Screenhead : Humor: Poop

We bet these will be available longer than legal abortions. Har.

WFMU Dubya remix ringtones!

"What better incentive to answer your phone as quickly as humanly possible than by installing one of these eleven ringtones, each comprised of the vocal stylings of our Commander in Chief, as remixed by WFMU's public domain audio elves."

Available in musical and non-musical. Caution: the "I'll fire any member of my staff who leaks the identity of a CIA agent" ringtone may in fact cause your pants to burst into flame.

Dubya Ringtones: Answer This! [WFMU's Beware Of The Blog]

CNN's "That's Bullsh_t" Coverage

You know that unspoken thing which happens when you're watching a news program and you suspect that the participants are "acting like grown-ups" for the camera with an entirely contrary set of thoughts in their head about whatever the show is covering? On Friday's Lou Dobbs Tonight program, correspondent Dana Bash (presumably, the voice is in fact unidentified) is heard to whisper off camera "that's bullshit" when Lou reads his copy which states that Karl Rove claims he first learned about Valerie Plame from Robert Novak.

CNN's "That's Bullshit" Coverage [Crooks and Liars]

Also, Mr. Sun demands your answers: who is sexier? Bob Novak, or Angelina Jolie?

She ain't heavy, she's -who we kidding

"It's the Bizaro Ethel Merman."
"She's like a garbage bag full of fighting Muppets back from the dentist."
"It's like the little exorcist girl stung by bees."
"The first time she doesn't actually look like a retard. The irony."

People overhead at our house while trying to get a grip on Rosie O'Donnell's performance as a retarded person in the TV movie Riding the Bus with My Sister, the most corrosive thing to happen to film since mold.
And so we direct you to a highlight reel of Rosie's performances from the movie, wisely put together over at TVgasam. It's a speedball of pure evil.

Everything's Coming Up Rosie [TVgasam]
Seen @ You Cant Make It Up

April 15 is Poop For Peace Day

"On April 15, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Saddam and Osama on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel."

Do all of this, for April 15 is Poop For Peace Day. [The Poop Report] With thanks to tydirium

The Gooks Of Hazzard

A quick promo for The Damn! Show DVD from Yucko The Clown, of the Howard Stern show fame.
Yes, we realize it's wrong. What can we say, you'd have to be a robot to not laugh at this.

The Gooks Of Hazzard (.wmv file)
Seen @ mfisn

Terri Schiavo Bingo

The Happy Slap collection

A collection of small videos featuring the Happy Slap "meme" in action, a fad in which punks slap random commuters in the face and film it on mobile phones. Or, as it is known in America, "six hard hours in the ER with a mobile phone 2/3s of the way up your intestines, sunshine."

Happy Slap Video Meme via Waxy links

How to alienate and upset complete strangers everywhere

Swearsaurus: "the world's largest resource of multilingual swearing." Learn how to get the shit kicked out of you in 165 languages. For example, "Teri behen ka lavda rubber ka!!!" If you speak Hindi, then you know what I've just said about your sister and what material her penis is made out of. Such a beautiful culture, isn't it?

Swearsaurus [insultmonger]

Also, How to stop getting the trash picked up from your block for forever(wmv file) [ejb dot com]

"The Proud Mary Montage"

"The Proud Mary Montage" (.wmv) The hell that is American Idol, in handy tarball form. Kiss whatever faith you cling to adi�s, las se�oras y getlemen.

But one of the many inkwells of thick schadenfreude to be found at the Game Show Network's Video Wall.

Also, Kawsone's adorable windup bombs. The most snuggly widdle politcal statement since Ralph Nader. In QuickTime.

From the Sometimes It's Just Crowded Dept : Urinalpoop

What it sounds like. Complete with gallery.
he site explains itself thusly :

" Most of us have, at one point or another in our lives, seen a urinal. As objects in and of themselves they don't elicit much in the way of commentary.
However, when combined with fecal matter, the urinal instantly becomes a veritable tinderbox of wonderment, derision, offense, and general unpleasantry."

Urinalpoop