Fred Durst is suing Gawker with which we are only loosely associated
Filed under Humor: Butt
Fred Durst is suing Gawker, with which we are only loosely associated. We here at Screenhead, which is not Gawker, would just like to take this opportunity to say we agree with Mr. Durst 110% and support his decision fully. What that other site, which is edited by a completely other whole different person, a stupid, crazy person who we don’t like and never talk to— what ever it was that site did was inexcusable, and we had absolutely no part in it. Our linking to that site is not our choice. Furthermore, we were legally and clinically dead when the link to that site was posted for us, and we have the medical bill and ambulance fees to back that claim up.
We here at Screenhead —and we’re speaking for ourselves here, as we’re not Gawker— would like to acknowledge the fact that Limp Bizkit is, of course, the seminal band of our generation, and that we have all of your albums, even the last one. We’d also like to say that, while we normally don’t swing this way, we think you, Fred Durst, are possibly the sexiest man alive, and once science allows men to birth children, we’d be honored if you would consider us to be allowed to do so for you. We love that insolent, untamed, “screw off, society!” baseball cap thing you invented which Black people stole from you, and we envy how you say the things we only wish we could say ourselves like “fuck” and “motherfuckerz” and “I hope you know I pack a chain saw, I’ll skin your ass raw.” Most of all we love that you managed to take the word “nookie” out of the hands of Pat Robertson and other senior citizens, bringing it back down to the streets where it damn well belongs.
We here at Screenhead, which we’d like to point out once again is not Gawker, wish you the best in your proceedings, and we look forward to your next album.
Fred Durst - Touch My Balls And My Ass And Then Sue Gawker (we didn’t choose the title for this post, and we apologize unreservedly to you for reprinting it, Fred. We are merely following orders.)
