Screenhead

Comedy Goldmine - Nightmares

Something Awful eschews humor in this week's Comedy Goldmine for gibbering madness.

"I know you were coming here expecting to laugh at the Comedy Goldmine this week. Well, you're screwed. This week's all about nightmares. This Goldmine contains somewhat disturbing images, so you might not want to look at them if you're at work with a bunch of fundamentalist Christians or you're a total pussy. Otherwise, dive on in."

Some of these are simply upsetting. Anne Heche upsetting.

Comedy Goldmine - Nightmares [Someting Awful]

She ain't heavy, she's -who we kidding

"It's the Bizaro Ethel Merman."
"She's like a garbage bag full of fighting Muppets back from the dentist."
"It's like the little exorcist girl stung by bees."
"The first time she doesn't actually look like a retard. The irony."

People overhead at our house while trying to get a grip on Rosie O'Donnell's performance as a retarded person in the TV movie Riding the Bus with My Sister, the most corrosive thing to happen to film since mold.
And so we direct you to a highlight reel of Rosie's performances from the movie, wisely put together over at TVgasam. It's a speedball of pure evil.

Everything's Coming Up Rosie [TVgasam]
Seen @ You Cant Make It Up

One Lucky Fan

A short film in which a Paris Hilton-esque socialite is revealed to be the architect of her own loopy attempts at notoriety, and who will go as far as she needs to for that misguided fame. What a silly concept! It'd probably sell a lot of books if certain Dakota Fanning jokes are allowed to stay in, which they won't be.

~~The Tinkerbel~~, er, One Lucky Fan [atom films] With thanks to Peter.

The Quandary and Quintessential Phases of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

The Quandary and Quintessential Phases of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy radio series starts tonight. Watch a video [Real format] of the recording of the new series at the BBC site, and tomorrow (May 4) catch a live webchat with cast members Simon Jones & Geoffrey McGivern,(Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect, respectively.)

the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy [BBC]

We'd rather a bottle in front of us

Watch a trailer for A Hole In One, a somewhat playful movie centered around the development of the transorbital lobotomy (for a full, wrenching description of transorbital lobotomies catch this episode [Real format] of PRI's To The Best of Our Knowledge), with broader themes of American paranoia, and more importantly, Meat Loaf.

"It would be so beautiful to have a lobotomy in America right now."

A Hole In One

The Clint Howard Variety Show

"The shortest, cheapest variety show in the history of entertainment."
Johnny Bark had a tiny little variety show which quite simply kicks ass. All six episodes are dynamite, the Andy Dick one stands out for having both a Clint Howard rock out flashback in which Clint looks like Jame Gumb, and a clown named Fucko. All of that before Andy Dick shows up with a musical number, and all of this in about half the time it takes for a Letterman bit.

The Clint Howard Variety Show (With thanks to Adam)
The Clint Howard Variety Show with Andy Dick
Why we called him Johnny Bark

Mac's - Bloody Zit

Possibly the darkest, most Cronenbergesque ad we've seen for a frozen drink product. Ever. Thumbs up.

Now pardon us, we're going to vomit.

Mac's - Bloody Zit [`boards]

Quick Hits

·Terry Gross interview with R.Crumb [NPR]

·The Essence of Douchebag [Factualmaterial.com]

·How did George Lucas create Star Wars? [Jitterbug.com]

·Fulfillment -a Flash game which reminds us of how we ended up the "special" class. [Homokaasu]

·Swear in Chinese. [Wejustdontcare.com]

·Buffo the Clown [via Double Viking]

Gym Class

With 10 fingers on every student, tension mounts and things get hairy real fast in gym class one fateful day in this funny short from comedy unit Olde English.

Gym Class [Olde English]

14.59

Jeff Gannon/Egghead from the old Batman show/Guckert or whomever presses his duplicitous yet well-toned ass against the outer limit of his allotted Warhol 15 with an appearance on Real Time With Bill Maher. Fish in a barrel hilarity ensues.

Gannon/Guckert Appears On 'Real Time' [Dem Bloggers]

The Seven Deadly Sins.. in Gummie Bears

A clever Flikr photoset in which Gummies are used to illustrate the express elevator to Hell, the Seven Deadly Sins. Pictured to our left is "Sloth"... or possibly Elijah Wood. You have to squint.

Wiedmaier/ The Seven Gummie Sins [Flikr]
Seen @ boing boing

The Coney Island Sideshow

A well-designed website documents/promotes the last real traditional ten-in-one circus sideshow. We're impressed with the site and all, it gets a mood across, but to be honest a lot of these "freaks" look like any random sampling of folks from any Greyhound bus that we have ever been on.

The Coney Island Sideshow
Seen@Grow A Brain

A Day In The Life Of Africa

"One day in the life of afica as seen by 100 photographers. "
Olympus' very slick Flash slideshow containing some amazing images, backed up by cool ambeint soundfiles. It feels like what CD ROM education packages in 1992 or so used to promise but not quite manage to deliver.

A Day In The Life Of Africa [Olympus]

MILF Hotline

The MILF Hotline. She's alone. She's Russian. She's plural.
Ready to drop doesn't necessarily mean ready to stop. Ahhhhh, yeah.

MILF Hotline [Goodiebag TV]

Mobile Movie Theater

Atom Films is now offering small movies like Rockfish for the Sony PSP.

Mobile Movie Theater [atom films]