How to Bang Just About Any Object In Your House, or, Hints from Heloise's Teenage Son.

"If you're visiting this site, you are in desperate need of a woman. And between you and me, it ain't gonna happen."

And how. Uncle Melon offers up twelve ways for the lonely boy to get it on with everyday inanimate objects, such as fruit or Britney Spears. Most guys with this particular need figure it out for themselves, which is why we tend to avoid offers of opened cans of Spam at certain houses.
The Uncle Melon Consumer Guide to Banging Just About Anything [Uncle Melon]