-Rusty nervously dialed the number. "Hello, Gay Hotline?" he said. "My name is Rusty White. I'm 9 years old. I'm a homosexual, and I want to marry a fireman. Everybody hates me because I'm a homosexual: Mother, Father, sister Sue, Officer Plotchnik, and all the kids at school. I tried to run away but a man tried to buy me ice cream, and I kicked him in the balls. I tried to kill myself but the driver stopped and gave me your number. What should I do?"

Rusty is a homosexual
Sounds like he needs some Hetracil.

Also, here's Howard Stern's little Flash promo for his new Siruis channel
Thanks to EasySite