bone-chilling sound of Tom's Voice growling with desire "beef... liver.... bacon"

Read a good summary of the period in Tom's life which lead up to this here, including this interesting tid-bit:

"Robert Hilburn (1999): "Waits moved to New York around 1980, partly to shed some of the hard-drinking L.A. habits, even enrolling in a fitness class. Smiling as he recalls an image from that period, he says, "I was running down the street to the Y to work out and I had a glass of alcohol in one hand, with some aluminum foil over it so it wouldn't spill, and a cigarette in the other hand. . . and I realized I was kind of coming apart."

H. Weinstein, line one

The Son of Satan decides to call in to Art Bell's radio show. Hilarity and an MP3 ensue. Condi Rice still somehow singe.

Have You Been Taking Anything For This? [Need Coffee.com]

Top 10 Most Eccentric People you didn't know

For example, former professional football player / BBC sports presenter / British Green Party national spokesperson Mr. David Icke, who has our collective backs in the face of the Reptilian Humanoids. Since 1990 David Icke has been trying to get to the bottom of "The Elite", a race of reptilian humanoid overlords whose members include George W. Bush. Remember V? David Icke is living it, and he's not even the top of the list.

Top 10 Most Eccentric People you didn't know [2spare]

Slacktivist does Left Behind

For just about two and half years the blogger Slacktivist has been going over Wal-Mart unit-shifting religious tract/Kirk Cameron nipple stiffener/Stand rip-off Left Behind with a fine-tooth comb, examining the hoary bullshit page by page, a task akin to checking the beach for sand. Slacktivist's efforts make for great reading if you unfortunately have Left Behind in your life for some reason, for example if you happen to wake up one morning and you're Alan Thicke.

Slacktivist - Left Behind
Via Monkeyfilter.

Gimcrackery The Bird

We're aware that a lot of our readers spend a large portion of their day more or less extremely fucked up. For you, the bleary piss test-shirking masses who make getting even simple forms passed through the machinery of modern bureaucracy so difficult, we offer up Gimcrackery The Bird. We don't know either, please don't ask.

Thanks to Slidell The Cat

Pee Pee

Yeah, we're not even going to try to explain this one to you, but good luck un-seeing it.

Pee Pee [Magic Butter]
Thanks to Susannah, by way of Geisha Asobi

Trojan condoms fortell the 9/11 tragedy?

Here's one wack-assed eBay auction for a pack of Trojans. A year ago we would have laughed at this attempt at humor /cash-raking, now we get like nine emails a day from people who want us to help promote things they'll do for a few bucks at a time, like The Million Dollar Booger Wall, or the Million Dollar Baby, which involved thumbtacks. Here's an excerpt from the condom thing:

Please weigh the following facts about this auction and make the decision for yourself:

# There are two (twin) condoms in this auction.
# When in an unrolled state, a condom is very similar in shape to the phallically-shaped World Trade Center buildings.
# Condoms are typically used to prevent bad things from happening. Note that these condoms have not been used, and very bad things happened.

It goes on like that for a while. If that wasn't lame enough for you, try this handy service: Insult The President. What it sounds like; you insult, they send. You'll still get fucked over when you try to buy a house in a few years, but you'll have a handy document showing why, which is more than most civil rights leaders get.

David Schwimmer reads your future

David Schwimmer reads your future. To keep things fair, we'll predict his-- 2012: moves to France after being caught fingering a capuchin monkey at the LA Zoo.

Oh, like you saw the Jackson 5 and figured he'd grow up to be a white chick.

David Schwimmer reads your future [houseplant picture studio]

A Valentine from The Art of Bleeding

The Art of Bleeding Foundation fondly reminds us of our first real true valentine, the ever-willing, ever- orgasmic, ever-mute Resusci Annie with their Valentine's day short A Valentine. We often think back in wonder if it was CPR which anyone learned from that thing.

A Valentine [The Art of Bleeding Foundation]

And say.. Whisky Tango Foxtrot, US Dept Of Homeland ~~Thievery~~ Security?

Progress

On Friday, many, well some, of you watched Arrested Development's final bow on Fox. It's Monday, and one of the blink and you miss `em gags is now a tee shirt on Cafepress. Seventeen years ago it took months for Bart Simpson to pop up peeing on stuff on shitty hand-drawn ghetto tees. That's a hell of turnaround. Thanks, internet!

Effectively hide your thunder here

Hot love is where you find it

The 640 480 video collective presents their second annual Video Valentine thing-- ecards, essentially, but with short loops of video with a Richard Speck kind of romance in its heart.

Video Valentines [640480]

Also, the next time your cute but not fully programmed android badgers you with questions after you tell it you need some alone time with your significant human other, you can show it these: Love Is.. Always Being A Gentleman, and Love Is... Making A Surprise Dinner. [Nelson Rock and Roll Detectives]

Valentine for Perfect Strangers

Odd little clip which appears to be a video flyer for some event in Brooklyn. Pleasantly weird.

Thanks to Thomas

CulturePulp goes to Slamdance

Mike Russell's "journalism comic strip" CulturePulp goes to the Slamdance film festival, Slamdance being the other film festival in Park City Utah, one in which bitty shoestring movies most people will never see get their Warhol 15 ... sort of like the Sex Pistols to Sundance's Journey. It's where Napoleon Dynamite became Napoleon Dynamite, and where The Call of Cthulhu has ended up. We wondered about that.

CulturePulp 046: Postcards from Park City