Are you there god? It's us, Screenhead. Look, we don't ask you for much, a few plane crashes, the occasional small fire, make Stephen Segal cartoonishly fat, you know, piddly stuff that you were probably going to do anyway, no big deal, right? If you could just see that somehow, and we know this is a biggie, not like that Schwarzenegger bike wreck we asked for which you only sort of got half-right, but nevermind about that, if you could see that somehow this car eyeglasses place ad got on during the Superbowl, we'd be so grateful god. So grateful. It would make that goofy locust shit you pulled look like the cheap prank it was. It would restore the cool points you lost with turning Nicolette Sheridan into a man. Thanks, and you bless.

The Girl Likes The Stick [adrants]
Thanks to Susannah for the tip, thanks to Mathew for the correction