We were going to make a big deal out of Talk Like A Pirate Day, but halfway through the second "yaaar!" our left hand actually achieved self-awareness and tired to strangle us, so we're going to instead suggest that you talk like William Shatner, which is a lot funnier, particularly if you don't announce that you're doing a "bit." You'll be hospitalized against your will in no time, which is about as raw as comedy gets. William Shatner took home an Emmy award for some show we've never seen last night, so we're going to recycle some old links re-introduce you to some quality Shatner from the past.

· Shatner Does Seven
· Golden Shat
· The Standardized Should I Stalk William Shatner Test
· Complete and utter Bill Shat