Every person who doesn't really have their heart set on life as either a hand model or being on television for a living should probably try to make their own Corndog-sized sparklers at least once in their lives. Science blog Retrospectacle shows you how.

How To Make Your Own Sparklers [Retrospectacle]

Regular readers may wonder if we'll ever tired of the melting nazi image we recycle in posts which instruct our readers how to hurt themselves like this and the answer is simply no, as we're pretty dumb and easily amused, but did you know the actor who played him was also The Bishop of Bath and Wells in Blackadder II? Yes, we just found out ourselves. The two of you who care or even know what we're talking about must be almost too excited to stand it. Now, go fabricate a festive combustible on a stick and wave it around fer christsakes.